Die Cosmic-Ranger Nr. 3 (1985)

When I travel, it's always nice to find foreign editions of American comics in their shops. DC and Marvel are pretty easy to come by, as are licensed IP, and I can often find something from a mini-major like Image/Dark Horse/etc. But something more obscure-- older and more nostalgic-- or especially something with a personal connection? That's a rare prize. So imagine how pleased I was to find an artifact of one of my all-time favorite comic series, and one of the few long-running titles that I've retained a complete set of? When I visited Chicago for the first time, hitting both their major con and some local shops, I was bummed that I couldn't find much of anything from the greatest local publisher the Windy City ever had, First Comics. And of course what I most wanted to find was something related to John Ostrander & Timothy Truman's Grimjack. So of all places and things, how about a beat up digest edition reprinting 1984's GrimJack #1 in Cologne, Germany instead?

Condor was the regional publisher of such properties as Spider-Man, Sesame Street, Tom & Jerry, Mad Magazine, Looney Tunes, Pink Panther, and The Hulk, among many others, including regional fare. They did a fair amount of second hand licensed stuff from Dell/Western/Gold Key, and in fact I almost got a digest that combined Magnus Robot Fighter with Buck Rogers ('79) material. They also dabbled in some Eclipse and Charlton stuff, like DNAgents. Still, one of their deepest reaches has to be a digest series devoted to the comic book adaptation of the stage play Warp. The title ran for 19 issues and a few specials in the States, and the German reprint made it through much of that material in the first two digests. The third and final one got a bit creative, starting with Warp Special #1: Chaos: Prince of Madness, the first reference to the pan-dimensional city of Cynosure, the setting of Grimjack and the main connective tissue between the diverse First line. Then we slide into Lord Cumulus vs. Sargon Mistress of War!

Then we pivot to Grimjack, who is also inserted into a Warp collage on the cover. Like First Comics themselves, Condor were probably recognizing the limitations in Warp, and pursuing the much longer-lived adventures of a scarred mercenary. They could have easily threaded the strips from Starslayer into this reprint series, but they jumped right into doing the first full issue instead, with a two page text piece on John Gaunt besides. The book then closes, sadly forever, on an Ostrander-scripted Sargon back-up from Warp #5. Maybe things would have turned out better if the series had led with Grimjack, but the solo ongoing had just started late in 1984, so there probably wasn't enough material banked or demand identified until it was too late. I'm just glad I managed to tumble on the sole edition with the Grinner. And hey, bonus Indiana Jones ad!

DC in Germany

• Aquaman in Top Comics Wassermann Nr. 108 (1970)
• The Atom & Aquaman in Superman-Batman Heft 8 (April 1976)
• Martian Manhunter in Superman Sonderausgabe #6 - Superman gegen Mongul! (1981)
• Wonder Woman in JLA - Die neue Gerechtigkeitsliga #31 (1999)

2023 FAN EXPO Chicago The Rocky Horror Picture Show Brad Majors Commission by Andrew Pepoy (signed by Barry Bostwick)

Let me just say that I underestimated Andrew Pepoy. I sort of recognized the name, quick research indicated that he currently mostly works in an Archie style, and I thought that would be quite keen on uptight preppie nerd Brad Majors. I talked to him in Chicago, he was up for it, and turned in a neat, surprisingly detail-oriented take. In the two years since, I've seen his name attached to all sorts of projects, very capably inking some high caliber pencillers (Ivan Reis, Gene Ha, Tom Raney, Phil Jimenez) and demonstrating a range of illustrative styles on his own. I wouldn't change a thing about how this particular piece turned out-- it's perfect-- but I wanted to put respect on Pepoy's name, now that I know better.

I didn't realize when first seeing Barry Bostwick in Rocky Horror that he'd already been a presence for most of my lifetime collecting comics, via a previous artistic rendering of his character Ace Hunter in print ads for the movie Ultraforce ("Deeds Not Words.") It was a very toyetic Mad Max riff, but the dud was not a notable part of my '80s weekend afternoon UHF TV watching. My main Bostwick delivery system was actually the sitcom Spin City, which I watched first run in the early seasons, more fully in syndication, but pretty much not at all after Michael J. Fox (mostly) retired from acting. Bostwick played the mayor Randall Winston in the nominally political city hall-set show. I also kinda ran into him at a convention in 2015, when he approached the comic writer Peter David while I was interviewing him, because PAD's wife had won a charity auction for a signed pair of his briefs. Houston's Comicpalooza hosted a bunch of Rocky alumni that year, the 40th anniversary, and I'd just seen Barry at a panel with Patricia "Magenta" Quinn and Little Nell of "Columbia" fame. Dr. Frank-N-Furter himself, Tim Curry, was also signing at the show. He'd had a stroke, and looked like he was having a rough time of it. I felt icky about him being wheeled out like that, and anyway, I hadn't started doing the art commission/celebrity autograph thing yet. Now that we're at the fiftieth anniversary, and I've at least got the starring couple sorted out, I mourn for a missed opportunity that quite likely won't come around again.

But back to Barry Bostwick, he came off as such a sweetheart while chatting with Peter David that it reminded me of his turn as the amiable mayor. When I brought the Pepoy piece up to him in the Windy City, that held true. He seemed to like the art produced for his character, and was quite cordial overall. After the carnival of the Sarandon booth, it was a relief to just be able to have a nice moment with a good guy that had made a solid dent in the pop culture landscape. I still really wish he'd been available for Shock Treatment, though. I think he could have killed it in the dual role, but I'm sure he considers that a bullet dodged.

More Art Monday

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2023 FAN EXPO Chicago The Rocky Horror Picture Show Janet Weiss Commission by Brandon Peterson (signed by Susan Sarandon)

This year marks the 50th anniversary of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, a favorite movie of a lot of people, myself included. My initial exposure was in the early '80s, seeing the movie poster at one of the AMC theaters in Houston. I saw those blood red lips against a pitch black background and the word "horror" in the title, and figured it was too scary for me. We weren't properly introduced until 1990, when the 15th anniversary prompted the first VHS release, which my father rented for my half-brother and I. Before that, it had a lengthy afterlife as a midnight movie in theaters, but had not ever previously been made available for home viewing. Despite my little brother and I being confident heterosexuals (that's a Rustlers' Rhapsody reference-- calm down,) we were still comfortable enough with our sexuality to prance around to "Sweet Transvestite" after multiple consecutive viewings. I dubbed a cassette of the original soundtrack off my father's CD, and my brother bought the newly commissioned Caliber Comics movie adaptation (including lyrics sheets that I would largely memorize with repetition.) I caught at least one live showing with friends at an ornate old Bellaire movie theater while dressed as a no-budget Riff Raff, but opted to be secretly de-virginized rather than brave a stage outing. As a bonus, the full "Super Heroes" sequence that was held from the VHS was in that print. I've experienced the movie live quite a few times since, brought in my own virgins, and have bought the majority of every-five-years disc pressings from its first hitting DVD in 2000. I was never going to join a live troupe or anything, but I'm fairly well versed in and quite affectionate towards Rocky Horror.

In 1990, I already knew Susan Sarandon from The Witches of Eastwick at minimum, but she was in a lot of stuff that I'd have at least brushed against, like Bull Durham and White Palace (the latter more from trade coverage, as I was a big fan of Premiere magazine.) I was thus primed for Thelma & Louise (Geena Davis certainly helped,) but I can't say that as a young man that her tendency toward older-skewing dramas kept my attention. She was still a familiar Hollywood figure, plus her politics became somewhat notorious, though I've drifted in the same direction the older I've gotten. She took a stupid amount of heat for an improbable sway that supposedly led to the 2016 presidential results, probably from a lot of people who liked blaming women for a rot that has yet to be properly addressed in this country, including the implied misogyny that fingered her in the first place. Whatever-- no one can take away Sarandon's extraordinary acting career, and I'm a fan of her work.

As with Sigourney Weaver, I was finally spurred on to begin collecting commissions featuring the Rocky Horror cast by the recognition that the odds did not favor my getting another chance to meet an actress of that caliber. Ironically and as kind of a bummer, numerous members of the cast were at a local con in 2015, the year before I started doing this sort of thing with Aliens. Sarandon was one of only two such actors in Chicago when I visited a couple of years ago, and I'm not sure waiting eight years (with performers now pushing into their 80s) qualifies as better late than never, but it's still a major luminary to check off in the bid. The actual mechanics weren't much to speak of, though. The actress was available for signings intermittently throughout the weekend, which was better than the very few chances with an extremely huge line involving a tiered preference system (glad I sprung for a V.I.P. pass) that left a lot of Ripley fans disappointed. I just had to brave a medium-long line and a few tries before finally making it to her booth. This being the 2020s, there was a whole tent system to prevent anyone from snapping a picture from afar, and also a plastic partition to prevent transmission of COVID. It was kind of like interacting with a bank teller with a Cone of Silence engaged. There were a lot of utterances of variations on "what?" and some general befuddlement, but I did eventually communicate that I was getting a signature on an original piece of art, and to please be judicious in signature placement. Also, in the moment, I gave up on getting a sloppy lipstick red sig in favor of pale pink, which suited the character of Janet Weiss, and assuage my fear that I might get my first and only Brandon Peterson piece mauled.

I'm not entirely sure that Sarandon found the likeness flattering, but I think Peterson did an extraordinary job representing the actress. A lot of folks I get work from freeze up at the thought of being beholden to accuracy, and I assure them that I only need the character, but I have to admit that it's a bonus when you can 100% recognize the actor's face, without it being a slavish photocopy. I especially love the dark (maybe mad) eyes, and the crazy amount of detailing in the hair. The "DAMMIT JANET!" is the cherry on top, and I have to say that I really like his hand-coloring, as well. I can't wait for another opportunity to get something else from Peterson, and I really hope that I still get a chance at a Frank-N-Furter, while that's still a possibility.

2019 Connecticut TerrifiCon The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr. Professor Albert Wickwire Commission by Rafer Roberts

Follow me down this rabbit hole. I started doing the Aliens 30th Anniversary commissions because much of the cast and many notable creatives were gathering at a local con, I for once was interested in collecting signatures/chats from celebrities, and Aliens remains a favorite movie/franchise. That was such a great experience that I started casting about for other subjects to replicate it. I landed on another all-time favorite, George A. Romero's Dawn of the Dead, which has dwarfed the Aliens one in scope, and has also been rewarding. 

So I ventured further... with mixed results. I'm not as motivated to go to conventions for stars over creators, and I need a piece at the ready to get signed by said star, and most of the things I like aren't popular enough to get big gatherings, so it's all collected piecemeal. Then my interest in blogging and commission waned, COVID deferred everything, and inflation/gouging really went nuts thereafter. With exceptions, I'm not so sure that I want to do this sort of thing anymore, especially because the bigger the star, typically the worse the interaction or value overall. 

Having said that, this was still a crazy ass commission. Basically, I'm fond enough of a '90s TV weird western to start a podcast about it, but only get four episodes out. I'm also enough a fan of the character actor Bruce Campbell to want a commission of him, but I thought Ash Williams would be a tired subject, with Bruce and I both preferring the unsung Brisco County, Jr. That said, Campbell was also technically Darkman, so I have that option covered. I still want a Brisco, but the piece got increasingly complex, as I realized that I wanted him featured with his partner Lord Bowler, and probably his horse Comet. Heck-- maybe even his arch for, John Bly. Because you see, Julius Carry and Billy Drago have both passed on. Hell, even if any of the five horses that played Comet are still around, what am I gonna do, get a horseshoe stamp? So that would be a complicated piece, certainly a mail order deal, and I've yet to figure out the right artist. Expanding further, I've never noted Christian Clemenson announced at any show, but I think maybe Kelly Rutherford has, just not any that I've been to. But see, I did gather a bunch of reference, and I had it with me on a road trip through Eastern Canada and the U.S. seaboard, including two comics conventions. 

I handed a batch of that reference to Rafer Roberts, who'd drawn The Human Falcon for me the previous year, and he picked Professor Wickwire to draw. Now see, he was played by John Astin, most famous for being the first actor to play Gomez Addams, but I knew and loved him best as Buddy Ryan, Judge Harry's estranged father on Night Court. He's great in most stuff, and I certainly dug him as Wickwire. It's just... he's 95 years old, he retired from public life before I got this piece, I've never heard of him doing cons, and he most recently trended on social media as someone everybody thought had already died. Wickwire doesn't even have the distinctive Astin mustache! Why did I get this!?! Well, because it's a darn nifty piece of art, and I was really glad Roberts included The Orb, the main component that put the weird into the western. Anyway, I sat on this piece instead of showing it all these years because... I'm a bad patron, clearly. I mean, I don't like my odds at scoring a signature from Brisco County, Sr., y'know? What was I waiting to get done?

Rafer Roberts

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2023 FAN EXPO Chicago Howard the Duck Beverly Switzler Commission by David López (signed by Lea Thompson)

I'd always wanted to visit the Windy City (The Blues Brothers is a lifelong favorite,) was hot to get commissions again after COVID restrictions cooled, and there were also a bunch of artists and celebrities that I was interested in at FAN EXPO Chicago. One of my first VHS rentals was Howard the Duck, which I adore because it's such an... odd duck. Others will pick at its flaws, but I was instantly smitten with its offbeat approach, Thomas Dolby soundtrack, the surprisingly good special effects (smirk at the suit if you must, but not the Dark Overlords of the Universe,) and of course Howie's best girl Bev. I'm not sure whether I had yet seen Back to the Future, but it was this movie that made me first take note of Lea Thompson, who would become a forever crush through her continued work on BTTF, the frankly traumatizing AIDS panic comedy Casual Sex?, and just under a hundred episodes of the NBC sitcom Caroline in the City. I'd been using art commission as a rationale to meet celebrities since the Aliens 30th Anniversary project, so why not do the same for Lea via Bev.

I only had a few months to plan for the trip, and would have get most of the commissions at the show itself, which put time pressure on. Out of the artists attending, I figured the best bet for this one was David López, who I knew best from the DC Comics run of Fallen Angel by Peter David (who eventually moved it to IDW.) That was a rather dark and moody series, but in my research, I came to appreciate his run on Captain Marvel especially. He was able to offer waterpainted color, which meant a seriously warped piece of paper that proved difficult to scan, but also a wonderful array of colors and tones. You might not believe me, but my favorite part is the hip '80s geometric patchwork on the shirt. He may have ultimately regretted that choice, because he had to commit to the bit across a lot of long-sleeved material, but you couldn't tell by the finished outfit.

I never asked for or expected a likeness, which is a prospect many artists find intimidating. I only ask for them to render the character in these circumstances, which he did very well... but that cleavage was a surprise. In retrospect, I maybe should have given him reference from the Kyle Baker movie adaptation, rather than just photos from the flick, because this was certainly... supple? And then the shy comic nerd with the forever crush also had to work in an explanation to the artist that I didn't mean for her to look like she was painted on the nose of a WWII fighter plane. I do not think that I managed all of that very well, and the encounter was ultimately more awkward than I'd hoped. Ms. Thompson was pleasant enough, but I'm not sure that she knew what to make of me and/or the art. I can't even say "nice piece" without it coming off as catcalling.

2023 Fan Expo New Orleans Darkman Commission by Derec Donovan

If I remembered to ask Derec Aucoin why he changed his last name to Donovan, I don't recall his answer, but that was how I was introduced to him in R.E.B.E.L.S. '94 #2 (I'd technically seen a few of his pages in Green Lantern #55, but didn't take note of him there.) I'd decided to try all of the DC Zero Month comics, and had not taken the art on the first two (#0-1) issues well, but this new guy really impressed me. R.E.B.E.L.S. ended up being an excellent if too short run that I still highly recommend, and remains the artist's second longest stint in a 30+ year career (he did 17 issues of Adventures of Superman with Joe Casey after I'd closed my comic shop and avoided anyone else's.) After that, it was catch as catch can, between some stories in DC's Showcase and Secret Files & Origins books and fill-in work. I'd abandoned Marvel Comics by that point, so I mostly appreciated his progress from afar on titles like Bug, Quicksilver, a Venom mini-series, and the adaptation of an ill-fated animated TV series, Avengers: United They Stand. I've done some back-filling to rectify, like working on a set of his Youngblood run, but Derec Donovan (as credited beginning around 2004) has mostly remained an artist that I wanted on series that he didn't work on, especially in the late '90s at DC.

My frustration at not getting Donovan drawing stuff that I wanted to see him do contributed to my driving from Houston to NOLA for a comic convention. We missed most of the first day, but since he was a top priority, I'm confident that I sought him out during the hour or two we had left. I told him all about my appreciation of his work, and wanting to get something special from him. The director Sam Raimi was also at that con, and I'm a big fan of his 1990 movie Darkman (less so the franchise, but it has its moments.) The cool thing about Darkman is he's not Ash Williams, so Raimi and friends see him fractionally as often, but virtually anybody from the Evil Dead trilogy had a hand in Darkman (even Bruce Campbell played him in the closing moments of the movie.) I don't recall if I specifically wanted Donovan on Darkman, or if it was his choice out of several options, but I knew he'd do something cool.

I can't recall which day it was finished, but the artist ultimately provided me with a glorious 11x17", full painted color, cover quality image. The horrifically disfigured Peyton Westlake, wrapped in gauze and theatrical guise as a brutal vigilante seeking revenge from those who ruined his life. We see Darkman swinging from a crane hook, strongly recalling the final set piece from the first film, where our anti-hero danced across girders on an unfinished skyscraper. No offense to the other creators who've tried to do Darkman justice in four colors, but this is the Darkman comic book that we always wanted and never got! Besides the dynamic pose, attention to costume details, and appropriately deep shadows, I love the deep reds and orange of the swirling inferno that the man of many faces battles against. Honestly, it was simply to beautiful to marr, so all the celebrity signatures are on the back. Like I said, I got the piece to be signed by Sam Raimi, and I probably did get it back on the last day, because I was simply too tired to take it to him before heading back to the H on Sunday. It took me a few tries (who could guess the Army of Darkness director's line at Texas Frightmare Weekend would be huge?) but I finally got Sam and his doctor consultant/co-writer brother Ivan Raimi in Chicago later that year. Both men added Darkman-specific personalization, so I'm curious what Ted will come up with when I send it his way?

Finally, Derec Donovan also provided me with three sheets of thumbnails for the design, which I don't figure rates scanning, but it's still a neat extra. Also, I forgot to mention that I actually got two works from the artist in New Orleans, so this one might not have even been started until Saturday? Click that link below. I haven't gotten around as much in the years since, but I know I haven't gotten my last convention piece from [D]!

Derec Donovan

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2023 Dawn of the Dead Charlie Peters as WGON-TV Crew Member Fan Expo New Orleans Commission by Ian Chase Nichols

Alternate identifiers include: Bearded White Collared Shirted WGON-TV Crew Member Who Gives Foster Bunny Ears. I got this after my only trip to Living Dead weekend to date, and Charlie Peters wasn't there besides, but hopefully next time. I love it when artists offer word balloons. I'm always first and foremost a comic book guy, and this makes the project that much more comic-bookey. Excellent attention to detail, like the sweater design and badge, and an abundance of personality. I dug this piece, which is why I was happy to get a second!

Ian Chase Nichols

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2019 Dawn of the Dead Fandemic David Early as Sidney Berman jam by Adrian Nelson

Twenty-two years ago, I had the opportunity to attend San Diego Comic Con, which spoiled me for not only conventions, but for life as a comic shop retailer. I had such a blast on my meager personal funds and through the generosity of others that I realized that I didn't want to commit to continued impoverishment. It took a couple years to come out of a depressive state, make that realization, and fully act upon it. I still struggled in the aughts, and certainly had my lows, but I never truly regretted that decision. It was the right call.

In 2010, while visiting a comic shop during a work break on a job where I was making something like twice what I had at the comic shop, I saw a flier for a local convention called Comicpalooza. I wasn't exactly flush, and we only managed to make it to one day of the show, but I picked up several of my first ever art commissions that day. I was so excited by the prospect, and thoroughly hooked. The following year, I giddily pounced on the second full scale Comicpalooza (the very first show in 2009 was a piddly thing outside a mall movie theater, so I don't count it.) I had carefully vetted all the artists announced for the show, and shopped for new art accordingly. Adrian Nelson was not among those who had been advertised, merely sitting at the table of one who was, but I liked his samples and took a shot. The result was my first Bloodwynd piece.

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The following year worked out much the same, with my stumbling upon Nelson as he sat with the Austin collective CCP Comics at the ill-fated Space City Con. This show yielded Malefic, and I felt bad by messing him over by showing up a day early to pick up his intended color sample of Ma'alefa'ak. Sorry, Adrian.

I think Nelson dropped out of shows for a couple years to work on some commercial art projects and try to develop his own comic for publication. When he turned up at Amazing Houston Comic Con in 2015, I made sure to include him in a friends of Martian Manhunter jam featuring Glenn Gammeron. That turned out swell, and when I needed someone to pull together the J'Onzz Family Portrait Artist Jam, he came through for me again on the Martian deity H'ronmeer. The next year, I was singularly focused on gathering pieces for the Aliens 30th Anniversary reunion at Comicpalooza. I had intentionally avoided artists from whom I'd previously acquired commissions for this project, but with the deadline looming, a reached out to Nelson on Twitter as someone I knew I could rely on to deliver a home run Private Ricco Frost. We met up at a McDonald's parking lot, and chatted for a bit. He wasn't doing shows that year either, as I recall working on something of a vanity project for a well-heeled foreign patron. Not sure if anything substantial ever came of that, but I sincerely wished him the best.

Work In Progress Sketch


In 2017, I reached out to him again for a project via Twitter, this time a banner for the Rolled Spine Podcasts blog. I don't recall if Mac had designed our logo yet after a couple of misses soliciting letterers, including one I still bear ill will toward when I see him credited. I had a complicated idea for the banner, and I think it may have overwhelmed Nelson, but he also had a lot going on in life. I don't know which con we met at in 2018, but I finally decided to get a piece of the super-obscure Martian Manhunter villain The Osprey. Like the Ricco Ross piece, this was a take-home, something I generally avoid. I knew Nelson would make it worthwhile though, and I really liked his initial sketch.

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Nelson disagreed though, and halted work partway through. He said "Sorry, man. I've been making sure I give each commission a bit more because I feel like I'm turning a corner in my style and the pressure of wanting to "wow" people is really in my head." He started again, and sent me the work in progress. "I want to change what I originally put down. I sat with it and then it stopped working for me. Also, I finished the second issue and that was another reason. I'll scan it once I have it at a stage I think you can really see what I'm doing."


I didn't hear from Nelson again that year, but I saw him for the last time in 2019 at Fandemic. That year, I had begun work on a series of piece related to George A. Romero's Dawn of the Dead, with the intent to have the pieces signed by the actors that portrayed the characters. There were also a variety of technical people available, so I thought I might do a jam piece of actors that were no longer with us and include them there. David Early had portrayed the talk show host Sidney Berman in 1977, and appeared in many other genre favorites before his death in 2013. Nelson offered him a memorial rendition. Later that year, Nelson reached out to me on Twitter with another work in progress...

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"I decided to do a new one again since I didn't like what came before. I've gotten a bit more comfortable with my traditional stuff now. it's almost done, I just wanted to update you and find out when you want to meet up to get it." Unfortunately, my car was totaled in a flood, so I wasn't meeting anyone for the immediate future. Once I had that sorted, he was without a car while his wife was helping her mom recover from surgery. Early the following year, we went on vacation to the U.K., and then I was busy attending my final convention of 2020 in February. That was the same month as Nelson's final tweet, related to a Paypal plea. "I've recently fell ill and could use help paying for some of the now weekly trips for treatment. Any amount will help. Thank you!" I think we all remember how things went that March, and I was pretty disconnected from everyone but my most immediate circle for quite some time. I never considered Nelson's absence, even though we occasionally liked and retweeted one another. I was doing research for a podcast today when I stumbled upon a tweet from Antarctic Press in 2021. "We published 1 issue of B.A.D.A.S.S. by writer/artist Adrian Nelson who died after the first issue went to print. He was an amazingly talented creator and a good friend to all who knew him. R.I.P." That was actually a reprint of his original small press edition, which I bought a copy of at Bedrock City. I don't remember if I ever told him that. Adrian Nelson was obviously one of my favorite and most frequently engaged local artists, and I always hoped that I'd get to be that wealthy patron having him draw a comic for me someday.

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2019 Dawn of the Dead John Amplas as Rico Comicpalooza Commission by Mark Nasso

Sorry for the awkward trim, but I think I had to cut the better part of an inch for the scan.

Mark Nasso

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• 2012 Fernus the Burning Space City Con Commission by Mark Nasso
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2019 Dawn of the Dead Joe Shelleby as Martinez Houston Comicpalooza Commission by tOoNzDAy

The 2016 Aliens 30th anniversary reunion commissions were a good experience for me, and a welcome change of pace from the various super-hero comics projects I'd done prior. My next big swing was supposed to be an Image Comics 25th anniversary jam, done entirely at my first (and to date only) trip to Heroes Con in 2017. While planning for that trip, I stumbled upon Living Dead Weekend, devoted to George A. Romero's Dead pictures. As it happens, Dawn of the Dead is my official answer for favorite movie of all time. It's more competitive than I make it seem, with Aliens having held that position for many years, and Pulp Fiction disqualified on account of the poster being on the wall of every film bro since it came out. That said, I'm pretty sure by this point that I've seen Dawn more than any other picture, and retain my passion for it, which is a rare thing. I desperately wanted to attend the convention, but I think it was (and remains) within a week of HeroesCon, and I can't afford two out-of-state shows in that span of time. Committed to meeting friends in Charlotte, I deferred until 2018.

The show celebrated the 40th anniversary of Dawn of the Dead in 2018, which I continue to call bull on, since that was only in Italy (and presumably the inferior Argento cut). The rest of the world, and perhaps most importantly Pittsburgh, didn't see Romero's vision until 1979, and the filming began in 1977, so there's no strong justification for declaring 2018 as "the" date. Anyway, I waited too long to buy the tickets I wanted, so I decided to wait for the real anniversary in 2019. To that end, I started preparing for the sequel to the Aliens commissions with the sequel to Night of the Living Dead. Well, I guess variety is the spice of life, because that year they decided to focus on another Romero project, Creepshow, which I never cared about. We ended up taking a road trip from Canada to Boston, where we'd reunite with the same friends we'd gone to North Carolina for. Continuing to drift away from Dawn in 2020, the focus of that con was meant to be Return of the Living Dead and Day of the Dead, so I made plans to go to Dragon Con instead for another friendly get-together.

I'm sure you're well aware of how many plans got nixed or deferred in 2020, and when the intended guest list finally held a show, it was the following year. We still weren't traveling then, so I have yet to actually attend a Living Dead Weekend after six years of awareness and expressed desire to do so. The Image jam ended up taking another couple years for the finished linework to be in hand, and then I proceeded to begin having it colored piecemeal. My hope is to finish it this year, the thirtieth anniversary of Image Comics, though comic conventions are still sputtering in the wake of COVID. My work on the Dawn commissions is very ongoing, as I'm headed to a con this very weekend. We'll use these art posts to cover the details, and since I have a few pieces by Jarrod L. Perez, I figured to just let one of them illustrate this introduction. I will say that there are faint background materials lost in the scan, which I tried to capture in a direct scan instead of a resized color Xerox, which also more accurately reflects the piece's colors.

tOoNzDAy

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1983 Original Dokuzetsu Momohei Tsuyoi Ka Yowai Ka!? manga art by Kimura Tomoe

On our trip to Japan, I tried to track down ephemera relevant to my childhood experiences with their cultural exports with little success. Aside from a few recent manga collections, the only Golgo 13 item I came back with was a tiny figurine similar to a large Heroclix, but with a suction cup in its back. The only English on the item is "ucc Good Coffee Smile" so I'm guessing-- mug decoration? Aside from that, I finally found a small Gatchaman color print at a legit old school comic shop. There were newsstands with manga all over, and we hit several Mandarake, including the multistory one in Tokyo with an elevator. Still, those were mostly filled with 21st century artifacts, and don't get me started on the malls filled with One Piece/Dragonball/Attack on Titan items. No, we only ever found one really dense & dusty popcult tchotchke dumping ground (it was a claustrophobia-inducing number not quite wide enough for any one fat American walk through) and a single true, terribly humid Android's Dungeon deal. That's where my partner finally found a set of water-damaged Candy Candy volumes, and pretty much the only place with original manga art.

So much of the Japanese otaku scene feels prefabricated-- the type of stuff offered every month in the Previews catalog, just flea markets full of stuff you'll see at every domestic con. I've never been big on anime, so my tastes are either for nostalgia for Super Nintendo video games and afternoon cartoons, or just stuff that strikes me as cool. Japan runs on yen, so I had a finite amount of physical currency to last our entire trip. I didn't want to go begging to my girlfriend for toy money, so I was very frugal with my purchases. I mostly bought stuff that I only saw in a particular region to take back as souvenirs for the folks back home. That's why I passed on a ¥3500 Dawn of the Dead movie program, which caused me a bit of non-buyers remorse. Anyway, this one shop had a lot of wicked stuff, including the original art of complete stories in slipcases, like one of those Artifact Editions of the actual artifacts rather than reproductions. Those cost tens of thousands of yen, and in retrospect it would have been totally worth it, but I was still being very conservative. I was also afraid that they might be proofs or something, so I only bought one to take back to the hotel. It was clearly on inspection the original boards, and so we went back for one more, but I should have splurged. It's not like I'm going back to Japan... probably ever, in all honesty. It was a very expensive and fairly arduous trip, and my partner didn't have the best time.

The two pieces I bought were ¥8000 each, so roughly $150. Both were by the same artist, who was unsurprisingly unfamiliar to me. Knowing that I'd never get anywhere with the kanji on the bag, I asked the shopkeeper to tell me what he could about the pieces. He spoke almost no English, which is still a million times better than my Japanese, so I just jotted down a few cryptic notes on his Dumbo Post-Its. "Published in Young Jump. 1984. Poisonous Tongue. Momohira. Strong or weak. Tomoi. Kimura." While searching for some specific missing items and reorganizing in general to take advantage of all the power outages here in Texas, I came across the Post-It again and figured I better take advantage of the reunion before I misplace it again. With a bit of online research, the artist appears to be 木村知夫, or Kimura Tomoe (when the names aren't flipped due conflicting Eastern/Western conventions.) The strip seems to be Dokuzetsu Momohei Tsuyoi Ka Yowai Ka!? (毒舌桃平 強いか弱いか!? 全7巻セット), a shōnen manga (targeting teenage boys.) It's about a young couple willing to die in poverty rather than be separated, and ran from 1983-84, producing a seven volume collection. The writer, Kazuo Koike (小池 一夫), studied under Golgo 13's Takao Saito and is best known for Crying Freeman, both in my limited manga wheelhouse.

Tones are my kink, but the other thing that drew me to these specific pieces was the sensuality. Cheesecake and beefcake are common enough, but the delicate intimacy and tasteful nudity here are uncommon in my experience with comics. You have beautiful male and female forms in vulnerable and romantic situations where the sexuality of the characters isn't compromised. But again, the zip tone usage is extensive and exquisite. These are scans of reduced photocopies, so a lot is lost in translation. On the first piece, the top two inches are solid black, Then the wavy tones are adhered, running to either edge of the page so that but for the scotch tape texture on your fingers, it's tough to spot it. The tone is cut around the central figures, who then have horizontal tones hand cut round their forms and the white areas of the eyes and mouths.

My understanding is that the second piece was made either for a wall poster or some form of promotional work. This one also has two tones, dot pattern for the water and horizontal lines for figure shading. The cross-stitched sky appears to have been exhaustively created by hand, based on the asymmetry and the physical texture on the page. The Japanese boards are much thinner then western counterparts, so enormous delicacy must have been required. The artist also relies heavily on liquid paper for the sea foam and highlights on the figures. Don't miss the ornate back tattoo on the female, which though covered by the horizontal zip, appears to have been custom drawn dot by dot. There's a large "81" written on the back, and some yellowing/browning from actual tape. This was used to apply a tracing paper overlay with kanji suggesting a first chapter with a circled Arabic "1". I've opted not to throw up that scan.

I adorev these pieces, and my only regret is that I didn't grab a third available from the series, this one involving some form of demonic entity and a lot of lumber. Thematically though, this works better as a duology. I want to hang them, but I'm afraid of causing damage, in spite of Japan being about as muggy as Houston and without common use of air conditioning. If they lasted over thirty years under those conditions, many hanging from a thread from a ceiling, how much more harm could I do?

James Bond 007 Ultimate Theme Song Countdown 2020

Inspired by Soundtrack Selections 007 and countless broken image codes on this blog, I'm revisiting and expanding my 50th Anniversary ranking to include twice as many tunes. In the 8 years since my first pass, I started B.O.N.D.I.N.G. Agents: The Father & Son Spy-Fi Podcast, so I've marinated in this material a lot more, plus I just plain missed a bunch of notable stuff. I make an attempt to be objective, with songs I personally like sometimes rating very low ("Make It Last All Night" slaps and tickles,) but are not necessarily good James Bond songs (international smash "If You Asked Me To" should not be in a movie where a drug dealer feeds a dude's leg to a shark.) As with the 2012 ranking, I'm excluding instrumentals, but here's an honorary link to "Casino Royale" by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass. On the other hand, I refuse to acknowledge Do You Know How Christmas Trees Are Grown? by Nina ever happened.

*) "Run James Run" as performed by Brian Wilson
Despite the pedigree, I don't like this one in any capacity, and it somehow morphed into "Pet Sounds"? Still better than the terrible Beach Boys medley "California Gold" by Gidea Park from Daylights that I disqualified.

*) 1987's "The Living Daylights" demo for The Living Daylights as performed by Pet Shop Boys
A lousy synth submission for Her Majesty's Secret Service that was better served as the basis for 1990's "This Must Be The Place I Waited Years To Leave".

54) 1989's "Dirty Love" for Licence to Kill as performed by Tim Feehan
Timothy Dalton is the favorite Bond of a small but vocal minority who feel he got a raw deal. Certainly contributing to that was the fact that there were more rotten songs packed into his two films than across most of the rest of the franchise.

53) 1999's "Only Myself to Blame" for The World Is Not Enough as performed by Scott Walker
Scrapped end credits song that landed on the soundtrack. I try to be thoughtful, but this just plain sucks, and is totally derivative lounge crap.

52) 1987's "If There Was a Man" for The Living Daylights as performed by The Pretenders
Great band. Painful song.

51) 1997's "Tomorrow Never Dies" for Tomorrow Never Dies as performed by Saint Etienne
There were something like a dozen different versions of this theme song as part of a shitty "spec" process that wasted a bunch of artists' time, effort, and aspirations. Nothing about this particular Cardigans-a-like navel-gazing disco(?) attempt seemed destined for 007, though.

50) 1989's "If You Asked Me To" for Licence to Kill as performed by Patti Labelle
Another one of those "what is this fluffy adult contemporary hit doing in a movie about a ruthless government assassin" selections. Plus, and I hate to say it, Celine Dion's version was sharper and more emotive.

49) 1997's "Tomorrow Never Lies" for Tomorrow Never Dies as performed by Pulp
Note the "L" in place of a "D." A pretty good number that landed on one of the band's albums. Seems more like a sneering nod toward Bondian inclinations rather than a true theme, though.

48) 1981's "Make It Last All Night" for For Your Eyes Only as performed by Rage
Sexually explicit groove that ran in one scene. I could chill with it, but this is really just something for the background, as it was.

47) 1967's "You Only Live Twice" as performed by Julie Rogers
The original orientalist version, before the producers reached for a bigger name with a lesser vocal range but a more contemporary (and honestly far more appealing) style. The musical equivalent of Rosie O'Donnell's "ching-chong" moment with would-be Ethel Merman warbling histrionics

46) 2004's "If You're Gonna..." for GoldenEye: Rogue Agent as performed by Natasha Bedingfield
I confess that I wasn't expecting a lot from these video game tracks, and figured the "Unwritten" lady was going to skew more Sheena Easton. With the help of Paul Oakenfold, you can at least have a car chase to this one. I'm deeply uncomfortable with ranking this so high with dreadful lines like "Can't sit around couch potato land" and "'cause I'm looking for a guard dog, not buying a chihuahua."

45) 2008's "When Nobody Loves You" for Quantum of Solace as performed by Kerli
Seriously considered invalidating this one since it's technically a duplicate due to the video game being an adaptation of a movie and because it incorporates the Bond instrumental theme. Since most of these game tracks are sitting at the back though, I guess consider this a subcategory ranking?

44) 2015's "Spectre" for Spectre as performed by Radiohead
Unused (unsolicited?) theme produced after the Bond inspired "Man of War" was refused outright(ly) as undesirable. I love many Radiohead songs, but this was the pantsless George Costanza belly-flopping on the floor of wannabe theme salesmen. Somehow wimpier than Sam Smith, and certainly more lethargic.

43) 1995's "The Experience of Love" for Licence to Kill as performed by Éric Serra
I guess we know what a post-Tantric, "Fields of Gold" Sting song would have sounded like. Or "my name is Gabriel; Peter Gabriel." Mocking aside, this track is sort of the demarcation point for "songs that are acceptable to be featured prominently in a Bond movie without inducing head-scratching or embarrassment."

42) 2002's "Nearly Civilized" for Nightfire as performed by Esthero
A perfectly adequate early '90s club song released a decade late that has nothing to do with Bond, but got used in a well-received first-person shooter.

41) 1983's "Never Say Never Again" for Never Say Never Again as performed by Lani Hall
The worst of the Bond films' somnambulantly mellow title tracks. But she's really into it in the video, right? It's like if Kathie Lee Gifford were a Bond Girl.

40) 1962's "Kingston Calypso" for Dr. No as performed by Byron Lee and the Dragonaires
Odd little calypso from before they figured out the formula, but with an appropriate foreign exoticism and tinge of menace. I'm excluding and/or bundling "Jump Up!" "Jamaican Rock" and "Under the Mango Tree" as more of the same. In fact, fuck it, I'm tossing Ivory's "Wedding Party" into the shark tank with them.

39) 1967's "You Only Live Twice" as performed by Lorraine Chandler
Might have been a fine period platter, but not a lot here for a spy feature.

38) 2006's "You Know My Name" for Casino Royale as performed by Chris Cornell
I remember sitting in the theater with a fellow Bond fan buddy during the credit sequence. We turned to each other and wondered how such a bland tune could have been selected. I cannot recall this song from memory, because it's such a nothing trifle without any hooks that it refuses to stick in my brain. The video is about as bad, interspersing film clips with Cornell playing in front of some lights. How much lazier could it have been?

37) 2010's "GoldenEye" for GoldenEye 007 as performed by Nicole Scherzinger
I just want to dig the blind mouse's knife into Cornell's effort one more time with vastly superior songwriting, before stabbing my own eardrums with the cat-screech non-high note here. Scherzinger should have offered her own interpretation instead of drunken karaoke night Tina, but this is still an actual Bond song instead of a random artist's b-side.

36) 1997's "Tomorrow Never Dies" for Tomorrow Never Dies as performed by Swan Lee
A decent attempt, but not enough edge, and Pernille Rosendahl sounds less like singing in a second language and more like an off-key girl group. I immediately hated this one, only to be won over with repeated plays, while fully recognizing it's probably just my weakness for Swedish songstresses showing.

35) 1983's "All Time High" for Octopussy as performed by Rita Coolidge
This is one of those instances where you have a good enough song for its day, but it doesn't actually have much of anything to do with James Bond. Based on craft, it's certainly better than some higher ranking tunes, but as part of a 007 countdown, it can't help but be hurt by its lack of fidelity to the franchise. The shoddy video illustrates the divergence well.

34) 1973's "The Man with the Golden Gun" for The Man with the Golden Gun as performed by Alice Cooper
This is a perfect example of a band unable to get out of its own way, or at least an ill-advised choice for a Bond theme in the first place. Too much William Castle horror score. Rough-hewn and American, plus that pitch change is laughable.

33) 1965's "Thunderball" for Thunderball as performed by Johnny Cash
Ummm... but this isn't a western? Another demarcation point, where the song deserves to be a credits theme, but only one of the "bad ones" toward the end of an actor's tenure.

32) 1981's "For Your Eyes Only" for For Your Eyes Only as performed by Blondie
Great band that sounds tired and are on the verge of breaking up.

31) 1967's "The Look of Love" for Casino Royale as performed by Dusty Springfield
I saw Royale once on TV circa 1990 and was mildly amused. I had to double check to make sure this stone classic standard actually originated from that spoof. That said, it's a swanky heavy petting number, not a headliner for any international men of action.

30) 1987's "Where Has Everybody Gone?" for The Living Daylights as performed by The Pretenders
God bless her, a near-unrecognizable Chrissie Hynde tries, but she simply is not Shirley Bassey. Sounds like the credit number for a higher end, tongue-in-cheek knock-off, like Austin Powers or Matt Helm.

29) 1965's "Mr. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" for Thunderball as performed by Dionne Warwick
There are two different singers on the same discarded theme song with an awkward name. It's nice that a classy singer like Warwick got a shot at one of these, but hers is the flatter version.

28) 1989's "Licence to Kill" as performed by Gladys Knight
As if he didn't have enough strikes against him, Timothy Dalton was saddled with two of the least memorable songs in the franchise. This is common period overproduced R&B pap with a film title plugged into the chorus. The video is also a rubbish collection of clips and poor superimposition. A major waste of Gladys Knight's talent.

27) 2004's "Everything or Nothing" for Everything or Nothing as performed by Mýa
Performed by the one you don't remember from the 2001 "Lady Marmalade" cover, this one marks a sort of minimum standard for a decent theme song. The game title matches, there are correct thematic elements for a spy-fi villainess, and no part of my body is pained by its presence. Better than "nothing."

26) 2002's "Die Another Day" as performed by Madonna
On the one hand, this has a strong video that tells its own story, and Mirwais Ahmadzaï insures that it sounds unlike any other Bond tune. On the other hand, the lyrics are nonsense and gratingly repetitive, the music itself trivial dance tripe, and the perseverant idiot vocals are buried under e-IBS distortion. It's the Bond tune voted most likely to induce a headache in listeners.

25) 2002's "The Juvenile" for Goldeneye as performed by Ace of Base
Brosnan's first Bond movie had to shake lingering Moore-style cheesy inclinations of the producers, like returning to Sweden for a soft ballad. "The Goldeneye" could have inhabited an a-Ha space, but Jenny Berggren just doesn't have the pipes for this type of gig. The rejected theme turned up on an album seven years removed under a new (frankly more rhythmic) name.

24) 2008's "Another Way to Die" for Quantum of Solace as performed by Jack White & Alicia Keys
Jack White is the problem here. The crunchy guitar and drums are good, but the lyrics are shit, and the composition is irritatingly discordant. Alicia Keys' vocals and piano are perfect for Bond, and then White shows up to whine all over both. The video is decent, but the kitchen sink approach overall is a hot mess. There's a lot of good bits, so it's frustrating when they're overwhelmed by crap.

23) 1965's "Mr. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" for Thunderball as performed by Shirley Bassey
Not the best tune for the grand dame of MI6, but it's still Bassey and John Barry.

22) 1981's "For Your Eyes Only" as performed by Sheena Easton
Casio powered cornball, not helped by Easton's appearance in the actual credit sequence, but it also featured some of the least brief nudity of the lot. I'll always give a few extra for a simple ode to that good dick over a more on-topic but aggressively bad attempt like Madonna or Jack White's.

21) 1979's "Moonraker" as performed by Shirley Bassey
Third time appeared to be the curse for Shirley Bassey, as this was the least and last of her accepted themes. It successfully evokes an (astro)nautical feeling, and there's a floor with Bassey that's higher than most ceilings. The vocals, strings, and piano are sound, but the guitar is Velveeta, and the overall tune is a boring easy listening number. I actually had to be reminded that this one existed.

20) 2020's "No Time to Die" for No Time to Die as performed by Billie Eilish
There's definitely a fatality to the betrayal at the heart of the song, but the tune is very small and intimate in a way that feels deflating against a 007-sized canvas. I'm also very tired of "old sad bastard music" accompanying most of the Daniel Craig films.

19) 1987's "The Living Daylights" as performed by a-ha
Fucking enunciate. The vocals on this song sound like a Muppet without a tongue, or a barred out Bob Dylan taking hits of helium for the chorus. "Nuh-na-- noo-nuh-nuh-nannoo." Is this thing even in English? The music is little better, as it sounds like period pop from the back end of the top 100 (it never actually charted at all in the U.S.) Let's not even bother discussing what passes for lyrics. The video is a catalog of every cheesy editing effect available at the time. But sonically, you picture skiing down a mountain with uzis cutting down treelimbs until a cliff forms a convenient escape ramp as something explodes.

18) 1997's "Tomorrow Never Dies" as performed by Sheryl Crow
Crow's thin voice can't carry the weight of a Bond theme, and the lyrics are announced as rock dumb and cliché from the first line. However, Mitchell Froom's production is appropriately retro, the video is solid, the chorus is okay, and there's a nice breakdown. To quote Jack Black, very safe, very pussy. It's also impossible to forget that this same year, Shirley Bassey joined the Propellerheads for the vastly superior "History Repeating".

17) 1983's "Never Say Never Again" for Never Say Never Again as performed by Phyllis Hyman
A very pleasant period love song, and certainly better than the one actually used. Also, Phyllis Hyman is a good Bond Girl name. Joking aside, Hyman's story is tragic, and she once expressed that this was her favorite vocal, which plainly shows. Soars and yearns and massages the male ego; an entirely apropos ballad for Bond.

16) 1963's "From Russia with Love" as performed by Monty Norman
This is a simple, solid song that recalls espionage through its guitars and reference to the Motherland, but is mostly just a ballad. The vocal track wasn't part of the opening theme.

15) 1974's "The Man with the Golden Gun" as performed by Lulu
This one has the sort of awesomely ridiculous lyrics designed for campy spy action or musical theater, but it's hard not to feel self-conscious about how ludicrous it sounds. Lulu lacks the pipes of a Shirley Bassey, but then again, who else has them really?

14) 2012's "Skyfall" as performed by Adele
Pretty easy to tune out for the first couple of minutes. The callbacks and added punch in the last couple minutes make the song, but it's still boilerplate on both the Bond and pop song ends of the spectrum. It sounds like some homely chick longing for melodrama, instead of a fatalistic sex bomb. Man, I wish Amy Winehouse had lived long enough to do one of these.

13) 1967's "You Only Live Twice" as performed by Nancy Sinatra
While not explicit, a few key lyrics and some of the tone in the music still spells out 007. The very subtle Asiatic qualities are cute, and the vocals are nice. It was a weak title sequence though, and overall a thin, tinny tune.

12) 2015's "Writing's On The Wall" for Spectre as performed by Sam Smith
The hate directed and this number was immediate and intense... in some quarters. It also won an Acadamy Award and made it to #1 in the U.K. Lyrically, there's not much there, but Smith's falsetto is like nothing ever heard before, and the orchestral sweep is present.

11) 1965's "Thunderball" as performed by Tom Jones
Similar to "Golden Gun," but played straighter with more swagger. It sells the silliness better, and the horns are more swanky. Still, it's a bit sluggish.

10) 1977's "Nobody Does It Better" for The Spy Who Loved Me as performed by Carly Simon
This is another pop song that barely qualifies as a Bond tune, but it's a pretty damned good one. Despite lyrics that aren't especially Bond-specific, the exuberant praise of masterful cocksmanship sure smacks of 007. Somehow, despite having no edge whatsoever, name-dropping the movie title and exalting the finest of men makes this the perfect proxy song for women swept up in Bond's charm.

009) 1969's "We Have All the Time in the World" for On Her Majesty's Secret Service as performed by Louis Armstrong
A ballad made bittersweet by its usage at the end of the film. This one has a killer bridge with excellent strings, guitar and horns. The lyrics have nothing and everything to do with the story, but it's so affective, I'll allow it.

008) 1997's "Surrender" for Tomorrow Never Dies as performed by k.d. lang
Look, Crow may be the bigger name and the more likely to be appropriate, but you can't tell me the end credits song isn't a strong contender against the opener.

007) 1973's "Live and Let Die" as performed by Paul McCartney & Wings
I realize that this was a hit single twice over two decades apart, and deservedly so. The bridges are exhilarating and the piano gets some refined pounding. Still, the lyrics are overly simplistic, and the reggae-funk breakdown is goofy as hell.

006) 2010's "I'll Take It All" for Blood Stone as performed by Joss Stone
Beyond the robust vocals and lyrics that actually reflect a Bond story, having Eurythmics' Dave Stewart sharing the mission can't hurt. The game themes got progressively better (and presumably more expensive) until they halted abruptly in 2012, but this was the only one to top most legitimate Eon movie themes. Heavier percussion gives it a greater action thrust that just about any other theme, and while feeling comfortable in their company, this song doesn't feel as indebted to ones that preceded it where many efforts since the '90s have a distinct aftertaste of pastiche.

005) 1971's "Diamonds Are Forever" as performed by Shirley Bassey
Shirley Bassey, John Barry and Don Black bring the classic Bond edge with added funk. This strikes the right balance between recalling 007 and being comically blatant. There's a reason Kanye sampled this instead of "Thunderball," y'know?

004) 1985's "A View to a Kill" as performed by Duran Duran
The lyrics are developmentally challenged, the music video is laughable, and let's not even start in on the hair styles. Regardless, the tune is snazzy and conveys the proper mood.

003) 1999's "The World Is Not Enough" as performed by Garbage
This one layers strength over strength. Clear and detailed spy thriller tune and lyrics, but not so blatant as to be goofy. Sung by a total vamp, the music combines cool jazz licks and techno beeps that represent the 007 alphabet from M to Q. Shirley Manson as a fembot makes this easily the best Bond music video.

002) 1964's "Goldfinger" as performed by Shirley Bassey
Horns that could kill a man, vocals with ballistic impact, lyrics that paint the portrait of a monster, and the most rousing finale of any song on this list. It's weaknesses are repetitive lyrics and a hollow quality to the sound, but it still takes some fantastic music to overcome this titan.

001) 1995's "GoldenEye" as performed by Tina Turner
Classy without being moldy, slinky and muscular by turns, this is an epic theme about the entire Bond phenomenon. Turner's exotic, raw voice ranges from sensual to conniving to yearning with the skill of a true diva. There's the stealthy cool, the fatal yearning, the impossible notes... Bono and the Edge craft crystalline lyrics and hooks that dig to the bone, comparable with their finest songcraft.

2017 Aliens 30th Anniversary Lance Henriksen as Bishop commission by Kyra Morphis

I was really proud for Houston's biggest and longest lived comic show to score the coup of the majority of the surviving Aliens cast ahead of its thirtieth anniversary... until SDCC did the same thing a few month's later, closer to the actual anniversary, then added James Cameron, Lance Henriksen, and Gale Anne Hurd just for spite. Comicpalooza's never tried anything on that scale again, settling into being a purely regional attraction. Given how much money I spent to get all those autographs, I'm not entirely sorry about that. Still, this was a rewarding effort, and I am building a substantially larger portfolio of commissions to celebrate one of the few movies more beloved to me than this one.

At least The H's convention bureau made up for the absence of everyone's favorite fully functioning synthetic, the android Bishop. They brought in Lance Henriksen the following year, and at the same show, I tried out a new artist in Kyra Morphis. She was either an art student or recent graduate, and her portfolio had some really interesting stuff in it. I had my copy of the souvenir magazine for reference, and she took it to work on overnight. Wanting to get a better feel for the likeness, she pulled up additional reference online, printed on heavy stock color paper, and did warm-up sketches on one of the pages. She was really nervous when presenting me the final piece, but she needn't have been, as I was very impressed with her take on the late-film bisected android and the clear attention for detail (note the serial number on his inner arm, for instance.) Never underestimate how many cool applications an artist can come up with for White-Out.



In my haste to get the finish piece to the actor to sign (he was appropriately gravelly) I forgot my souvenir book, which Morphis held on to for a year before returning it to me at the next Comicpalooza. A class act, and not the first time an artist has gone above and beyond for me in this manner. They're good people. Me, less so, since I'd held out on posting the piece because I'd forgotten her name, and then sat on the post for another year-and-a-half besides out of pure inertia. Since Photobucket bombed out most of the images on my blogs, I had to light a fire in my gut to find and repost all of the Aliens pieces (which probably means no podcasting this week,) and here they all are now. At least I got another piece from Morphis for that other project...

2016-2017 Aliens 30th Anniversary Commissions

• Ripley & Newt Space City Comic Con Commission by Matt Haley
• Michael Biehn as Corporal Dwayne Hicks Space City Comic Con Commission by Tommy Nguyen
• Bill Paxton as Private William Hudson Space City Comic Con Commission by Geoff Shaw
• Jenette Goldstein as Private Jenette Vasquez Space City Comic Con Commission by Liam Sharp
• Ricco Ross as Private Ricco Frost commission by Adrian Nelson
• Cynthia Scott as Corporal Cynthia Dietrich Comicpalooza Commission by Chris Beaver
• Daniel Kash as Private Daniel Spunkmeyer Comicpalooza Commission by Toni Shelton
• Mark Rolston as Private Mark Drake Space City Comic Con Jam Sketch Detail by Vo Nguyen
• Private Mark Drake Jam Art by Vo Nguyen & Lance Schibi
• Paul Reiser as Carter Burke Space City Comic Con Jam Sketch Detail by Dietrich Smith
• William Hope as Lieutenant Scott Gorman Space City Comic Con Jam Sketch Detail by Josef Rubinstein
• Aliens 30th Anniversary Artist Jam featuring Facehugger by Cody Schibi
• Xenomorph Queen Comicpalooza Commission by Mark A. Nelson

DC Comics 1993 Editorial Presentation: The Killing Machine

Adam Cross is a drifter. He takes an almost child-like delight in his life as a manual laborer moving from one job to another...until he is unexpectedly confronted by violence. Then, good-natured Adam Cross explodes with the devastating ferocity of a human time bomb!

In the tradition of DEATHSTROKE, THE TERMINATOR, Robocop, and The Punisher, THE KILLING MACHINE blasts his way onto the scene in this super-hero/spy adventure.

This three-issue miniseries stars a cybernetic hero, Adam Cross, who is part of a government program to create a human defense system in a world where nuclear missiles aren't likely to be used now that the Soviet Union has fallen. Instead, there are smaller "brush fires" to fight around the world. The solution? Implanting human brains in artificial bodies to create a special combat force.

Unfortunately, a glitch in the technology drives the resulting creation mad. The program seems doomed, until a crippled scientist allows his brain to be put in a cybernetic body. He becomes the first to survive, but the gov­ernment doesn't have much time to celebrate before he rebels against them for trying to use him for more and more corrupt purposes.

On the run, THE KILLING MACHINE tries to find a peaceful life. The government tries, through assassins and cybernetic controls, to eliminate him, but there's one thing they didn't count on: confronted with extreme violence, THE KILLING MACHINE goes into combat mode and becomes uncontrollable. Faced with his devastating power and exper­tise, his handlers are driven to the ultimate risk...sending a newer, improved model after Cross.
THE KILLING MACHINE is the first major work created, written, pencilled, and inked by the legendary Gil Kane since his classic His Name is Savage over 25 years ago.

Referenced in comics media in the early '90s, this project has unfortunately never seen print. At least you can see a character sheet.

A Frank Review of "Zombie Dearest" (2009)

The Short Version? Zombie day laborer endures routine
What Is It? Dramazomedy
Who Is In It? Additional Voice Talent, Saw III & IV
Should I See It? No.




Gus Lawton (David Kemker) is a failed comic supported the past half-dozen years by his wife, Deborah (Shauna Black.) Gus proves as unsuccessful at adultery as everything else in his life, and winds up forced into servitude at Deborah's rural childhood home in hopes of making amends. Gus inadvertently awakens a buried zombie dubbed Quinto (David Sparrow,) who he uses to do his many chores while he works on a terrible caveman themed stand-up act Gus intends to try out in a barn on the local yokels. Quinto unsurprisingly gets up to flesh eating shenanigans while unsupervised, which complicates the Lawtons plans.

Zombie Dearest is clearly a vanity project for writer-director-star David Kemker, who apparently had enough industry ties to call in favors to match '80s Canadian television production values, pull a strong bluegrass cut for the trailer ("Ain't No Grave" by Crooked Still) and cast a credible co-star. Due to the minimal competence on display, it's difficult to tell whether Kemker intended for his characters to be unlikeable, arrogant left-coasters, or if Gus' act is so wretched because Kemker was afraid rednecks might actually laugh at it if he put even an ounce of effort into the writing. It's probably not a good idea to do bad work on purpose when you're an unknown quantity, since it's so easily mistaken for being of poor quality in itself. It doesn't help that a pseudo-love triangle is resolved off-screen, a major plot point about the town's history with the supernatural is never addressed, and the picture is tone deaf as a whole.

At its core, this is an indie flick about displaced liberals in the sticks and their hubris, but it's played too broadly to offer insight. There appears to be overtures toward this being a comedy, but the film doesn't come within spitting distance of funny at any point. Then there's the zombie element, which is so tacked-on that it's safe to assume its involvement was motivated by mercenary inclinations. The film owes more to W.W. Jacobs' "The Monkey's Paw" than George Romero, so when the shit hits the fan in the final minutes of the last act, it flies briefly and with a remarkable lack of feces. Just to rub it in, there's a twist ending that's more depressing than most zombie flicks for the exact wrong reason. This could have been a decent enough half-hour entry in an anthology, but as a full length feature it is completely charmless.

A Frank Review of "Hide and Creep" (2004)

The Short Version? Plan 9 from I-59
What Is It? Zomedy
Who Is In It? Rednecks
Should I See It? Maybe


Hide and Creep is a mildly amusing entry in the zombie comedy subgenre. It earns good will in the early going through slacker comedy, much of it delivered through a "one of us" sarcastic pop culture geek from out of a Kevin Smith movie. There's also a lot of southerners making fun of southerners (filmed in Alabama by Alabamans,) which is much more fun and legit than when goddamned Yankees try to pull it off. On the other hand, a Dawn of the Dead/King of the Hill mash-up isn't for all tastes, and you will not be surprise to learn these guys were working from a $20,000 budget. The make-up and effects are amateurish, the acting isn't much better, and the direction is so bad at times that even a layperson will question the framing. The first half hour is the sweet spot, as characters and quirky situations are introduced. For instance, the "R" rating isn't just for the full frontal male nudity in the opening scene, but who expected that to be a question in the first place? Both figuratively and literally ballsy. Once the foundation is laid and the initial questions answered though, the lack of variety and depth in the characters wear on the nerves, and there's a strong sense of the screenwriter spitballing for scenarios to keep the crew busy until the arbitrary ending. Enjoyment will to depend on getting your drink on from the top, so your standards can drop off as sharply as the material in the second half.