Saturday, February 26, 2011

nurghophonic jukebox: "Teach Me Tonight" by Jo Stafford

Written By: Gene De Paul & Sammy Cahn
Released: 1955 (Written 1953)
Single?: A standard, released by many charting artists, for a highest rank of #2 on Billboard.

This was on one of the many "hits of the '50s" collections I got from my father. The De Castro Sisters scored biggest with it, but I frankly don't think that version holds a candle to Stafford's 1955 take, which made it to #15 on Billboard. Stafford's mature vocals offset the jailbaiting lyrics.

Did you say (that) I've got a lot to learn
Well don't think I'm trying not to learn
Since this is the perfect spot to learn
Teach me tonight

Starting with the ABC of it
Getting right down to the XYZ of it
Help me solve the mystery of it
Teach me tonight

The sky's a blackboard high above you
And if a shooting star goes by
I'll use that star to write "I love you"
A thousand times across the sky

One thing isn't very clear my love
Should the teachers stand so near my love
Graduation's almost here my love
Teach me tonight

I've played loves scenes in a flick or two
And I've also met a chick or two
But I still can learn a trick or two
Hey teach me tonight

I who thought I knew the score of it
Kind of think I should know much more of it
Off the wall, the bed, the floor of it
Hey teach me tonight

The midnight hours come slowly creeping
When there's no one there but you
There must be more to life than sleeping
Single in a bed for two

What I need most is post graduate
What I feel is hard to articulate
If you want me to matriculate
You'd better teach me tonight

What do you get for lessons
Teach me - come on and teach me
- teach me tonight

Here's a bonus version from Amy Winehouse, made back before she became a meth-head cartoon raccoon:

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

A Frank Review of "Maid in Sweden" (1971)

The Short Version? How you gonna keep 'em down on the farm once they've seen... Stockholm?
What Is It? Softcore Bore
Who Is In It? One-Eye; additional Swedes
Should I See It? No.

"Maid in Sweden tells the story of Inga, a 16-year-old Swedish girl who leaves her rural home to spend a weekend in the Swedish capital. An innocent with no experience, but with prodigious physical attributes, she has a series of romantic adventures as she throws off the frustrations of her small-town environment"

Twenty-one year old Christina Lindberg plays the repressed Swedish schoolgirl with overbearing parents who springs a visit on her independent sister Greta (Monica Ekman.) This pisses off Greta's live-in boyfriend Carsten (Krister Ekman.) Inga unintentionally shows a bit of tit on the train over, then spends the day with her sister. Inga, Greta and Carsten all hit the hash hukkah, then the deeply stoned older sister confesses that she's living in sin. Inga agrees to keep her mouth shut, then it's off to bed. Inga dreams of a couple screwing around in a hall, then two near rapes of her person, one sapphic. None of this is particularly titillating or believable. Inga finally wakes up to spy on her sister having completely unconvincing hippy freakout sex with her boyfriend while their static pelvises are in separate zip codes. Inga eventually returns to her room to motion in the general vicinity of her own genitalia.

The trio go ice skating, because what the fuck else do you do in Sweden besides get high, get laid, and attempt suicide-- all somehow involving god damned snow, hot chocolate, and the Aryan ideal. Carsten acts like a dick, giving Inga a hard time about being a goody-two-shoes. Carsten is convinced by Greta to hook Inga up with a date with his rapist buddy. Next morning, everything's hunky-dory, and we're off on another montage with a softcore porn Eurofag pop vocal score, with bonus bicycling. We're nearly an hour in, and that's all we have to show for it? Heil the hell long is this thing, anyway?

Nighttime is the right time for simulated "artistically" lit cunnilingus where you can't see anything. Sis is worried. Country rock montage walk through the woods. Sneaking back in. Dick boyfriend makes Inga call sis at work to say she's okay. Inga takes a shower. Inga sneaks out on her last night in town to fuck the date rapist one more time. She's a meaty old school Playmate and he's lean and firm for a dude, making for some awkward pauses as the viewer tries to figure out whose ass they're checking out. Inga sneaks back in. Dick boyfriend brings dick to bear against Inga, who accommodates all too quickly. Big sis busts them both in the bathtub. Inga is sent packing.

As I mentioned, there's some artistic posturing, but when the cameraman casts a shadow, craft goes out the window. The acting is bad in that way you only get when you force an entire cast of amateurs to read dialogue in a non-native tongue. Then again, maybe it was all ad-libbed from an outline, because the script couldn't have been longer that a few double-spaced pages. Even the sex scenes are incompetent, the bare minimum standard for this sort of drivel. Only the most die hard fans of Christina Lindberg's anatomy should get near this thing.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

nurghophonic distress #4: "Wannabe" by Spice Girls

Written By: Matt Rowe, Richard Stannard, and the Spice Girls
Released: 1996
Album: Spice
Single?: International chart-topping, record breaking, award winning smash hit.

"Chicks with a list of demands" is a subgenre of pop music that seems to inspire some men to domestic violence. I'm much more forgiving of the indulgence, especially when the songwriting is multifaceted. For instance, Sheryl Crow's "Strong Enough" is really a laundry list of the woman's personality defects and a sincere hope someone will love her through her bullshit. Alanis Morissette's "21 Things I Want in a Lover" is more of a grocery list of desirable attributes, but that doesn't feel so specific that a a professional matchmaker or Mister Sandman will have to bring a dream. TLC's "No Scrubs" may be the most famous example, and is it really so unreasonable to expect a fellow to bring something more to the table than noise when pushing up on full-blown hotties.

"Wannabe" isn't a terrible song because of the nature of the demands. The trouble starts when they tell you what they want... really, really want, about eighty-seven fucking times. I understand the act of talking things out is cathartic to women, no matter how very, very, very trivial the point may be, but men lose a little more of their spirit with each vague request. Just tell me one time what you really, really want, so I can decide whether to tuck it or book it, you indecisive, nagging cunts.

Next I must question the double standards. "If you want my future, forget my past?" Well, I kind of need to know those test results from the free clinic, and that indictment for identity theft makes me uncomfortable, frankly. I'm also wondering when you're going to stop passive-aggressively "teasing" me about my friendship with that one ex of mine. "Get your act together, we can be just fine?" You're the one who demands I "get with your friends," like you can have a relationship independent of some catty, bitter hive mind that never lets up with "what you really, really want," y'know? Also, excuse me, but can you get your fucking song together? I count two versus, one of which is sung by Eliza Doolittle, and a bridge consisting on an onomatopoeia. You can't just sing the same corny, sappy, sing-songy chorus four times and recite the same line five times for an alternating chorus that impacts like a wisdom tooth. That's actually the very worst thing: the fact that I will have "Wannabe" stuck in my head for no less than two hours after each exposure due solely to being beaten into submission by the sheer repetition.

Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna ha, I wanna ha, I wanna ha, I wanna ha, I wanna really
really really wanna zigazag .

If you want my future forget my past,
If you wanna get with me better make it fast,
Now don't go wasting my precious time,
Get your act together we can be just fine.

I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
really really wanna zigazig ah.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends, (gotta get with my friends!)
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.

What do you think about that, now you know how I feel
Say you could handle my love, are you for real
I won't be hasted, give you a try
If you really bug me, then I say goodbye

Yo I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna I wanna, I wanna really
really really wanna zigazag.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,(gotta get with my friends!)
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give, (You've got to give)
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,(gotta get with my friends)
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,(You've got to give)
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta, you gotta, you
you gotta, you gotta
Slam your body down and wind it all around?
Slam your body down and wind it all around.(ha ha ha ha)
Slam your body down and wind it all around.
Slam your body down and zigazig

If you wanna be my lover!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Wednesday Is Iconically Sparse For All I Care #96

Welcome to our first DC Comics stunt cover edition. I can't believe we've managed to go more than three years without one of these things.

R.E.B.E.L.S. #24
Shazam! #1
Steel #1

R.E.B.E.L.S. #24 (DC, 2011, $2.99)
Holy shit-- four recognizable team members on the cover, and every one of them get a feature segment inside. They even managed to squeeze in a member of the early cast, Tribulus. Okay, I swear that from now on I won't bitch about the old team members not being in the book, so long as these four consistently show up to the game (plus Captain Comet, preferably.)

There might actually be a legitimate budding romance between Vril Dox and Blackfire, and I wouldn't have minded it taking up an entire issue. As it was though, we really only got exposition and foreshadowing, rather than genuine conversation. It wasn't bad, and it doesn't take up too much space, but I mourn the missed opportunity. It's could have been like being a fly on the wall during that first date between Eva and Adolph.

For some reason, seeing Adam Strange's wife Alanna in lingerie feels kind of skeevy and wrong. It's like how it's okay to find Lois Lane hot in a sharp suit, but have her strip in an American flag bikini and you realize someone has swapped her out for Vicki "Valtrex" Vale. I have too much respect for the sanctity of Adam Strange's marriage to ogle his babymama, especially since he had to have bought that shit special from Victoria's Secret. Rannian fashion would have demanded nipple visors or floating hip rings or a fin down her crotch or something. Besides, it's still three pages of exposition tarted up.

Next we have Lobo taunting Captain Comet about Starfire's lovesauce fish funk, probably one of the best things to ever come up in this series ever. Adam Blake is such a '50s square about his situation, and I love it. Besides having the only "real" dialogue in a talky issue, this portion also leads to the only twists and forward momentum of the issue.

The issue ends abruptly at a point where one would typically expect a splash page opening rather than a closing. This is the first time I felt the two page price of drawing the line at $2.99. On the other hand, Claude St. Aubin's art looks as good as ever, so I'm glad the guy's getting cut a few days worth of slack each month.

Shazam! #1 (DC, 2011, $2.99)
For years, I have had a secret plan for how I would like to write the Marvel Family. It would involve murder, betrayal, Satanic sacrifice, tentacle rape-- just every fucked up thing possible as part of an epic maxi-series where the entire concept of doing "mature" stories about "The World's Mightiest Mortal" would collapse in on itself in a hale of internet Hoppy-the-Marvel-Bunny-beastiality, 2-Marvels-1-Cup schadenfreude shitstorm. Then from out of the muck would emerge a doe-eyed eight year old boy in his own innocent continuity, free from all the creepiness and the worst kind of forced integration, and a welcome relief to all the readers whose basest thoughts had been purged by the overload of sheer awfulness of what had come before. Also, Jesus Christ would descend from the heavens and give us back Mike Wieringo to draw stories about evil cartoon worms with tiny speaker boxes dangling from their necks. I say plural, because in this world, there's Mrs. Mind and an incorruptibly good Mr. Mind Jr. who shames the family name.

"Shazam!" does nothing to impede my secret plan. For some reason I don't know about because I don't read Judd Winick books, Freddy Freeman has long greasy white trash hair and is no longer handicapped. Mary Batson is a conniving little bitch. Billy Batson is as pointless a presence as Marvin in Super Friends. Freeman as Captain Marvel doesn't so much invoke a super-heroic Samson as a greasy teenage redneck's head superimposed on a well muscled body. Castoff Superman demoness Blaze is in this, because Jerry Ordway doesn't get enough blame for bad ideas like making her the Wizard's daughter. She gets impaled on a sword and electrocuted with lots of bloodletting, by the way.

I was downright kind to Eric Wallace when he killed off Ryan Choi, but at this point I'm officially tagging him as a bad writer. This entire story was a meandering hash of wretched characterization and a total lack of stakes setting up an upcoming story arc in a book no one with any self respect buys. The art by Cliff Richards is superficially attractive in a Mike Mayhew photo reference lightboxing kind of way, but he gets really cheap when he has to draw fantastic elements not easily traced from a magazine feature. Blaze is often merely an awkward stencil when the lighting would demand otherwise. The exclamation point in the title is like his prick and single nut waved in the face of aesthetics.

Again, allow me to thank the creative team for helping to maintain my messianic delusions of my perfect Shazam age not being able to arrive until the very worst Marvel Family comic books see print. They are the industry equivalent of the constant turmoil in the Middle East keeping up the spirits of Baptists.

Steel #1 (DC, 2011, $2.99)
I bought the original John Henry Irons "Steel #1" when it came out a decade & a half back, so I can honestly say that this rushed cash-in on a questionable event is still better than that first sour note. Chris Batista became a pretty good artist, but he was worse as a novice than Ed Benes' phoned-in work here. Unlike Louise Simonson and Jon Bogdanove, writer Steve Lyons never trades on any unintentional liberal white racism. This is just the simple story of the plagiarizing of another simple story of Daredevil an heroic also-ran doing everything in his power to stop the Hulk an unstoppable force and failing. Frank Miller probably would have had the literary integrity to have John Henry give his life to stop the unstoppable Inkypoo, but instead Irons just gets his ass beat while pursuing a vague goal (unless that goal was to heroically sacrifice himself) while playing with famous imagery to establish a money grab across multiple titles. No one really gets hurt, so it's violence and blatant swipes that are all in good fun.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Brightest Day Is Any Day For All I Care #95

Brightest Day #17
Brightest Day #18
Brightest Day #19

Brightest Day #17 (DC, 2011, $2.99)
Firestorm cover. Four pages of the interior, two a lazy spread, and none at all the following two issues. Fuck you, truth in advertising. Aquaman variant cover. No interior pages whatsoever. No water based lubricant, much less Vaseline.

Firestorm is in the anti-matter universe, so I guess the Anti-Monitor is going to cock things up before this is all over.

I couldn't understand what people were seeing in the Deadman strip, but this edition featured a luscious Dove and some Tuesdays With Morrie manipulative bullshit that worked just well enough to sucker me in.

The Hawks dominate this issue, and they appear to be feasting on their own entrails. There's a 1 1/3 page spread, a two-pager, a splash, and a bunch of three panel pages, but someone needs to explain to Ardian Syaf that none of it sells the scope of an epic battle if you never draw more than four figures and some abstract background elements. Between Hath-Set being dead and Hawkgirl's evil mother not being able to "act" through her featureless mask, I just keep thinking this should have been over with by now. Worst of all, there's a totally arbitrary "twist" at the end that will leave you... yeah, it'll just leave you.

Brightest Day #18 (DC, 2011, $2.99)
Captain Boomerang and Captain Cold are on the first page of this book for no reason but to allude to a storyline in The Flash and remind people the Boomerang has to show up at the tail end of this thing to fulfill some bullshit prophesy. It pisses me off, because Boomerang only shows up for a few panels every five or six issues for this purpose, because this whole series is pretty pointless beyond setting up the inevitable spin-off series. It's like DC Sampler as a maxi-series.

The second page is a series of panels acknowledging that, unlike the Martian Manhunter, the book hasn't completely dropped Deadman or Firestorm yet.

The third page is yet another splash by Ardian Syaf involving wonky eyes, wonkier tits (think Audrina Patridge,) and same three characters flying across purple skies as we saw all of last issue. I love how Star Sapphire, who I believe can transverse galaxies in no time, failed to evade an energy blast two assholes in strap-on wing easily outmaneuver. How about the part where the villainess chokes Hawkman instead of tagging him as she did Star Sapphire. I'd also like to know why a rock given by the Predator entity was able to defeat it when it went off on a tangent for no particular reason, and somebody should also remind me why that particular gift was given, and whether or not it was tacked-on to Blackest Night. Did anybody walk away from this having given a crap about Hawkgirl's evil mother? Syaf at least did some nice riffing on the Kuberts here and there.

Man, was that resolution with Deadman stupid left field, or what? Let's blatantly put some characters on the shelf, either until the end of this story, or for a follow-up series. God damn it! I'm tired of DC Comics lying to me about these yearlong event series.

52 was supposed to be a weekly account of a "lost" year of continuity involving the entire DC Universe. That's a pretty ambitious premise, and with four separate writers at the helm, I understand why it became essentially an anthology title starring a dozen or so C-listers. Countdown spent a year spoiling Final Crisis, and that whole "showrun by Paul Dini" shit dried up quick. I still don't know why Trinity took up so much space, beyond the "thrill" of seeing milquetoast Mark Bagley servicing the DC Universe before scurrying back to the warm, safe arms of Brian Michael Bendis. Speaking of whom, Marvel kept telling the big lie that Secret Invasion Siege or their next big project would be the culmination of everything creators like Bendis have worked on for a decade, in much the same way quesadillas have been building up in Quesada's belly. Geoff Johns has been playing with the same toys for five years or more, and when Blackest Night asked more questions than it answered, Brightest Day was supposed to finally be the real deal.

Two writers. Twelve characters. Twenty-five issues. One epic story. My ass. There is no way this shit was seriously planned out, and if it was, those involved are fucking incompetent. The title started out as a multitude of concurrent serials, and when that proved untenable, they switched one or two characters dominating and some subplots. Fifteen issues of this book were wasted building up D’Kay for a wimpy final battle in fantasy land before the Martian Manhunter creative team pissed off to take over Batman and Robin. The Reverse Flash, Jade, Hawk, Max Lord and Osiris were resurrected by contrivance because writers on other series wanted to use them for unrelated stories. Even the stars of this series are just spinning their wheels until the big finale and they get their solo books. Instead of inventing new life complications for Hawkgirl, how about explaining (or at least mourning) the existence of Kendra Saunders. Aside from commanding dead fish, Aquaman couldn't be more divorced from what appears to be the unifying plot. Martian Manhunter at least took a break from his lame arc to drag Green Arrow into this mess. Firestorm has had the most purpose with regard to the over-arc, but that's only amounted to retreading the zombie heroes of Blackest Days and twiddling thumbs until everybody else catches up. I think by issue eighteen, we can rule out all these disparate elements coming together in a satisfying, sensible conclusion. Instead, mark your calenders for the clusterfuck, where we'll learn who gets off the island and how many clues were just shell game distractions.

Brightest Day #19 (DC, 2011, $2.99)
I'm sure new readers are coming on three-quarters of the way in, so how about a recap of shit we know to well and some cryptic dickery from the White Lantern entity. Also, let's have Ivan Reis draw all of this issue, so he can overextend himself and have his art suffer for it at times. Of course, the rest of the time he's a four color orgasm, so slap my mouth and call me Mary.

I want to like the Aquaman story, but after all this wasted time, I can't get it up. I'm not sure if its worse if the "Aquawar" does or does not tie in to the over-arc. I'm just tired of the umpteen-jillionth variation on the "Atlanteans attack the surface" trope. Oh hey, how does a teenage boy living a seemingly unexceptional (if not outright sad) life who has just discovered aquatic powers managed to dominate experienced soldiers with comparable powers? I know we take for granted that aquatic bad guys are fish-stink pussies, but honestly, do you think you could take on more than a couple of Hydra troops at once?

There was an "oh shit" moment at the end of this issue. The correct answer is "new regeneration powers." That, or everybody gets their turn at being dust...

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Captain America Trailer (2011)

I'm currently watching Twin Peaks on DVD, and I have come to realize that between the first and second seasons, FBI Special Agent Dale Coopers goes from a brilliant Holmesian detective to a clueless tool of supernatural forces. Regardless, I continue to enjoy and respect the character, because actor Kyle MacLachlan brought such a unique energy and enthusiasm to the role. Had any other actor played Cooper, it would have been a completely different and likely diminished character.

Captain America is like Dale Cooper. Spider-Man is an everyman that can be pretty well personified by a wide assortment of nebbishy actors, and Batman stars the suit unless the actor gets in its way (Mr. Clooney.) With Superman, you can cast a "type" and pretty much be okay. Lacking real super-powers or a costume that translates to live action, yet being expected to command the actions of demigods and adoration of crowds, you need an actor with serious presence to pull off Captain America.

All the advance press on the new Captain America movie has shown Chris Evans, without the benefit of his Johnny Storm sarcasm, being "worn" by his underwhelming, anachronistic costume. Despite an impressive physique, Evans is just swimming inside this get-up and drowning in unmet expectations. Whereas every new piece of film validates Chris Hemsworth as rising to the challenge of playing Thor in a film that seems to hit the exact right notes, my expectations of Captain America keep sinking lower and lower.

The trailer shows the special effects guys have done a fine job of making Evans look like a 4F weakling, but then he pulls this steady Miley Cyrus duck face, and they stick him in some blatant CGI super-soldier pod with an '80s anime look. I don't care if we still don't have super-soldier pods in 2011-- I want a super soldier pod that at least has a 1940s aesthetic to buy into the fantasy. Put some fins on that bitch or something.

The pod opens and its like, "hot damn, that guy is ready for Chippendale's." Then he starts talking, and I'm again reminded that the vessel might have been enlarged, but the soul hasn't. Chris Evans is still just a dude in a bulky, awkward costume. He lifts that shield like a man-purse, and I'm like "whoa, you grab that chain like it was a direct line to the boredom center of my brain." It gave me a flashback to Tim Roth pumped up with the super-soldier serum in The Incredible Hulk. I saw that a year or so ago, and was like "Mr. Orange is rocking the grenade launching acrobatics like he's on an invisible jungle gym! I hope the Captain America movie can top this." Chris Evans isn't rocking anything. He's sort of playing hopscotch by himself on the lonely end of the sidewalk. He's cowering behind a shield while a limey skirt fires on him for giggles.

Any one of the ladies in Sucker Punch has bigger balls that Chris Evans, and Dum-Dum Dugan in the background of that one shot has more presence. The Captain America trailer is a half-minute history of World War II flying fail.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Ze Greatest Songs Of Mein Time #6: "Kick Him When He's Down" by The Offspring

Written By: The Offspring
Released: 1992
Album: Ignition
Single?: Radio-only in 1995

"Kick Him When He's Down" was the third track on the Offspring's best album, but I didn't hear it until after the mid-'90s dawn of pop-punk on a short-lived new wave/grunge/indie music station. I was working security alone at a sprawling auto center, and hearing the tune would inspire me to hop around in uniform like a spastic '80s club kid, or maybe Ally Sheedy's Breakfast Club character on a pixie stick high. It's a sad, shameless spectacle, but to this day the song gives me happy feet. It's a pretty simple tune about a guy dealing with a bad time and the worst best intentions of others. I definitely had my share of know-nothing authority figures/pseudo-friends play the same game with me, but I got a lot more out of my Lording over the Dance in an empty apartment/parking lot.

"Hey, you're a riddle," I say as I move aside
Like I really need your advice
But you won't leave it alone
Little men try but don't get a lot done
Living in sin don't move me either way
I get a feeling you're so vague
Like I said before
Little men come when anything goes

When the rain comes I sit home and pray
Make it all numb I wish it all away
All I really need is just somewhere to hide away
(Kick him when he's down)
Here alone I'll put up and fight
(Kick him when he's down)
Beat me all the way I'll take it all night
(Kick him when he's down)
Hey, don't worry, I'll get along home alright

Hey, everybody's supposed to be the same
So how come they're so lame?
It's like taking a fall
Keep on running back into that wall
Awake in a dream, get up and go to work
But I'm feeling like such a jerk
Like I said before
Little men come when everything goes


"Hey, you're a riddle," I say as I move aside
Like I really need your advice
But you won't leave it alone
Little men try but don't get a lot done
Living in sin don't move me either way
I get a feeling you're so vague
Like I said before
Little men come when anything goes

[Chorus w/ adlibs]

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

The Linkypeux of 2.2.2010

John Henry gave his life against the Inky Poo to prove a man could overcome a machine. Now I fight a losing weekly battle against the internet, so that my sacrificed time might save your own.



The Top 50 Songs of 2010: #10-1 (The Factual Opinion)
The Top 50 Songs of 2010: #30-11 (The Factual Opinion)
The Top 50 Songs of 2010: #50-31 (The Factual Opinion)

Too Many Movies: Hausu, von Trier's Epidemic & the Resident Evil films (The Factual Opinion)

Comic Book Blogs:
'Steampunk Palin' Comic More Insane Than You Imagined (Comics Alliance)
Illustrated Posters Reveal True Dangers of Soviet Union and Superhero Origins (Comics Make Me Happy!)
DC Owns? (DC Bloodlines)
The Creeper's Top 10 Covers (DC Bloodlines)
Plastic Man Postcard by Ethan Van Sciver (DC Bloodlines)
1984 Superman Postcard by George Pérez (DC Bloodlines)
1984 Green Lantern Postcard by George Pérez (DC Bloodlines)
1984 The Martian Manhunter Postcard by George Pérez (DC Bloodlines)
1984 The Elongated Man Postcard by George Pérez (DC Bloodlines)
2010 Wonder Woman XXX: A Hardcore Parody Trailer (Diana Prince: Wonder Woman)
JLA #83 (September, 2003) (Diana Prince: Wonder Woman)
Alessandra Torresani as Wonder Woman for Halloween 2010 (Diana Prince: Wonder Woman)
"Clea, the Mystic Maiden" by Basner, Plunkett, and Salmons (1977) (Diversions of the Groovy Kind)
1998 Unused Martian Manhunter Cover Art by Christopher Moeller (The Idol-Head of Diabolu)
1998 DC Direct Martian Manhunter Poster by Christopher Moeller (The Idol-Head of Diabolu)
"1967 Manhunter from Mars Movie Poster" (The Idol-Head of Diabolu)
Middletown Season 1, Episode 1: "Pilot" (The Idol-Head of Diabolu)
2010 "Manhunter" by Ajay Naran (The Idol-Head of Diabolu)
Koma Designs Martian Manhunter Resin Model Kit (The Idol-Head of Diabolu)
The Comic Reader #219 (September, 1984) (The Idol-Head of Diabolu)
Despero: The Greatest Stories Ever Told (The Idol-Head of Diabolu)
The Ten Most Important Martian Manhunter Adversaries (The Idol-Head of Diabolu)
Thunderbolts' Customs Despero Action Figure (The Idol-Head of Diabolu)
1990 Mayfair Games DC Heroes The Justice League Sourcebook: Gypsy (The Idol-Head of Diabolu)
1990 Mayfair Games DC Heroes The Justice League Sourcebook: Despero (The Idol-Head of Diabolu)
Back Issue #40 (May, 2010): “Foxy Lady: The Vixen” (Justice League Detroit)
1990 Mayfair Games DC Heroes The Justice League Sourcebook: Vibe - Deceased (Justice League Detroit)
Vixen: Return of the Lion #1 (December, 2008) (Justice League Detroit)
1990 Mayfair Games DC Heroes The Justice League Sourcebook: Steel - Deceased (Justice League Detroit)
The Lion of Hell (Justice League Detroit)
87: Fantastic Four #19 (Marvel Genesis)
88: Tales of Suspense #46 (Marvel Genesis)
89: Journey into Mystery #97 (Marvel Genesis)
90: Tales to Astonish #49 (Marvel Genesis)
91: Strange Tales #114 (Marvel Genesis)
92: Fantastic Four #20 (Marvel Genesis)
93: Amazing Spider-Man #6 (Marvel Genesis)
94: Tales of Suspense #47 (Marvel Genesis)
95: The X-Men #2 (Marvel Genesis)
96: Journey into Mystery #98 (Marvel Genesis)
97: The Avengers #2 (Marvel Genesis)
98: Tales to Astonish #50 (Marvel Genesis)
99: Sgt. Fury and his Howling Commandos #4 (Marvel Genesis)
100: Amazing Spider-Man #7 (Marvel Genesis)
Dynamic Comics #1, 1941 (Pappy's Golden Age Comics Blogzine)
Lars Of Mars in #10 and #11 (Pappy's Golden Age Comics Blogzine)
Jeep Comics #2, 1945 (Pappy's Golden Age Comics Blogzine)
The origin story of the Black Condor from Crack Comics #1, 1940 (Pappy's Golden Age Comics Blogzine)
The Golden Age Blue Beetle in Fox's Big 3 Comics #4 (1941) (Pappy's Golden Age Comics Blogzine)
Target Comics Volume 4 Number 1, 1943 (Pappy's Golden Age Comics Blogzine)
A couple of 1947 Bob Powell stories from Harvey's Green Hornet #33 (Pappy's Golden Age Comics Blogzine)
The Super-Hanukkah Song (Power of the Atom)
Thunderbolts' Customs Captain Atom Action Figure (Power of the Atom)
Wizard: The Comics Magazine #136: Ultimate DC (January, 2003) (Power of the Atom)
2010 Captain Atom Custom Statue by ~JokerZombie (Power of the Atom)

NUDITY (Not Safe For Work):
Model at Midnight: Emanuela de Paula (CelebSlam)
Francia Raisa | The Cutting Edge 4 Fire And Ice hdtv720p (2010) (Deep At Sea)
Charlotte Ross | NYPD Blue s10e16 hdtv720p (2003) (Deep At Sea)
Minka Kelly – GQ Magazine (US) – February 2011 (part 2) x2scans (DeepAtSea)
Romina Aranzola Shines Like Tropical Gold in Playboy (Egotastic!)
Erika Mitdank Flashes the Full Argentina (VIDEO) (Egotastic!)
Soap Star Vanessa Arias Bares All For Playboy Mexico (Egotastic!)
Elba Jimenez pictures from Playboy Mexic (Egotastic!)
Minka Kelly Revels in Her World's Sexiest Woman Glow (Egotastic!)
Olivia Wilde See-Through Bikini Underwear Redux (with Nipples!) (Egotastic!)
Maria Menounos Rings in the New Year With Lip Slip Wonderment (Egotastic!)
Johana Jimenez nude pictures (Egotastic!)
Playboy playmate Dorismar in Extremo Photoshoot (Egotastic!)
Jessica White topless pictures (Egotastic!)
Olivia Wilde pictures in FHM France (Egotastic!)
Sarah Shahi In Esquire (Egotastic!)
Minka Kelly Outtakes from GQ Photoshoot (Egotastic!)
Salma Hayek Red Bikini Pictures Take It To A Whole New Island (Egotastic!)
Abbey Lee Kerhsaw, i-D Winter 2010 (Finn's Place)
Trish Goff in Inez Van Lamsveerde´s & Vinoodh Matadin´s Stern portfolio book (Finn's Place)
Reka Ebergényi, The Room #12 (In The Raw)
Monica Bellucci, Photo magazine 12/2010 (Finn's Place)
Abbey Lee Kerhsaw, i-D Winter 2010 (Finn's Place)
Raquel Zimmermann, Purple naked. (Finn's Place)
Andrea Calle’s sexy new shoot for FBM magazine (hithiphop)
Dark Water (ponyXpress)
Liu Liu (ponyXpress)
melanie rodriguez (ponyXpress)
Merry Christmas from Susan Bernard, Miss December 1966 (The Thought Experiment)
Linda Vargas, Miss December 1957 (The Thought Experiment)
Miss October 1957, Colleen Farrington (The Thought Experiment)
Sheralee Conners, Miss July 1961 (The Thought Experiment)
Delores Wells, Miss June 1960 (The Thought Experiment)
Tejal Patni for Splash Fashions (Touch Puppet)
David LaChapelle shoots Milla Jovovich, Brandi Quinones and Marie Powell for November 1995 issue of The Face. (Touch Puppet)
Li Bingbing by Max Vadukul (Touch Puppet)
Pierre Dal Corso shoots Daniela Freitas for the Undress Me editorial in the latest issue of BAMBI Magazine. (Touch Puppet)
Katy Perry for Rolling Stone Magazine (Touch Puppet)
Tina Patni x Diva Models Marionette Calendar (Touch Puppet)


Blog Archive


Surrender The Pink?
All books, titles, characters, character names, slogans, logos, and related indicia are trademarks and/or copyright of their respective rights holders.