Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Wed. Is Any Day For All I Care #21

Ambush Bug: Year None #4
Kull #1
Sgt. Rock: The Lost Battalion #1
Yeti vs Vampire #1

Ambush Bug: Year None #4 (DC, 2008, $2.99)
Well... it's better than the last couple issues, and there are some cute "52" related bits, but I'm really thinking I maybe oughta reread all my old Irwin Schwab comics before ordering that Showcase edition. I'm starting to wonder if I was just easier to please as a child.

Kull #1 (Dark Horse, 2008, $2.99)
Speaking of, as a child of the barbarian lovin' '80s, I remember seeing Marvel's King Kull and Conan the King series racked together at toy and convenience stores. I knew who Conan was, but otherwise had trouble telling them apart. I think one had a young, vulnerable son, but maybe I'm just confusing them with a series I actually followed, The Warlord. Anyway, kings suck, so I just bought "Conan Saga" magazine, instead.

Point being, I came to the new Kull as a virgin, and leave a born again virgin. The art by Will Conrad is attractive, but the story by Arvid Nelson is really thin and familiar. Didn't Radical's Hercules mini-series have essentially the same set-up, without wasting eleven pages on the hero fighting a random monster to prove he's a "bad ass." Yawn.

Sgt. Rock: The Lost Battalion #1 (DC, 2008, $2.99)
It's like the History Channel illustrated. Told almost entirely in caption boxes filled with factoids where a story should be, and filled with stiff, heavily photo-referenced art. Jules Feiffer is spinning in his grave.

The book opens like Saving Private Ryan, as our troops are storming the beach-- but they're getting cut to ribbons by enemy fire! Ohhhh noooo, Mr. Bill! But Sgt. Rock is here, looking like a C-list actor is playing him in a made-for-cable feature! The man of action is shouting into a radio for cover fire from a Navy battleship, and gets it mister! Annnd, that's about all he does, besides being referred to as a "grizzled sergeant" twice on as many consecutive pages. Then the whole thing turns into a really weak M*A*S*H side story, and oh look, creator Billy Tucci has drawn himself into the piece. Joy.

By the way, I now know "holocaustic" is a real word, but my spell-check hates it, and it sounds so retarded I bothered to look it up.

Yeti Vs. Vampire #1 (Antarctic Press, 2008, $0.99)
The anti-Sgt. Rock: The Lost Battalion. A great big cheesy ball of stupid, without the slightest hint of educational value or pretense. '60s Marvel Comics evil terrorist organization types penetrate an frozen lair. Monks chop them to pieces. Albino werewolves chop them to pieces. Or are they were-vampires, like the one from Coppola's Dracula that likes to have Cybil Danning Howling 2 furry sex with people? "Dedicated in Loving Memory to Mike 'RINGO' Wieringo?" Ridiculously violent, but all drawn in a kid-friendly animated style with the cure words bleeped out. For reals, yo. Miles Gunter and Kelsey Shannon are like early Peter Jackson here, and if the whole run were a buck each, it might be worthy picking up for sheer stupefying audacity. As it is, well, comics are expensive these days, and moreso if you have to light up a bowl to really swing with them...

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