Power Lords #1 (December, 1983)

I have a certain nostalgic fondness for the Power Lords and their perceived potential, even if the toys and concept were actually pretty shitty. When I found a set of their long forgotten three issue DC Comics mini-series on sale for $1.50, I figured, why not? The creative team was surprisingly good, being a pre-Hex outing by Michael (The Spectre) Fleisher and Mark (Wolverine) Texeira. I will always love Tex, as evidenced by all the crap books I've bought with his art, dating back to at least Psi-Force and including this.

Things started out well enough, with the alien heroine Shaya flying a "space sled" through the black vacuum. She was trying to evade a Trigore Squadron, "mutant intergalactic scavengers" who looked like green anteaters with tusks that shot lasers out of their snouts. A pack of them ran after Shaya through outer space, forcing her to make a desperate trek to Earth.

Meanwhile, Dr. Ivey at an observatory observed the strange emanations caused by this battle with his mysterious amnesiac assistant Adam. Ivey had an inexplicable faith in the unexplicated Adam, and left him alone that night to tend to the observatory. Adam had visions of terrible genocide on extraterrestrial worlds, and rushed outside when the space sled landed nearby.

The exiting Shaya knew exactly who and what Adam was, literally tugging Adam to her starcraft to exit Earth space before the Trigore Squadron caught up with them. Once in flight, Shaya reverted to her grody red-skinned natural Toranian form, and gave Adam a strange jewel to affix to his forehead, so he could become similarly gross, but in a shade of blue. Shaya revealed Adam was in truth an alien Power Lord, heir to the monarchy of Izah and Moira. Both had been murdered by the buggy Arkus the Dictator is a surprise assault, on which he was joined by Ggriptogg the Crusher and Raygoth, the "Goon of Doom." Against his will, Adam's memory had been wiped, and he was secreted on Earth by Shaya. This put Arkus out, because his overzealous goons weren't supposed to slaughter the royal family, at least until after they granted him access to their devastating weaponry.



Shaya flew to Volcan Rock, a roving Death Star and probable playset from which she meant to help Adam Power launch his counteroffensive. Thanks to his gem, Adam could become Lord Power, allowing him tricks like unaided space flight and energy projection. The latter was required to reactivate Volcan Rock, and after doing so, Adam and Shaya were ambushed by Ggriptogg and Raygoth. Adam managed to overpower (ba-dum-bump) the pair, but was disintegrated alongside Shaya by a stealthy Arkus.

For the opening chapter of a licensed property, Power Lords was strong, especially compared to most of DC's other attempts to catch the same lightning as Marvel's Conan/Star Wars/Micronauts/G.I. Joe./Transformers/etc. While the timeline here was screwy, Fleisher set up a reasonable framework to drive a series. The villains weren't well defined, but Adam's life on Earth seemed interesting. While Texeira has his obvious faults, his pages were fairly pretty, and his moody lighting gave these highly derivative events dramatic weight. A shame it would all go downhill from here...

"Whatever Happened To... The Crimson Avenger?" (10/1981)

Admitted to City Community Hospital, Lee Travis had a new, inoperable, incurable condition. He also had an estimated week to live, and as a man of action, Travis just didn't think it was fair that he should pass with a whimper. First, as the Daily Globe-Leader's crusading young publisher, then as "the midnight manstalker called the Crimson Avenger," Travis relentlessly pursued justice in the 1930s & 40s. However, Travis vanished for decades, lost in time alongside his fellow members of The Seven Soldiers of Victory. Though still a fit man of reasonable age after being brought to the present day with the help of the Justice League of America, culture shock and the power levels of that caliber of super-hero sent the merely human Crimson Avenger into retirement.

Using wealth from his newspaper, Travis became a world traveler, until he was diagnosed as terminal while in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Now, it isn't the dying, but the injustice of dying meekly that irked him. Good thing Travis spied that tanker ship blinking "SOS" in code with its lights from his hospital room window. Suiting up one final time as the Crimson Avenger, Travis dove out his window, making his way via flagpoles and such.

On the south side of town, a muy caliente mami complained about the price of food in her apartment, as her niño toddler Umberto slipped and fell over the ledge. Her "single soul-chilling scream" was stifled by the Crimson Avenger's catching the kid in mid-death plunge. "Gracias dios, señor!" This hero would be in her grateful prayers that night as he swung away, explaining that before she was born, he was "el Vengadore Rojo."

Hopping an unauthorized ride on a commuter shuttle-copter's landing gear, the Crimson Avenger finally reached the tanker. Well-armed mercenaries had taken the vessel for its experimental, unstable, highly volatile chemical cargo. Though machine guns blazed, they fared poorly at finding a target through the red fog bombs dropped by our hero. A grenade was far more effective, as it set off a chain reaction with the chemicals, deemed so dangerous they had been scheduled for a mid-Atlantic deep-sixing. Learning that the whole shebang was about to take out the city like a hydrogen bomb, the Crimson Avenger had the crew and crooks hauled into lifeboats. Then, he navigated the tanker as far from the city as possible.

Reaching a safe distance, Lee Travis began to smile. He knew he'd saved the city, even as he'd doomed himself. "At least this way my death counts for something... at least this way the Crimson Avenger will be remembered! I'm just happy I got one last chance to wear this good old uniform... For the first time in years I feel truly alive--!"

Bang.

Police pulled the survivors from the water at the docks. The captain wanted all the credit to go to their savior, except "the smoke was too thick to see him clearly... and he never mentioned his name!"

The legend of the Crimson Avenger seemed as dead as the namesake, but then again, there's that senorita to remember. "When you are old enough, Umberto, I will tell you how a brave man saved your life today... and then someday you will tell your children so they can tell their children! We must never forget el Vengadore Rojo... the Crimson Avenger!"



This back-up story from DC Comics Presents #38 was crafted by Len Wein, Alex Saviuk & Dennis Jensen.

Secret Origins Annual #1: "The Secret Origin of Captain Comet" (1987)

Cover detail by John Byrne


Golden Age comics weren't nearly as sanitary as most folks seem to think, but writer/historians like Roy Thomas managed to regurgitate their tales through the filter of bland Silver Age Comics Code Approved drivel throughout the 70s and 80s, spoiling these greats for a generation or two.

While DC celebrated its 50th anniversary with character deaths and revision/deconstruction, sometimes documented in the front of Secret Origins, the back was devoted to dry recitation of yellowed tales about characters dismissed as too inherently dated to rate an update. Instead of the most dynamic and lush artists of the Golden Age drawing these heroes, Secret Origins had bottom feeders whose clinical, impersonal styles had fallen out of favor at DC after twenty years as an anchor around the company's neck.

For instance, there's Captain Comet, appearing in a tale by Thomas and Ron Harris with poorly meshing inks by the usually swell Bruce D. Patterson. Following a revised Doom Patrol origin by Paul Kupperberg and John Byrne in his prime, Comet couldn't have been more offputting and pedestrian.

The retelling opens in 1951, with a grim, more detailed description of the onslaught of the giant tops that were originally set-up at the end of Strange Adventures #9: "The Origin of Captain Comet!" (June 1951). Captain Comet then makes a more visually dramatic debut, crashing through a police barricade at super speed. At a sprawling Midwestern university, Professor Emery Zackro heard the news on the radio, and launched into a fairly faithful flashback to Comet's first story (which was told in chronological order.) Now, the first version was drawn by Carmine Infantino, and though not as expressive as he would be in later years on The Flash or Adam Strange in Mystery In Space, was still a beaut'. Harris' take could only have been more bland if he didn't have Patterson's embellishment, and his mustache on Zackro is so long and straight it breaks panel borders. Running the same number of pages as Comet's two-part debut, this version still seems drawn out and slow moving. There's greater detail being imparted, but it proves unnecessary baggage. Also, the gangster's bullet bounces off Adam Blake's brow instead of his chest, all the better to fit it in long, skinny panels. Though quite faithful to the original's plot, the storytelling here lacks the bounce.

Another important distinction is that the seeming subtext of Broome's seminal story is dialed down to a barely audible hum. Look at Broome's opening captions and Blake's emotionally troubled reaction to his mutation separating him from all of humanity. However evolved Blake may be, he's clearly lost something essential to modern man that plagues him. Whether he was gay, had a micropenis or hid a skirt under his spacesuit is unknown to me, but at least by 1951 standards, there has got to be something "wrong" with Blake for him to whine at a Stan Lee reading level. I lean toward closeted homosexuality, myself. For instance, Blake saves a hot blond from a dangerous fall with his telekinesis, and then proceeds to not score with the chick, who never appeared again. What red-blooded hetro would allow such a bird to escape? But no, Blake runs to Prof. Zackro, an apparently unmarried older fop with dandy Victorian facial hair. Zackro helps instill in Blake a fear of ever revealing his terrible "secret," and how the media attention it would cause would ruin his life.

Combining a belt with suspenders wouldn't be the choice of a queer eye, but his asymmetrical winged buckle was to die for! That belt sure doesn't get in the way of Blake's casually disrobing in front of Prof. Zackro, with whom he soon comes to live. Yep, just two straight guys, living together, teacher and student, sharing a "secret" they mustn't share, and all with no women in sight. Sure. Move over Northstar, because the granddaddy of metaGLBT wants to finally out himself, right?

Strange Adventures #10: "The Air Bandits From Space!" (July 1951)

People on Earth were dying from lack of air! Mysterious machines had landed-- invulnerable to attack-- that were drawing away the world's precious atmosphere! But in the fearful crisis, Earth found its champion-- the extraordinary and heroic Captain Comet-- who alone of all humans possessed unique futuristic abilities that enabled The Man of Destiny to seek out and defy an incredible enemy that none could withstand...
The AIR BANDITS FROM SPACE!

by John Broome (writing as Edgar Ray Merritt,) Carmine Infantino & Bernard Sachs.

As reported previously, and repeated here by a haggard reporter out of "Las Negas," six giant spinning tops would siphon all the planet's air within a day, emitted radiation that put approaching humans down, and shrugged off a-bombs. Humanities only hope was Captain Comet, who had just visited the city to combat this threat.

Back in an unidentified Midwest city, Professor Emery Zackro listened to the report over the radio. He recalled giving Adam Blake three times the amount of poison to kill a normal man, but left the future Captain Comet unaffected. "It must be that my futuristic body is immune is immune to this acid!" This had been yet another test of Blake's abilities, which were proven again when lethal radiation from the top left Captain Comet with only a slight tingle as he raced toward against its desert trek. Comet ripped the otherwise impervious metal skin of the top with his bear hands, making his own entrance into its belly. Captain Comet determined there was nothing inside but machinery, as it was being remote controlled.

Exiting the top, Captain Comet used a blackened piece of glass and his own incredible vision to see the radiomagnetic waves controlling the top came from near the moon! Swiftly returning to Zackro's lab, Comet constructed a spaceship with 200,000 horsepower. In minutes, this "Cometeer" craft sped its master to the dark side of the moon, where the Captain found an alien vessel larger than a terrestrial ocean liner! Maneuvering through an open hatch, the Cometeer landed inside, where the Man of Destiny found hundreds of humanoid aliens in suspended animation! The craft seemed to be running on auto-pilot, but one alien awoke. "Ana dok? Who's there?"

Making instant telepathic contact, Blake learned this was "Harun... leader of the Astur race... This creature has a brain almost equal to mine in power!" The Astur were a peaceful lot from an airless world, until a passing star caused "landquakes," forcing scientist-leader Harun to evacuate the population. Over a thousand years later, the ship's auto-pilot found Earth an acceptable replacement world-- once all that air was removed! Captain Comet girded himself for fisticuffs, but that option was dismissed by Harun. Instead, they would play a game of Echek, in which the first person to pick a white pellet blindly from a vase containing 100,000 black pellets makes the other their slave. Harun could detect the difference in weight from black to white pellet, and picked a winner in his fourth try. However, Captain Comet's fingertips were so sensitive, they could detect differences in color, and pullet a white pellet on the first try.

A poor sport, Harun whelched on the bet and fled the room. Captain Comet killed the tops' remote control, then pursued. Harun tried to revive his people to kill Blake, but the Man of Destiny had already determined they were all dead, their corpses perfectly preserved for a century! Horrified, Harun committed suicide by throwing himself out an airlock. Blake tried to save him, but even he wasn't fast enough to beat the ravages of outer space. While in his Cometeer, the alien craft's auto-pilot reset, carrying a ship of the dead in search of a more hospitable world. "What irony!"

Blake returned to Zackro's lab to strip off his uniform and secretly enjoy the global acclaim lavished on Captain Comet!

This two part origin was a fun story with nice art, and is available in full here...

Strange Adventures #9: "The Origin of Captain Comet!" (June 1951)

He was a mystery to himself! Why-- young Adam Blake wanted to know-- was he so different from other people? How did it happen that there was no one else like him in the whole wide world? Where did he really come from? Who was he? All these questions which might have unsettled an ordinary mind-- only served to whet the brain and steel the mettle of the extraordinary youth who, without knowing it, was fated to fulfill a grand and awe-inspiring destiny on Earth-- as Captain Comet-- First Man of the Future! Read now the starling story of...
THE ORIGIN OF CAPTAIN COMET!

by John Broome (writing as Edgar Ray Merritt,) Carmine Infantino & Bernard Sachs.

Two decades ago (about 1931,) a comet appeared over a Midwestern town as Adam Blake was born "in a small city amid humble surroundings." Named after his grandfather, Adam's dad expected great things with the comet as a good sign, but his mother admonished "Oh, John! Don't talk that way! All I want is for him to be just like everyone else!"

This was not to be, as Adam "just knew" things, like the location of missing objects, by age four. At eight, he could memorize whole textbooks in minutes. By high school, he could pick up a musical instrument, and figure out how to play it expertly in no time without any instruction. In college, no one could tackle him on the football field, as though he knew in advance where his opponents were headed.

But despite his successes, Adam was a lonely young man...

"I'm not like everyone else! I-- I try to be, but I'm not! And people sense it-- and avoid me!" Blake was capable of doing anything he set his mind to, almost effortlessly. Saving a beautiful classmate named Betty from a potentially deadly fall, Blake discoverd he could catch her telekinetically from yards away "by mental force!" Yet, he questioned why a person should have a power like that, and went to the wisest man he knew for help, physicist Professor Emery Zackro. The brilliant old fellow ran a battery of tests to determine Blake possessed powers of telepathy, clairvoyance, mind over matter, and a tireless, superhuman physique.

Zackro concluded, "You've heard, I'm sure, of human throwbacks-- men born today with the minds and bodies of the cavemen of 100,000 years ago! Well, think of the opposite of that... Scientifically, there's no reason why the opposite-- an accidental specimen of future man-- should not happen! It just never has, Adam-- till now! ...You are a mutant-- born by chance..."

Blake wasn't sure what to do with his gifts, though he hoped to benefit mankind. Zackro urged him to keep them under wraps for the present, until a considered decision could be made. In the meantime, Blake used his high intellect to correct errors in Zackro's "solar-reducer," a machine that could extract gold particles from sunlight. Randomly, Blake's breakthrough was made in earshot of gangsters who had been charting Zackro's development, and sought to kidnap this new kid genius. Fearless and possessed of exceptional ability, Blake fought off the men with his incredible strength and martial prowess. This led to gunfire, but Blake telekinetically slowed a bullet in midair, allowing it to bounce harmlessly off his chest. Blake finished the fisticuffs, and turned the three hoods over to police.

Later, Zackro bemoaned the foolishness, as his $10,000 machine would take over a year to collect $100 worth of gold. However, a lesson was learned-- that Blake's revealing his powers would only bring unscrupulous opportunists out of the woodwork. For safety, Zackro urged Blake to maintain his secret, and if he must employ his powers for good, to do so in a "new secret identity."

Meanwhile, giant tops began appearing around the globe, wrecking everything in their path, and shrugging off A-bombs without a scratch. This motivated Blake to don a colorful uniform and, inspired by the unknown comet that appeared at his birth, assume the name "Captain Comet." How he would fare against the tops would remain a mystery until the next episode...

"Vampirella of Draculon" (September, 1969)

A lovely young woman was taking a shower-- but something was amiss. There were strange protrusions from her shoulder blades, and a bat-shaped birthmark on her right breast. Also, it seems that, rather than water, the liquid she bathed in was closer to the consistency of blood!

On the planet Draculon, "by a strange quirk of nature," the primary life-sustaining fluid was remarkably similar to hemoglobin. Vast, glassy cities had emerged on this planet of blood, as well as a vampire-like race whose sole sustenance was derived from the substance. "But, the blazing twin suns of Drakulon have caused a drought in the Rivers of Blood... Vampirella, like the rest of her race, is weak from loss of-- food!"

As Vampi writhed and moaned on her plush shag carpet, a pale man announced from a video screen "Vampirella! A spaceship from another world has crashed on the outskirts of Gosi-Bram!" She exclaimed, "Od's Bodkins! I'll check it out with wings on!"

Unsure she had energy enough to maintain altitude with the large, leathery, bat-like wings on her back, Vampirella barely made it to "The Arthur Clark Geosurvey Expedition No.3." As a pair of shaken astronauts exited their ravaged craft, Vampirella thought it best to conserve her strength and approach in the form of a large bat. The astronauts fired a laser at the shapeshifter, winging her. "I'll fix them for that!"

Vampirella turned invisible for a sneak attack, but weak from days without food, reverted to her very visible female form prior to making contact. Mistaken for an interplanetary ghost, Vampirella dive-bombed an astronaut, going straight for his throat. "My Drakarate Jab means business!!" The second astronaut met a similar end. "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorched!" Vampirella was shocked to find sustenance in the lifeforce of these "Men-things," and upon learning there were many more inside the spacecraft in suspended animation, cried "SMORGASBLOOD!!" Going from cylinder to cylinder in the "hibernation system," she gorged herself and dropped painful puns. A next issue blurb then warned, "Beware Earth! Vampirella is coming!"

The very first Vampirella story, written by Forrest J. Ackerman, set the standard for the titillating if somewhat embarrassing post-Silver Age anti-heroine. The plot is simple, silly, and dotted with atrocious dialogue. Hell, Vampirella performed a two page near-nude tease in a blood shower before complaining of a severe lack of the food-stuff. It isn't suppose to be high art, clearly. Good thing Tom Sutton starts things off right with the aforementioned Bill Ward-style strip tease, then follows up with some pretty zip tones and a strong Wally Wood vibe. The only thing sweeter than the art are Vampi's skintight hip huggers, a welcome deviation from the now quite familiar one-piece bathing suit/costume that was premiered on the cover (but not yet in the interiors.) The brief story originally appeared in Warren Publishing's Vampirella #1.

T.H.U.N.D.E.R. Agents: Introduction "First Encounter!" (November, 1965)

A team of special United Nations agents parachuted toward a remote mountain location, only to face enemy fire from within the compromised lab of Professor Jennings. The enemy fell back and escaped in a helicopter, leaving the body of Jennings, who "looks like he put up quite a struggle..." An agent cursed, "We shouldn't have let him work alone! The greatest mind in the free world!"

This was clearly the work of the mysterious "Warlord," whose evil forces were active throughout the globe. "We first heard of him two years ago, when an attempt was made to steal the newest atomic engine!" From one of his captured men, they learned Warlord had "recruited every available criminal and spy," and was "out to steal every scientific development he can!" Even within his organization, the Warlord was an enigma to all but his top lieutenants.

The Warlord's men had made off with the professor's inventions, for which no notes were kept and no duplicates could be produced. "They didn't have time to get everything, sir! Look at these!" The prototype models were taken to The Higher United Nations Defense Enforcement Reserves secret headquarters, though even there many could not be deciphered. However, a few were successfully analyzed...

1. "An electron molecular intensifier belt which will make the wearer's body structure change to the consistency of steel!"
2. "A light polarizer material which is completely non-reflecting... in effect, an invisibility cloak!"
3. "A cybernetic helmet... It could be dangerous, but it could amplify a man's brain power many times over..."
   

More remained to be examined, but for now these three combined could create a "one-man army," but "if he were captured, we'd lose all of them!" Instead, they would "find and train at least three special agents... the best!" After all, "They'll have to be the best to cope with the Warlord!"

...And so the search begins...

This story, originally published in Tower Comics' T.H.U.N.D.E.R. Agents #1, was by Len Brown & Wally Wood.

Action Comics #598 (March, 1988)

A SHORT BOX SUMMERY

Lois Lane was a bit miffed when the Quaracan Minister of Defense backed out of a scheduled interview just because the reporter was a woman. Before the Minister could give her a smack for her impertinence, the pair were kidnapped by terrorists led by the Jackal.

Aboard the U.S.S. Weisinger, prisoners had been taken by another group of terrorists, the Angels of Allah. This brought the attention of Checkmate, whose Knight-Two emancipated the Minister and Lois on land.

At sea, Superman also benefited from Checkmate's aid. The Angels rigged the ship's nuclear reactors to blow, so Superman sent them to the stratosphere.

The Minister was placed on his private jet and ordered back to Qurac by Knight-Two. Once in the air, Checkmate commanded a bomb on the plane to detonate over international waters.

Also, Superman sulked over a batch of recent personal problems and an irritated boner over Wonder Woman.

by Paul Kupperberg, John Byrne and Ty Templeton.

Action Comics #597 (February, 1988)

A SHORT BOX SUMMERY

Lois Lane headed for Smallville to investigate Clark Kent's disappearance following Lana Lang's assault against him at the Daily Planet. Lane spied a crashed Manhunter ship.

At the Lang house, Lois found Lana in Superman's arms. Lane learned from the pair the story behind the Millennium crossover, but was asked to keep silent about the event. Lois asked if Superman was Clark Kent. Ma & Pa Kent arrived to deny they were one and the same, instead claiming they found Superman and raised him with their birth son Clark. Lois figured Clark and Superman had been jerking her around for years, handing her the occasional scoop. Lois was pissed, and wondered if she could return to the Planet under these conditions.

Later, Lana Lang led Lois Lane to lunch. The waitress was reading Lois' novel, Shadows on the Grass. Lana said Clark really loved Lois, and could never lead her on. Lana confessed Clark wasn't in love with her.

Lois returned to Metropolis, and checked in on Gangbuster. The fallen vigilante hero would probably never walk again, and wished he'd heeded Superman's warnings. The Man of Steel arrived to reveal that an autopsy of Combattor turned up nothing. Lois left, disregarding Superman.

by John Byrne with Leonard Starr & Keith Williams.

Batman #432 (April, 1989)

A SHORT BOX SUMMERY

Batman investigated a break-in at a lawyer's office. The Dark Knight found Maxine Kelly, private investigator, checking a file on William Sanders. Batman allowed Kelly to leave, following her to her loft. Maxine Kelly in turn caught Batman trespassing in her home, going through a file on her current case.

William Sanders had been arrested in relation to the abduction of the then-three year old Josh Winston seven years prior. Sanders was acquitted and relocated by the F.B.I. After years and a dozen inadequate dicks, the former Mrs. Sanders' health had deteriorated.

Reminded of his deceased ward Jason Todd, Batman broke into the Federal Building to further the investigation. The Caped Crusader learned William Sanders' whereabouts after fighting through a phalanx of federales. Batman spent three days staring at coded information before calling on Commissioner Gordon, who refused any help on the matter. After another three days, Batman confronted William Sanders in a church, learning he had spent six years studying at seminary before becoming a priest.

Looking through old photographs, the Dark Knight Detective found a shot of a woman staring at Josh. This stalker checked out as a mother whose own child had been abducted, and Batman soon learned she'd claimed Josh as a replacement. Batman found Josh, who was taken to meet the true mother he never knew, Tina Winston, before she died.

by James Owsley, Jim Aparo and Mike DeCarlo.

Batman #448 (Early September, 1990)

A SHORT BOX SUMMERY

A disfigured hunchback was beaten and left alongside a road. The Penguin and Lark found him, and took him in. Harold turned out to be a technological genius. The Penguin had Harold create a device that could control birds, which Cobblepot then employed to disrupt the Gotham Stock Exchange. The Penguin caricatured the Dark Knight as a fascist to Harold, and claimed Batman despised the disfigured-- just look at his villains.

Oswald later played online chess with a longtime, unidentified partner before watching the soap opera Heartstrings. Oswald adored the character Heron, a lovely schemer and murderess after his own heart.

After the successful trial run, the manipulated birds were set upon Gotham City in general. A death toll mounted with citizens struggling through the chaos. Batman finished playing a round of online chess, then headed to work.

The Penguin used his birds to kidnap Sherry West, the actress who portrayed Heron, with the Caped Crusader in pursuit.

To Be Continued in Detective Comics #615...

"Pawns," part one of "The Penguin Affair" by Marv Wolfman, Alan Grant, Jim Aparo and Mike DeCarlo.

Jemm, Son of Saturn #2 (October, 1984)

"Home, my son, is not a place. It is a feeling. It is a gathering of hearts that give comfort. It is heaven on earth." --from the teachings of Rahani

The snow fell heavy in Harlem that night, as derelicts sat around a drum fire to keep warm. Bertie was their coarse leader, and when Luther tried to take in some of the heat, Bertie pushed the boy to the ground. Bertie claimed "...there's only fire enough for four," and his fellows began to wonder if the boy had some money they could poach. Jemm slapped his large hand over Bertie's shoulder, then tossed the brute so far into the sky he would certainly never return intact. The derelicts drew weapons on Jemm, who screamed in his alien tongue and launched himself at the crowd. Jemm's body contorted and extended in an eerie manner as he stalked the men, but one turned over the drum, igniting Jemm's cape.

A fifth wino was Crazy Freddie, who had stolen a bottle of bourbon from Bertie just as Luther had arrived at the fire. Now, Freddie threw his coat over Jemm, smothering the flames and earning Luther's affectionate thanks.

Elsewhere, a beaten and bloodied Bouncer had made his way to his ma's apartment. "Bruno? Oh, God!" Ma tended to Bouncer, and on learning the injuries were from a job for Mr. Tull, explained, "you should be proud of your wounds, Bruno!" Bouncer explained what happened at the Mannkin apartment, and how it was perhaps only right he'd been hurt, since Mr. Tull only ever sent him to hurt others. When Bouncer said he wanted to quit and stop hurting people, Ma began to repeatedly slap and enjoin Bruno not to speak ill of Mr. Tull. As Bruno began to cry, he promised his mother to keep working and bringing home Mr. Tull's fine money.

Crazy Freddie noticed there wasn't a mark on Jemm. "The fire didn't burn him-- just sort of tried to smother him! Like his body reacts differently to fire than yours or mine would." Jemm went to fetch Gramps' broken body, and Freddie claimed to know just the right place in the sewer to lay the old man down. After the group descended, a Saturnian robot requested back up from outside the manhole. "Repeat: I am ready to meet Saturnian life-form in battle!"

Dade showed up at a senator's house in the middle of the night, with photographs of the U.F.O. and information on the massacre of "forty U.S. special troops and two NASA scientists..." The senator had a house guest present, who was declared a trustworthy patriot. Though the senator thought Dade delirious, the guest saw the value in exploring the unusual "opportunities" should Dade's account prove true. Dade was less generous toward the guest, but the senator demanded, "Hold your tongue, Dade! This gentleman pays more to Uncle Sam in taxes each year that you'll ever make in a lifetime! No one I have ever known has been a better adviser to me, nor a more staunch supporter of this country's government... than Mr. Claudius Tull!"

Crazy Freddie had stolen some hothouse flowers to lay on Gramps' chest, and Jemm allowed the old man's body to drift off into waist deep water. Jemm's thoughts turned reflective, to a ghostly pale figure in a hooded purple robe that sat in a garden with the young Jemm. This was the priest, tutor and friend Jemm knew as Rahani...

"But teacher, are not Red Saturnians fighting White Saturnians just outside the walls of this palace? And if we were outside rather than in, would we not be mortal enemies?"

"Aye. All of Saturn is one great battlefield, and the generals on either side are bigots who cannot see beyond the color of their brothers' flesh! But you are different. You must not hate either the Reds or the Whites."

"And if a white were to breach our walls and kill my father simply because he is Red, would I not then hate all Whites forever?"

"No! You must be above all that! You must swallow all hatred that wells up within you! For you were born to be different, young one! You carry the birthstone upon your forehead-- an omen not seen on Saturn in over twenty eons! It is the sign that you are the special one sent from the creator of all things to be a protector and savior of all Saturnians, White or Red! Remember this always. You must never turn hatred upon any form of life from your homeworld. For you are unique among all Saturnians. You are Jemm, Prince of Saturn!"

Jemm's revere was broken when he was attacked by the towering robot. Jemm briefly sank underwater, then emerged with a stunning intensity, ripping the robot's head off in one swift motion. "Unit RT-36Z58 reports mission failure... Request back-up force commence attack." So it went, as the very water formed into a pummeling fist against the Son of Saturn. Pipes pulled free from the sewer walls to entangle and choke Jemm. A disembodied voice spoke in a tongue only our hero could understand:

"Greetings, Prince of Saturn! My name is Kamah! I am a warrior of the Whites. A Koolar-- shape-taker! And I am ruled by her supreme commandership, Synn! Surprised? Did you really believe you were the last living Saturnian in the entire universe? How vain you are! But how like your father, and your father's father, and every member of every generation of the pompous, strutting Saturnian royal family! For eons, you ruled our planet with an iron hand... but now, every last relative in your pious gene pool has been exterminated-- except for you! And soon, even you shall die!"

Concrete dislodged from the walls to assail Jemm's body. "It is then that Jemm decides to ignore the pain, and he concentrates. From the sparkling jewel on his forehead, a yellow beam shoots upward, probing for Kamah's heart-- searching for a black concentration of pure hatred!" Jemm felt a sick feeling in his gut, and knew he'd located the agent. Jemm withdrew briefly, them released an energy blast that revealed Kamah's true form. The White girl landed in the water, floating upright but lifeless.

Jemm took comfort in Luther's embrace as he slumped wearily. At first he hoped this White, who threatened to kill him and his friends, was dead. Then he shed a tear over the continuing violence between the few surviving Saturnians, and his role in this play.

Bouncer awoke to the sight of Ma standing next to Claudius Tull, a man who pressed Bruno to remain prone with the butt of his cane. Tull wanted to know about the Red Man, as he slowly invaded Bouncer's personal space, forcing the side of Bruno's sweaty face into a pillow with his palm. "You're afraid I won't believe you-- that I'll think your story too fantastic-- and that I'll have Earl and Sid beat you for lying to me. But believe me, Bouncer... I've listened to a number of fantastic stories tonight, and I have every reason to believe they're true..."

Superman #15 (March, 1988)

A SHORT BOX SUMMERY

Winged thieves commit skyrise burglaries in Metropolis. Superman gave chase, but strips of lead foil blocked his x-ray vision. Maggie Sawyer's daughter had run away from her home in Star City. Toby Raines, Sawyer's lesbian lover, consoled her.

Skyhook ran the aerial theft ring, transforming children into winged creatures, and his newest inductee was Jamie Sawyer. Maggie borrowed Jimmy Olsen's signal watch. After a tiff with Lois Lane, Superman answered the signal.

Flashback: Maggie's marriage to James Buchanan Sawyer ended in divorce with her declared an unfit mother. Because of her alternative lifestyle, she lost visitation rights.

Superman captured one of Skyhook's mutated kid thieves. The Man of Steel and Maggie Sawyer tracked Skyhook down, but the villain grabbed Jamie as a hostage. Maggie grabbed her daughter's leg as Skyhook took flight. Skyhook dropped the pair over the city. Confident Superman would save them, Maggie pumped Skyhook full of lead. Kal-El did his part, and joined Maggie in rounding up 22 more kids. Jamie was returned home to her father, with goo from the process still clinging to her arm.

"Wings" by John Byrne with Karl Kesel.

I totally missed the not-so-subtext when I read this as a rather dense 'tween. I just thought Maggie Sawyer worked too many hours around bad men wearing swim trunks and thick mustaches to properly oversee her daughter. I'm not 100% sure I knew women could be gay then. I was aware of gay men from the Blue Oyster Bar, and I was precociously familiar with sapphic sex from Penthouse, but I don't think "dyke" or even "flannel" were in my vocabulary yet. I know from too personal and reflectively tragic experience "mullet" wasn't.

Further Reading:
The Outing of Maggie Sawyer, Part I
Part II

OMAC in "Battle Cry" (November, 1980)

"3:54 A.M. St. Louis, Missouri. The IC&C (International Communication and Commerce) jet fighters came in under radar detection range." Before anything could be done, the jets fired on the city, causing widespread destruction. "5:59 A.M. Verner Bros., Inc. fighters came streaking to the rescue." Battles raging in the skies were followed by a 6 A.M. signal for IC&C ground forces to continue the assault, led by the One Man Army Corps. "The battle into the city is quick, fierce, and bloody. Already 563 IC&C soldiers and 973 Verner Bros. mercenaries have died."

Body counts continued to be tallied as IC&C fighters would hold ground until OMAC arrived on a given scene to insure victory. OMAC's abilities were impressive, as he survived while others fell, taking down military vehicles with whatever weapons or heavy debris were on hand. OMAC also served as an inspirational speaker. "All right, you killers, it's time to do or die!! Tear into them!" His lack of eloquence was made up by his delivery, one supposes.

By 4:34 P.M., IC&C had secured the city, losing 15,352 men to the Verner Brothers' 41,343. OMAC was dismayed by the casualties on both sides, their loves lost "So Wiley Quixote can give a favorable report to his board of directors, about new territories gained?" Things weren't going as OMAC had planned, and sighed to a sergeant while sitting atop a meters high pile of the dead, "...it's been one hell of a day."

This harrowing but brief back-up story from Warlord #39 was written and laid out by Jim Starlin, with tepid finished art by Romeo Tanghal.

DC Challenge #8 (June, 1986)

Previous issue writer Paul Kupperberg intended for the mysterious numeric sequence that had been floating around since the first issue to be an ancient protective magical formula, as when Alanna inscribed it on Rann to route the demons. Also, he would have wanted to see Deadman possess Woozy Winks and perform acrobatics to save his life.

• Batman finally, after eight issues, said plain exactly what the heck had been going on. "Earth and the planet Rann are under attack by mystical forces... demons inhabiting long-dead human beings, and creatures risen out of ancient mythology. At the same time, Earth is being invaded by aliens from some cosmic organization called the Greater Galaxies... I found three 8-figure numbers scrawled on a wall at a power plant... I ran these numbers through my computer here in the Batcave... and got a result that seemed to spell a formula to bring about the end of the world. The numbers, decoded, are electro-magnetic vibrational frequencies... [if] put into operation... the resulting wave-front could crack the Earth like an eggshell." The Dark Knight Detective knew demons were involved, and headed in his Batplane for their nearest concentration point, Metropolis. In the distance, a warp hole opened. "I'm too late... the Batman has already departed. Pity. I might have been of some assistance."



• Back in 1943 Nazi-occupied France, Deadman possessed the unconscious Blackhawk in mid-flight to save Woozy Winks, though his inexperience as a pilot was clear. The other Blackhawks continued to fire on the alien spaceship while themselves being shot out of the sky. Deadman as Blackhawk crash landed, only to be met by Rittmeister Von Hammer, formerly known as the Enemy Ace.



• "...Fade in on the New York Waterfront, circa 1986..." where Plastic Man had just learned The Joker had been recruited by Greater Galaxies to help plan their invasion of Earth. Though this wasn't technically his version of Earth in the Multiverse, Plas nonetheless intended to stop the Clown Prince of Crime's global treachery, though he ultimately was sent napping by a rigged lapel flower.
  
  The turbaned alien Kaz then arrived, still promising Joker kingship of Earth, but demanding "Project X must not be allowed to reach completion. Bork and his renegades must be stopped, at any cost."
  
  Kaz further elaborated, to the relief of the book's entire readership:
  

  "Project X involves the disruption of physical reality... the merging of this reality-plane with that of the netherworld. Bork and his fellow renegades of the Black Council have discovered a weakening of the cosmic fabric here in this locus... on the world you call Earth. A similar, parallel weakening is taking place on the planet Rann, of the star-system Alpha Centauri.
  
  Bork has developed a device known as the Probability Disruptor, which feeds on red sun radiation, relayed to this world from a base on Earth's satellite, Luna. The Disruptor is destroying the protective barrier between realities at this locus. The result is an increase in the manifestation of demons on Earth... manifestations that occur normally at this locus, at periodic intervals related to phases of the moon. Bork's disruptor, however, has increased the number of manifestations a thousandfold.
  
  Project X is upsetting the natural cosmic balance... a balance we of Molanto have worked long and hard to maintain. To save reality, Molanto, in conjunction with the Greater Galaxies organization, have invaded Earth. We have done this for the simple reason of expedience. Bork must be found. Project X must be halted. The fastest, simplest way to accomplish this is through the conquest of Earth."

  
  
  Earth's super-heroes were likely to interfere, so Kaz engaged the Joker to assist in distracting them. "Capturing all the heroes who'd been born off world, like Superman and J'onn J'onzz, among others-- and threatening to execute them as traitors to the Greater Galaxies-- that was my lovely idea. See, it's what we call a red herring. Now all the other heroes will be wondering what the alien heroes have to do with the alien invaders. It'll drive 'em nuts, giving us time to strike! Which brings me, oddly enough, to my final plan... I need three million tons of rubber cement, Kaz..." The Joker wanted to gum up the works in Washington. D.C., but Kaz was done with this insanity, and had the Joker locked away.
  
  As it turned out, Plastic Man was playing possum, having deduced the purpose of the gag flower. Plas turned himself into a skateboard, and had almost escaped the ship to inform the other heroes of his findings, when he was shot from behind by a trooper's laser and fell into the bay...



• The Batplane flew over Metropolis, which by this point looked, as Batman put it, "like something out of Fantasia's 'Night On Bald Mountain!' Demons everywhere... as if a doorway had opened between our world and Hell!" The pandemonium led to the destruction of the Batplane, but the Caped Crusader still managed to reach the Galaxy Broadcasting Building, now aware thanks to the infernal beings he had been inadvertently helping this "Kaz" person.
  
  The Dark Knight was met by Dr. Terrence Thirteen, Ghostbreaker and Floyd Perkins, the kid who started this all in the first issue. Perkins had told Dr. 13 about finding a floor in the building that shouldn't exist, and bumping into an undead Humphrey Bogart. Dr. 13 in turn told Batman about his and Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen's running into the alien invasion, and through a space-warp into the Plane of Holes, where they met Darwin Jones and Bobo the Detective Chimp, among others. Dr. 13's memory was fuzzy after that, recalling that he had been returned to Earth by Albert Einstein, but decided to pick up the investigation again. Doctor 13 had brought a radiation detector with him, and when Batman had a look at the frequencies emitted from the GBS antennae, he recognized them from the earlier inscriptions! Dr. 13 had backtracked his detector's readings to their source, the moon...



• Space Cabby and his passenger had made their way to Earth's moon with a message from Alanna and Sardath of Rann. The cab was struck by an energy blast, and skipped roughly across the lunar surface. Mongul then lifted the downed space cab over his head and demanded, "You will explain who sent you, human, and how you discovered the rebuilt relay station. Answer quickly... or you risk the wrath of Mongul, Master of Worlds!"
  
  The narrator noted that without air to carry sound, it's understandable Mongul wouldn't hear a Boom Tube opening behind him...



• In 1943, Deadman/Blackhawk learned Enemy Ace had left Germany in 1933 after the Reichstag fire, and secretly resettled in Germany. Deadman possessed Enemy Ace to convince him all the alien lunacy was true, and the pair flew off together in Ace's World War I fighter against the space ship...



• Back in modern Metropolis, the Outsiders had been called to the Galaxy Building by Batman, but they stopped short to address the demons running rampant throughout the city in Superman's absence.



• Mongul on the moon shouted, "Lies, lies! You say you come from Rann with a message for Earth-- do you take Mongul for a fool?" From behind, Metron argued, "Only a fool would disbelieve an obvious truth, Mongul. Ergo, you are a fool." The merciless former monarch asked, "Who are you?" His reply came in two forms; physically being knocked over the side of a ledge, and verbally: "I am Lightray of the New Gods, Mongul. Hello... good-bye!" A third member of the New Genesian party, Orion, caught the falling space cab with the aid of his astro-harness. Metron noted that his calculations had led the heroes to this relay station, which functioned similarly to a boom tube and allowed New Gods passage through the disrupted Plane of Holes. The group had arrived too late, however, as Earth was doomed to be shaken apart by the already broadcast destruction frequency.



• On Earth, Kaz cursed Bork as his base began to erupt in explosions, Batman predicted the end of the world, and a whole building began to fall on the Outsiders...



• Left unmentioned: The fates of the rapidly dehydrating Aquaman and Zatanna.Mr. Mxyzptlk and his search for Superman. Adam Strange and Jimmy Olsen in the Nazi-conquered New York. The future involvement (if any) of Hawkwoman, Captain Marvel, Rip Hunter, Time Master, Dr. Kemeny, the Silent Knight, Green Arrow, Uncle Sam, Perry White, Robin the Boy Wonder, Captain Comet, Anti-Matter Man and Dr. Fate.



• "If This Is Love, Why Do My Teeth Hurt" was by Gerry Conway, Rick Hoberg, Dick Giordano and Arnie Starr. This was the tidiest, most descriptive issue to date, and even managed to work its gonzo title into the narrative (lovers kissing as the world begins to vibrate violently.)

Jemm, Son of Saturn #1 (September, 1984)

"Remember, my prince, that in the tiniest of seedlings rests the promise of renewed life-- and hope! Nothing is more precious than this! It is the reason why even the most vile men remain not untouched at the vision of a child!"
--from the teachings of Rahani

In a Harlem slum back alley, Luther Mannkin pretended to be a space ranger battling an octo-beast with his plastic laser pistol. The boy dropped his "weapon" and turned tail at the sight of a slender 6'6" half-naked red-skinned alien with a glowing yellow gem on his beetle-brow. "GRAMPAAAAA!" Inhumanly long fingers encircled the crying child in flight, then drew him in to face the alien. "Awe! It fills Luther's mind, silencing him. And then, from the weird pulsating jewel embedded in this creature's forehead... comes something bright and hot-- something that cuts through Luther's very soul."

Meanwhile, Luther's older brother Lincoln was assaulted on his way home from work by a knife-wielding mobster named Reginald. "...My boss, Mr. Claudius Tull, he financed your fancy dude education. He provided you with Grade A smack to sell for a profit! And you ain't paid the man back in over three weeks!" Reginald expected to collect by the following night, "...or the next time you fall, you won't never get up no more!"

Lincoln Mannkin wandered the streets, contemplating his troubles, until returning home at half past midnight. He was greeted by his worried grandfather, who hoped it was the missing Luther who was returning. Gramps wanted Lincoln to help find his little brother, but Lincoln swatted the blind old man's hand away. "You ain't never paid no attention to me before. It's always been Luther this an' Luther that... an' don't notice me never!" Gramps did care, but Lincoln was more interested in phoning his buddy Vin. "You ain't gonna call that scum, are ya? You ain't gonna bring that Vin back into this house!" He sure was, more concerned about saving his skin than his kin.

Lincoln left the apartment to conspire, leaving Gramps to his thoughts. "I've failed, ain't I, Lincoln? Even though I tried and tried. 'Course, bein' blind all my life, you never did look on me as a whole man-- someone you could turn to-- confide in. How could you? I can't provide for you. Lord help me, I can't even see the agitation in your face when you come home worried and scared. So here I sit in the dark-- knowin' only the voices of my two grandsons. One voice is full of hate, the other's been gone too long. Where are you, Luther? Where's my dear sweet youngest in this hellpit of a neighborhood?"

Back in the alley, the heat of the alien's beam subsided, leaving Luther and the being linked through the sharing of "their deepest, innermost emotions." Luther realized how frightened and alone the alien was on this planet far from his own. Luther pressed the alien to come back to his apartment with him, but the alien resisted. It made a gesture to allow itself a moment alone in the darkest recesses of the alley, then emerged wearing a cape...

"New Jersey. Only hours ago, U.S. Government seismographs in three states were awakened by an unusual disturbance here-- the impact of a plummeting craft from the stars!" NASA scientists Phil Wheatly and Deidre Johnson were sent inside to investigate with C.I.A. operative Charles Brigham Dade. Charles was on edge the whole time, fearing something bad might happen to his fiancée there. Deidre looked over a partially decipherable piece of writing she'd found that indicated a flight pattern from Saturn, while Dade studied a holographic portrait of a proud Saturnian family of three. Outside, the craft's entrance was guarded by a pair of troopers, until Willie and Sid were killed by a couple of towering monochromatic Saturnians. Deidre ran to the entrance to check out the scene, and was murdered by an energy blast. Wheatly and Dade were knocked unconscious, a metallic Saturnian noting, "Scan of ship interior reveals only human life-forms. Mission incomplete."

Gramps didn't quite believe Luther's excuse about getting lost, and was curious about the name of the mute foreigner who was supposed to have led the boy home. After taking in a bit of "Me Tarzan, you Jane" between Gramps and Luther, the alien gestured toward himself and said, "JEMM!" Gramps smiled, "Jim! Well, that's not so hard! Glad to have ya, Jim. Luther'll spread you a blanket on the floor. And tomorrow, we'll give you a proper introduction to Luther's brother!"

Dade awoke to find the corpse of "DEEEEEEIIDRE!" With both blood and tears flowing, Dade swore, "You never got to see your aliens, did you, hon? Don't worry. I'll find them. I'll find every last one of them.

The next evening, Luther hid Jemm before his brother returned home, intending on surprising him. Gramps could smell Vin with Lincoln, "just as clear as I can smell a roach." Lincoln lifted his hand to the old man again, and told him to keep his mouth shut until he and Vin could "greet" anyone Claudius Tull planned to send after him. In the bedroom, Luther figured he and "Jim" should lay low until Lincoln cooled off.

Hours later, Reginald showed, and Vin pushed a gun into his face. Regg didn't exactly wither at the sight, instead calling his own back-up, the towering honky called Bouncer. In seconds, the Mannkins' front door was off its hinges, Vin thrown against a wall, and Lincoln about to make a lethal plunge. Luther cried, "Don't you hurt my brother!" Jemm flew into Bouncer. "Regg! The red man! He hurt me, Regg! Bouncer don't like to be... hurt!" Bouncer threw bureau at red man. Lincoln "split while the splittin's good." Bouncer planned "never to be hurt... no more!" Mice and men, as a trapped Jemm was still able to lay Bouncer out with a beam from his gem. Reginald had seen enough, and exited with Luther in tow.

Gramps could hear "Jim's" labored breathing from the exertion of his energy blast; Reginald's heavy footsteps running upstairs; a threat from Bouncer; and Luther's screams. So could Jemm, who tossed the bureau and Bouncer through a wall to the street below, calling "LOOOOO-THEEER!" Jem flew through the hole he'd made up to the roof, where Regg held Luther at knifepoint. Either through a plunge of the blade or off the roof, Reginald would kill Luther if Jemm didn't back off. Gramps caught Regg from behind with his cane. "Ain't no way you're gonna hurt that child!" However, all three parties went over the ledge, Jemm only having the ability to rescue the boy.

"All is suddenly quiet on the street where Luther Mannkin lives. But within Jemm's head pounds the rhythm of worried blood pushing rapidly at his temples. Slowly, a red hand caresses tender brown skin. A feeling of deep helplessness wells within a mighty chest." Luther came out of his haze, only to pound at Jemm's chest, horrified the alien had let Gramps die. "There is sadness then. And hurt. And fear within an alien heart that the one friend he has on this strange world is a friend no more. But at the sight of Jemm, something stirs within little Luther Mannkin. He realizes that true heroes are never perfect. That sometimes, choices must be made. And when it came to choosing between saving Gramps and saving his only friend, Jemm chose his friend. Can Luther really blame him for that?"

Nearby, the Saturnian robots watched the sad duo begin to brave a world neither truly knew. "Unit RT-36Z58 reports sighting of Saturnian life-forms. Request preattack back-up units."

Beginning a new chapter in the epic story of the DC universe, brought to you by Greg Potter, Gene Colan and Klaus Janson.

DC Challenge #7 (May, 1986)

Previous issue writer Elliot S! Maggin moaned about how the confusion in earlier scripts was "multiplying exponentially issue to issue, so it was clear that it was time to bring some order to the chaos." He then went on and on about his love of Albert Einstein, who is not a copyrighted DC character, but who he had do away with all the other writers' subplots. "Paul, I effectively said, go forth and disassemble no more and you will be saved." He had imagined his Nazi story taking precedence, with Jimmy and Adam joining underground resistors like Ollie Queen, Uncle Sam and Perry White. Maggin then complained his follow-up writer didn't ignore the efforts made in previous issues to concoct an admittedly convoluted story by dismissing and hijacking it with one tale of his own devising, as he had done. Maggin wasted two columns of the letters section to defend his hack job, and another half went to his bio. At least he rightly called out Batman's otherworldly rescue being unnecessary.

• The Joker disregarded the Einstein "resolution" of last issue, reinstating the alien invasion, Aquaman and Zatanna's desert doom, the conflict on Rann, and the heroes trapped in a "nasty dimension of holes!" He then recalled the complications of Batman's freefall and the Nazi conquest of the world. Rip Hunter, Time Master and Dr. Kemeny's medieval adventures with the Silent Knight were forgotten, as was Captain Comet



• "The United Nations Plaza, New York City, 1986:" Nazis had conquered the world, and captured the reality displaced Adam Strange and Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen. "Obviously, Jimmy, the alien spaceship our little fuzzy-haired friend sent back through time accidentally with the Blackhawks fell into German hands-- and they used it to turn the tide... and win the Second World War!" Jimmy struck out at a commandant, much to Adam's chagrin, but Strange pressed the attack anyhow. Adam and Jimmy then used Strange's jetpack to escape, claiming a Luger along the way. From a nearby window, the pair were spotted by the aged Fuhrer, who wanted them in his clutches immediately.



• Batman was still in the jungle, presumably due to Zeta Rays wearing off, but with no Hawkwoman in sight. A phony demonic Robin the Boy Wonder had dropped the Caped Crusader into an active volcano. Mr. Mxyzptlk appeared from the Fifth Dimension to turn the lava into rubber. The imp was looking for Superman with no luck, but was nice enough to return the Dark Knight to the Batcave. Alfred had contacted him to inform that the code from the first issue had been cracked by the Batcomputer. Mxyzptlk vanished, leaving Batman wondering how his magical powers still worked on Earth.



• Elsewhere on the Eastern Seaboard, Plastic Man and Woozy Winks were on the aliens' case. It seemed the pair were from yet another Earth in the Multiverse, but Woozy's curiosity at a time/space warp hole landed them in this story. Plas went off to investigate the aliens, leaving Woozy to fall through another warp hole...



• On the planet Rann, the effects of the Zeta Beams must have worn off, or maybe it was all Einstein, sending Hawkwoman, Captain Marvel and Dr. Fate off-world. Sardath fretted about his world's lack of heroes to face the horde of monsters still present. No new Zeta Beams would strike Earth for days, but Alanna had a plan. While the aliens siphoned away Earth's magical and scientific energies, the opposite effect hit on Rann, intensifying magic to the point of manifesting mythological creatures. Alanna studied an occult scroll, and directed Rannian flyers to effectively halt the horde through magic. Space Cabby happened by, answering a beacon set by Sardath, and took for him vital information to Earth.



• Aquaman and Zatanna were still trapped in the Sahara Desert, lying flat on their bellies, roasting under the sun. According to the Sea King, all Einstein had done was send them "...from one desert to another... somehow!" The enchantress had no water to offer. "M-magic gone... all of it... from Earth...!" Suddenly, the Fifth Dimensional imp Mr. Mxyzptlk appeared, as though a mirage. "Say, you folks look parched! Have a drink! Anyway... I thought I could have a few giggles with all the trouble going on-- but everything's so screwed up that nobody even notices my pranks! And just try to find Superman in all this...!" Aquaman thought the aliens might have killed the Man of Steel, which appalled Mr. Mxyzptlk so much he teleported after them. Sadly, he neglected to take the stranded, but at least now rehydrated, Detroit Leaguers with him. "...Now we've got a longer time to wait to die..."



• Woozy Winks landed in the Plane of Holes, still inhabited by Deadman, who launched into a stream of fat jokes. The Anti-Matter Man, Darwin Jones, Bobo the Detective Chimp and Dr. Terrence Thirteen, Ghostbreaker were long gone. Woozy stumbled through yet another warp hole, Deadman followed, and the pair landed in WWII Nazi-occupied France. The Blackhawks were in the skies above, first fighting the alien spaceship, then pretending to escort it to draw Nazi anti-aircraft battery fire against the ship. Woozy cowered in the bushes, claiming to be 4-F. Blackhawk himself took damage, knocking him unconscious and sending his plane in a dive right toward Deadman and Woozy



• Plastic Man slithered aboard an alien spacecraft, where he eavesdropped on Dr. Xhytg giving a report to "the master," as preparations were made to implement the final plan on Earth. However, an invader dropped heavy packages on the disguised Plas, revealing the hero's presence. The master then turned out to be the Joker, and "I've got every last hero on this planet twisted around like a pretzel with their own problems! By the time they get unwound... it'll be all over except for the coronation! Mine!



• "Don't Bogart That Grape... Hand Me The Gas Pump" was by Paul Kupperberg, Joe Staton and Steve Mitchell

DC Challenge #6 (April, 1986)

• On his deathbed in 1955, Albert Einstein solved "der great mystery! Der concept of der Unified Field. I am now unbound by der reschtraints of time!" This gave Einstein extraordinary power over reality, but unfortunately, he seemed unable to correct his terrible accented dialogue.
• On the planet Rann, Batman and Hawkwoman wondered after Captain Marvel and Dr. Fate, even though the first pair's even knowing the second pair were on Rann was a bit of a stretch. Alanna was proactive, while her father Sardath became a real Negative Nelly. Batman, like the author, never clarified after repeated references that "Fate" referred to the Doctor, then stumbled into a warp hole. Hawkwoman went looking for Fate, Marvel, or at least her husband. The evil aliens in the distance were set on shooting her out of the sky.
• Around 6th Century England, the writer confused the Greystone Castle where Sir Edwin Kent once ruled with the family name of "Young Brian, son of our late lord, Grayson the Just..." Also, the writer confused "Greystone" with "Grayson." Anyway, Brian was finally being crowned king, at which point he intended to reveal that he'd secretly been the Silent Knight for years to his people... except Einsten wasn't having that...
• In the Plane of Holes, Deadman failed to possess the Anti-Matter Man. Albert Einstein then froze time, explained his new powers to Adam Strange and Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen, then assumed the role of deus ex machina in a bid by a really lousy writer to cheat the entire series into a premature wrap-up.
• Rip Hunter, Time Master, was showing his Time Sphere to a Dr. Kemeny as Princeton University in hopes of legitimizing his remarkable invention. However, the pair passed through a warp hole while on a temporal spin.
• Einstein brought Batman to the Plane of Holes "to make sure I could properly coordinate between planets dat are light-years distant!" Pull the other one.
• Einstein directed the temporally displaced Rip Hunter to don the Shining Knight's armor and assume the role. Rip did, and when he and Kemeny appeared at King Brian's coronation, the new lord thought, "Apparently this magical suit of armor that gave me great power and taught me the proper use of weaponry... has chosen a new master! Well, good luck to him, whoever he is!" Either the writer was trying to sneakily allude to problems with Einstein mucking about with time, or he'd never read a Shining Knight comic in his life, since the character's armor was neither magical nor responsible for Brian's abilities.
  
  Regardless, the terrible writer then had Hunter and Kemeny stay in the past for several years, during which they did not age, and acted as mostly-mute heroes. The pair spent the rest of their medieval holiday trying to fix the Time Sphere. Instead, Einstein eventually returned, and sent them to kill the minor demon S'thulum, who had previously tried to eat Captain Marvel and Dr. Fate. As Kemeny cautioned, "be very careful-- never to underestimate an experienced dragon-slayer!"
  
  Hawkwoman, Alanna and Sardath raced to the scene, even though the other heroes shouldn't have been on Rann anymore after being taken to S'thulum's realm. The writer, whose work I've always hated, concluded that he had ended "after years of training, the suspension of time, and the solution of the Unified Field Theory-- the longest-resolved cliff-hanger in human history!" Um, did the guy who wrote many of the lousy Superman stories that led to the Byrne reboot mean "unresolved?"
• Darwin Jones, Deadman, Bobo the Detective Chimp and Dr. Terrence Thirteen, Ghostbreaker were present for Albert Einstein's fixing of all the unresolved plot points in the series to date by shoving them into warp holes. Goodbye Uncle Sam, Aquaman, Zatanna, Superman, Captain Comet, invading aliens and all the rest!
• One problem: an alien spaceship beat the Blackhawks back to World War II. Because "I cannot change a time und a place vhen I vas alife," Einstein bailed on Adam Strange and Jimmy Olsen. This left the pair stranded in a present world dominated by the Nazi Germany.
• For no discernable reason, Einstein left Batman in a jungle, where negro savages attacked the Darknight Detectives with spears. Oy. Robin the Boy Wonder showed up on a Whirly-Bat to pick his mentor up, but turned out to be a demon in disguise, and dropped the Caped Crusader into an active volcano.
• "A Matter of Anti Matter" was perpetrated by Elliot S! Maggin, Dan Jurgens and Larry Mahlstedt

DC Challenge #5 (February, 1986)

• Outside Salem, MA, Dr. Fate saw chaos reigning on Earth, and sought to defend her.
• On Earth-S, their New York was also being invaded by aliens, as reported by Billy Batson for WHIZ Evening News. This looked like a job for Captain Marvel, but the magic word wouldn't work for Billy. Making his way to an abandoned subway station, Billy lit a mystic brazier to summon the wizard Shazam. However, the spirit was "dying," as magic was being sapped throughout the universe, and Shazam had no super powers to offer Billy.
• Back on Earth-1's New York City (or is it Metropolis? I'm confused,) the invaders prepared to publicly execute our alien heroes. Supergirl and Superman were helpless so long as a weird machine projected red sun radiation about them, so Jemm silently blasted it with his tikka jewel. "Good going, J'emm! Kara, what say we return the favor?" The Girl of Steel released the Son of Saturn, Manhunter from Mars and Starfire. Superman announced, "together, we'll show that these no-goods don't speak for all aliens!" The Maid of Might added, "When we're through with 'em, they'll be lucky to mumble!"
• In Los Angelas, Adam Blake meditated in his apartment, until Dr. Fate called for the return of Captain Comet.
• Adam Strange returned to Earth and an emergency equipment cache. However, Dr. Fate compelled Adam to miss his next zeta-beam to Rann, assuring him Alanna would be alright, and that his native world needed him more.
• "Meanwhile, the city of Metropolis plays unwilling host to the jackboots of an invading army... and finds itself liking the experience not at all!"
• "In a stately house overlooking that troubled town," Tabu argued for Peter Cannon to intercede. Peter initially protested, wishing to allow civilization to lie in its own bed, but his conscience got the better of him. Thunderbolt's "lithe figure in scarlet and blue" let out in a hurry.

• Dr. Fate could not take a direct hand against the "alien infestation," so the "Nile Necromancer" opened a temporal ankh that brought the Blackhawks to modern Metropolis. Even in World War II era planes, the Blackhawks were skilled enough to down several spaceships in a nighttime battle. Chop Chop grinned, "Good shootin', guys! We won't be able to tell their pilots from hamburger!" Once the Blackhawks were themselves shot down, they parachuted, guns in hand, back into combat.
• The aliens burned and trampled an American flag, invoking the wrath of Uncle Sam.
• In the city, aliens shot Thunderbolt with a "Pain Ray," but through force of will Peter Cannon fought through his agony. In the same area were Uncle Sam and the Blackhawks, all fighting the good fight. Then, a whole other batch of creatures drove by in a Daily Planet truck, delivering bundles of newspapers with the headline "Clark Kent Really Superman." Thunderbolt took this as just another bit of strangeness going around.
• Dr Fate flew to the Rock of Eternity. "Blessed Ohrmazd! Still the wizard lives!" The spectral Shazam knew Fate's master Nabu "eons agone," and hoped the Doctor could succeed him in death. "No, great one! A war is being waged, between out-worlders who wish to destroy all magic, and savage monsters who desire to master science! The former are the cause of your weakness! But I am come that you might have strength... strength enough to send your chosen one to battle at my side! Now rise!" The renewed Shazam felt "merely nine hundred!"
• Billy Batson was surrounded by aliens on Earth-S, so he used smoke bombs he'd found at the station, but still got himself shot with a ray gun. Before Billy could be finished off, Shazam's voice could be heard from the heavens, commanding the boy to speak his name. "A crash of magic lightning comes... changing Billy to mighty Captain Marvel," who made short work of the ground forces. The World's Mightiest Mortal then converted a highway tunnel into a giant butterfly net to capture their spaceships. Captain Marvel next flew to the Rock of Eternity, where he joined Dr. Fate for a trip to Rann.
• Adam Strange and Captain Comet teamed up to fight the aliens on Earth-1, until they were struck by a crimson beam. "The fabric in the curtain of reality abruptly frays, then reweaves, with the Man of Destiny and the Champion of Rann on the wrong side!" Landing in the Plane of Holes, the pair was greeted by Darwin Jones, Deadman and Bobo the Detective Chimp. Jimmy Olsen and Dr. Terrence Thirteen, Ghostbreaker were still unconscious when the Anti-Matter Man approached, threatening their destruction with the slightest touch. Warp-Holes that had surrounded the heroes vanished, as did the brief physical form of Deadman. Captain Comet couldn't control or even communicate with the threat through telepathy, and Adam's ray-gun was useless...
  
• Dr. Fate and Captain Marvel flew to the city of Ranagar, where Sardath and Alanna were among the citizens "caught in the middle of a conflict between the invading aliens and mystical demons!" The Big Red Cheese rightly figured he and Fate were perfect to fight the "magic-based no-goods," while the forces of Ranagar fended off the extraterrestrials. However, the demons chanted an incantation that opened a warp-hole to the Nether Plane. The tentacles of minor demon S'thulum seized the mystical heroes, who could not fight as it drug them through the hole, because S'thulum would devour their magical power...
• "If There's A Hole In Reality, Is Life A Cosmic Donut?/Thunderbolts And Lightning" was by Mike W. Barr, Dave Gibbons and Mark Farmer

DC Challenge #4 (2/1986)

• Director Darwin Jones of the Department of Scientific Investigation in Washington D.C. was trying, like the readers, to make sense of DC Challenge #1-3. Having borrowed Bobo the Detective Chimp from Sheriff Chase to investigate the chimpanzee's extraordinary longevity, he was pleasantly surprised when Bobo determined a pattern in the unusual instances that circled Metropolis. Just then, Superman arrived to enlist the DSI's analytical help, as it was too much for S.T.A.R. Labs. Bobo had to "chee" at Superman to remind him his JLA signal device was going off, as the Detective Chimp couldn't talk back then, and Superman was still rattled by the beating Mongul gave him. Jones and Bobo then set out for Metropolis.


• Aquaman: In the Sahara Desert, the Sea King was surrounded by pointy-eared aliens. "We will indeed end the 'menace,' Aquaman-- and you will be one of the most important tools we shall use! ...Just as we took knowledge of the JLA from your mind to 'borrow' their shapes-- we used your signaler to call your comrades! There are several among them who can be important pawns in our game-- for they are traitors to our cause! ...Some of your comrades are no more 'people' than I am, Aquaman! Your purpose is concluded, human. You are now irrelevant, and may prepare to cease existence."
  
  Martian Manhunter: "Whoever you are, you can't kill a Justice Leaguer that easily!" The Alien Atlas flew into the aliens line of fire, shielding Aquaman with his own body.
  
  Zatanna: Teleported with Martian Manhunter. "You didn't think we'd ignore our leader's summons, did you, cutie? Besides, I haven't been to Egypt for years, and the sight-seeing's great!" Zee tried to apply her sorcery to the aliens, but it wouldn't work. "The power of magic is no longer so great, woman-- and soon will be gone entirely!"
  
  Martian Manhunter: Screamed "AYEEEIIIII!" when confined in an energy cage projected from an alien's ray gun. Spirited away through a portal in the sky with the other extraterrestrials. "We will let you live to ponder that knowledge-- for we have the traitor now-- and although your powers may be sufficient to allow you to survive, you are, as we said, irrelevant. Hardly worth bothering to kill."
  
  Aquaman & Zatanna: "Huh???" Left to die in the desert, again.


• Batman and Hawkwoman hung from a branch on the side of a Peruvian jungle cliff, until Adam Strange lept to grab the same. The limb snapped, but as Adam had planned, the trio just fell into the Zeta-Beam to Rann that brought Strange there in the first place. On Rann, the heroes met with the Viking Prince, the scientist Sardath and his lovely daughter Alanna in an open field. The mythological monsters had followed a crystal Sardath had left the city with, so Hawkman and Hawkwoman flew to the defense (even though Hawkgirl lost her wings to a monster last issue, hence the falling.) To compound the insult to reader's intelligence, Superman showed up out of nowhere, though it was claimed he too had ridden the zeta-beam after following his JLA signal device to the jungle. However, a magical monster quickly hypnotized and captured the Man of Steel. Then those pointy-eared alien guys showed up to take the crystal from Sardath and use it to barter with the monster for Superman.


• Darwin Jones and Detective Chimp were in Metropolis on the Daily Planet's roof as an alien invasion began. Our nuclear missiles bounced harmlessly off their ships, although Darwin learned from a phone call to Simpson that in countries still in the dark of night, they were more effective. Invaders burst onto the roof Darwin was on, so he whispered a simple plan to Bobo. The chimp drew fire, as Darwin escaped down a staircase.


• In New York, Jimmy Olsen enlisted the services of Dr. Terrence Thirteen, Ghostbreaker to solve the mystery of dead celebrities haunting the Daily Planet.


• Metropolis: Bobo reunited with Darwin Jones, showing him the demons that were also invading, this group in the Planet basement. Radiation the pair seemed to pick up on the roof again passed between them. Bobo pointed to a matter transmitter the demons were using for transport, and convinced Jones to join him in passing through its portal. The demons who remained were printing a newspaper headline declaring Clark Kent was Superman.


• Before Olsen and Dr. Thirteen reached the airport, aliens conquered New York, even though Floyd also appeared to be in town. The aliens had Supergirl, Superman, Martian Manhunter, Starfire and Jemm: Son of Saturn tied to poles for a public execution. "The independence of this planet has ended! You are now to be a part of the Greater Galaxies-- and these aliens who have lived among you shall be the first to feel our justice! For having dared fraternize with you-- for pretending to live among you in peace-- these traitors shall die!" Jimmy Olsen couldn't help directly, so he guided Dr. 13 through another matter transmitter portal that had appeared.


• In an energy spewing limbo, Darwin Jones was beyond incredulous regarding Bobo's intelligence. Jones demanded answers from an inarticulate chimpanzee, just as Olsen and Thirteen fell on top of him. After introductions were made, an armed alien invader appeared. "We had not thought any Earthmen had the resources to invade the Plane of Holes-- you surprise us." The alien stunned the humans to sleep, but as he prepared to kill their "pet," Deadman leapt out of Bobo's body. Surprisingly solid, Deadman socked the alien, though his previous host took a hit from the ray gun...


• Previous issue writer Doug Moench noted the literal Hawkgirl/Batman/Adam Strange cliffhanger was resolved as he imagined. Moench imagined Aquaman would have saved himself by leaping back into the oasis pond and controlling the algae to form either a giant SOS or reflective surfaces to deflect lasers. On the matter of Alanna of Rann being left to fend for herself, Moench said "Paul blew this one completely! Hah!" Instead, Alanna should have used the Projection Device to reverse shrink and imprison the monster in the gem Viking Prince was just released from. Maybe that happened between panels?


• "Atomic Nights" was by Paul Levitz, Gil Kane and Klaus Janson.