2002 Stuff Volume 5, Number 2: Duck Ahoy!

From the February 2002 Stuff Magazine For Men.
Photography: Damien Donck.

"You can't just pretend nothing happened."

DC Challenge #8 (June, 1986)

Previous issue writer Paul Kupperberg intended for the mysterious numeric sequence that had been floating around since the first issue to be an ancient protective magical formula, as when Alanna inscribed it on Rann to route the demons. Also, he would have wanted to see Deadman possess Woozy Winks and perform acrobatics to save his life.

• Batman finally, after eight issues, said plain exactly what the heck had been going on. "Earth and the planet Rann are under attack by mystical forces... demons inhabiting long-dead human beings, and creatures risen out of ancient mythology. At the same time, Earth is being invaded by aliens from some cosmic organization called the Greater Galaxies... I found three 8-figure numbers scrawled on a wall at a power plant... I ran these numbers through my computer here in the Batcave... and got a result that seemed to spell a formula to bring about the end of the world. The numbers, decoded, are electro-magnetic vibrational frequencies... [if] put into operation... the resulting wave-front could crack the Earth like an eggshell." The Dark Knight Detective knew demons were involved, and headed in his Batplane for their nearest concentration point, Metropolis. In the distance, a warp hole opened. "I'm too late... the Batman has already departed. Pity. I might have been of some assistance."



• Back in 1943 Nazi-occupied France, Deadman possessed the unconscious Blackhawk in mid-flight to save Woozy Winks, though his inexperience as a pilot was clear. The other Blackhawks continued to fire on the alien spaceship while themselves being shot out of the sky. Deadman as Blackhawk crash landed, only to be met by Rittmeister Von Hammer, formerly known as the Enemy Ace.



• "...Fade in on the New York Waterfront, circa 1986..." where Plastic Man had just learned The Joker had been recruited by Greater Galaxies to help plan their invasion of Earth. Though this wasn't technically his version of Earth in the Multiverse, Plas nonetheless intended to stop the Clown Prince of Crime's global treachery, though he ultimately was sent napping by a rigged lapel flower.
  
  The turbaned alien Kaz then arrived, still promising Joker kingship of Earth, but demanding "Project X must not be allowed to reach completion. Bork and his renegades must be stopped, at any cost."
  
  Kaz further elaborated, to the relief of the book's entire readership:
  

  "Project X involves the disruption of physical reality... the merging of this reality-plane with that of the netherworld. Bork and his fellow renegades of the Black Council have discovered a weakening of the cosmic fabric here in this locus... on the world you call Earth. A similar, parallel weakening is taking place on the planet Rann, of the star-system Alpha Centauri.
  
  Bork has developed a device known as the Probability Disruptor, which feeds on red sun radiation, relayed to this world from a base on Earth's satellite, Luna. The Disruptor is destroying the protective barrier between realities at this locus. The result is an increase in the manifestation of demons on Earth... manifestations that occur normally at this locus, at periodic intervals related to phases of the moon. Bork's disruptor, however, has increased the number of manifestations a thousandfold.
  
  Project X is upsetting the natural cosmic balance... a balance we of Molanto have worked long and hard to maintain. To save reality, Molanto, in conjunction with the Greater Galaxies organization, have invaded Earth. We have done this for the simple reason of expedience. Bork must be found. Project X must be halted. The fastest, simplest way to accomplish this is through the conquest of Earth."

  
  
  Earth's super-heroes were likely to interfere, so Kaz engaged the Joker to assist in distracting them. "Capturing all the heroes who'd been born off world, like Superman and J'onn J'onzz, among others-- and threatening to execute them as traitors to the Greater Galaxies-- that was my lovely idea. See, it's what we call a red herring. Now all the other heroes will be wondering what the alien heroes have to do with the alien invaders. It'll drive 'em nuts, giving us time to strike! Which brings me, oddly enough, to my final plan... I need three million tons of rubber cement, Kaz..." The Joker wanted to gum up the works in Washington. D.C., but Kaz was done with this insanity, and had the Joker locked away.
  
  As it turned out, Plastic Man was playing possum, having deduced the purpose of the gag flower. Plas turned himself into a skateboard, and had almost escaped the ship to inform the other heroes of his findings, when he was shot from behind by a trooper's laser and fell into the bay...



• The Batplane flew over Metropolis, which by this point looked, as Batman put it, "like something out of Fantasia's 'Night On Bald Mountain!' Demons everywhere... as if a doorway had opened between our world and Hell!" The pandemonium led to the destruction of the Batplane, but the Caped Crusader still managed to reach the Galaxy Broadcasting Building, now aware thanks to the infernal beings he had been inadvertently helping this "Kaz" person.
  
  The Dark Knight was met by Dr. Terrence Thirteen, Ghostbreaker and Floyd Perkins, the kid who started this all in the first issue. Perkins had told Dr. 13 about finding a floor in the building that shouldn't exist, and bumping into an undead Humphrey Bogart. Dr. 13 in turn told Batman about his and Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen's running into the alien invasion, and through a space-warp into the Plane of Holes, where they met Darwin Jones and Bobo the Detective Chimp, among others. Dr. 13's memory was fuzzy after that, recalling that he had been returned to Earth by Albert Einstein, but decided to pick up the investigation again. Doctor 13 had brought a radiation detector with him, and when Batman had a look at the frequencies emitted from the GBS antennae, he recognized them from the earlier inscriptions! Dr. 13 had backtracked his detector's readings to their source, the moon...



• Space Cabby and his passenger had made their way to Earth's moon with a message from Alanna and Sardath of Rann. The cab was struck by an energy blast, and skipped roughly across the lunar surface. Mongul then lifted the downed space cab over his head and demanded, "You will explain who sent you, human, and how you discovered the rebuilt relay station. Answer quickly... or you risk the wrath of Mongul, Master of Worlds!"
  
  The narrator noted that without air to carry sound, it's understandable Mongul wouldn't hear a Boom Tube opening behind him...



• In 1943, Deadman/Blackhawk learned Enemy Ace had left Germany in 1933 after the Reichstag fire, and secretly resettled in Germany. Deadman possessed Enemy Ace to convince him all the alien lunacy was true, and the pair flew off together in Ace's World War I fighter against the space ship...



• Back in modern Metropolis, the Outsiders had been called to the Galaxy Building by Batman, but they stopped short to address the demons running rampant throughout the city in Superman's absence.



• Mongul on the moon shouted, "Lies, lies! You say you come from Rann with a message for Earth-- do you take Mongul for a fool?" From behind, Metron argued, "Only a fool would disbelieve an obvious truth, Mongul. Ergo, you are a fool." The merciless former monarch asked, "Who are you?" His reply came in two forms; physically being knocked over the side of a ledge, and verbally: "I am Lightray of the New Gods, Mongul. Hello... good-bye!" A third member of the New Genesian party, Orion, caught the falling space cab with the aid of his astro-harness. Metron noted that his calculations had led the heroes to this relay station, which functioned similarly to a boom tube and allowed New Gods passage through the disrupted Plane of Holes. The group had arrived too late, however, as Earth was doomed to be shaken apart by the already broadcast destruction frequency.



• On Earth, Kaz cursed Bork as his base began to erupt in explosions, Batman predicted the end of the world, and a whole building began to fall on the Outsiders...



• Left unmentioned: The fates of the rapidly dehydrating Aquaman and Zatanna.Mr. Mxyzptlk and his search for Superman. Adam Strange and Jimmy Olsen in the Nazi-conquered New York. The future involvement (if any) of Hawkwoman, Captain Marvel, Rip Hunter, Time Master, Dr. Kemeny, the Silent Knight, Green Arrow, Uncle Sam, Perry White, Robin the Boy Wonder, Captain Comet, Anti-Matter Man and Dr. Fate.



• "If This Is Love, Why Do My Teeth Hurt" was by Gerry Conway, Rick Hoberg, Dick Giordano and Arnie Starr. This was the tidiest, most descriptive issue to date, and even managed to work its gonzo title into the narrative (lovers kissing as the world begins to vibrate violently.)

Sorry Folks...

Computer Problems. No posts this evening. Hopefully back online tomorrow. Love you. Visit one of these lovely recommened blogs in the meantime:

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The IDOL-HEAD of DIABOLU, a Martian Manhunter blog
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when is evil cool?

The Comic Reader Number 159 (August, 1978)

OUR COVERS: Manhunter From Mars by Al Milgrom, back again and probably slated to appear in DETECTIVE, and two new additions to ADVENTURE, Power Girl and The Huntress by Rick Taylor. ©1978 DC Comics Inc.

DC
NEWS
What happened on June 22, 1978 may possibly be the most significant events of the year. This is undoubtedly the most complicated story we've ever had to report, and the ramifications from it will be felt for the foreseeable future if not beyond. It started ten years ago when Warner Brothers took over Kinney National Service, which owned DC Comics.

The corporate heads of Warner Communications had stayed pretty much out of the picture as far as creative decisions go, the significant actions being the instatements of Carmine Infantino and Jenette Kahn as publishers and the budget and price increase okays over the years. Recently, however, the people upstairs began to take long looks at the downward trend sales have taken since they inherited their branch of the comics industry and a decision was made to attempt to halt the plummet by some drastic means. The first of these we mentioned last issue, which involves massive overhaul of the distribution process. Basically, this involves getting a much greater percentage of the copies that are printed displayed on the nation's newsstands, working more closely with local distributors and wholesalers. We will only be able to see the results of this step since few of us are wholesalers. The second step they have taken will hit much more closely to home and we will all feel its impact.

DC has eliminated their shortlived 50¢, 40 page line, after only three months' trial. Obviously, the reason has nothing to do with sales. The people at Warner feel that the new system of distribution should be given a chance with DCs looking like the rest of the industry's books, since there will be some risk of alienating wholesalers without the more expensive books. So, beginning in September (books cover dated December), all DCs that are not dollar books will be 32 pages with 17 pages of story again, but now for 40¢. And that's not all.

All non-dollar-sized bi-monthly books have either been cancelled or upgraded to monthly status. Hereafter, only monthly titles will be published in the regular size.

The article went on to list the cancellation points of seventeen then-ongoing comics, in what would later be dubbed the "DC Implosion." For example, "FIRESTORM with #5... STEEL with #5," and so on. An additional five issues of other titles previously announced were not to be published, as well as two reprint books. "...THE DESERTER, the dollar-sized STRANGE ADVENTURES, SWAMP THING and THE VIXEN have been indefinitely postponed... DC published an office-only comic book entitled CANCELLED COMICS CAVALCADE which features 35 completed comic books we'll never see." A variety of supporting features were left looking for a home, "though the new characters that have yet to be introduced (NEVERWHERE, the VIXEN back-up to feature Matt Treadway, etc.) may not. Some of the writers have inquired about buying back their characters, and DC is not entirely adverse to the idea."

DC's Mike Gold feels that the delay of the SUPERMAN film had nothing whatsoever to do with the decision. His opinion is that the decision came as a result of fifteen years of declining comic sales, possibly spurred on by the low winter sales (figures seriously out of wack because of the blizzard), and the new size would not have been saved even if a phenomenal sales push had been garnered from the film.

In other news, TCR mocked the production of the Star Trek movie, so long delayed it was pushing the five year anniversary of its 1975 announcement. They were also puzzled by 20th Century Fox's attempt to sue "BATTLE STAR: GALACTICA" out of existence based on the premise it owned all variations on the space opera. Even George Lucas himself wanted no part in that foolishness. A slew of vampire pictures were in the works, including Love At First Bite, Nosferatu, the Broadway version of Dracula with Frank Langella, and Interview With The Vampire. One of these proved rather tardy. Never to come was The Illustrated George Carlin, intended to be an 18-minute animated version of one of the great's comedy routines. Roy Thomas wrote in to note he had been paid nicely for his story treatment on the Conan feature film, and summarily disregarded in favor of Oliver Stone as screenwriter.

THE COMIC READER was published monthly by and © Street Enterprises. It was begun as a fanzine in 1971 by Paul Kupperberg and Paul Levitz, both later of DC Comics. It ended in 1983, a couple years after dutifully reporting on the debut of the magazine that would succeed it, Fantagraphics' Amazing Heroes

A Frank Review of "Henry & June" (1990)

The Short Version? 1930s Writers in Lust.
What Is It? Erotic Drama.
Who Is In It? Maria de Medeiros, Fred Ward, Uma Thurman & Kevin Spacey.
Should I See It? Yes.

NSFW TRAILER (Nudity)

Henry & June Uma Thurman Fred Ward | Movie Trailers

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The Proposal Ryan Reynolds ReelzChannel Movie News | Movie Trailers

There are a lot of movies about writers, but very few about writing, and they almost invariably alienate their audience. On her eponymous 1996 album, Sheryl Crow had a wonderful song on the subject called "The Book," about a woman responding to having found her relationship with a writer plundered for material. "...I didn't know, by giving my hand, that I would be written down, sliced around, passed down, among strangers hands." The ironic part being that in response, she writes a song about her victimization hurling recriminations that will be distributed internationally on CD.

Quite simply, there is a distant, voyeuristic, predatory quality to any artist, but most especially writers, who have the space and attention to detail that allows them to most thoroughly violate a confidence and vivisect a spirit. That's why most writers in movies are simply characters in a writing with a glamorous occupation, and films that accurately portray their true nature, like Henry & June, are usually ignored or vilified.

In 1930, Anaïs Nin was a French housewife with literary aspirations, shopping fruitlessly an examination of the work of D. H. Lawrence. She was supported by her banker husband Hugo, a steadfast fellow too bland and well hung to comfort her adventurous spirit and slight frame. She instead found herself drawn to Henry Miller, an unpublished and rather coarse American struggling with his first major manuscript. These are kindred spirits: opportunistic, parasitic, self-important daydreamers compelled to enshrine their preoccupation with sexuality-- extra value placed on deviancy. I may sound judgmental, as they were also explorers facing an uphill climb in expressing their perceived worlds, or as Nin once wrote, "Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." My point is that it's easy to criticize these people and this work from an objective stance, but despite (or perhaps because of) its autobiographical source, you have to appreciate how wholly subjective the presentation is meant to be. This is not, God help us, one of those dry, literal, expository bioflicks Hollywood loves to churn out, but a film that drifts between diary entries, melodrama, sensual fantasy, and metatextual examination.

Henry & June was the first film to receive an NC-17 rating from the MPAA, a largely forgotten designation meant to separate mature but explicitly adult film works from X-rated pornography. Some might approach this film as art house spank material or couples-friendly soft core, and those individuals will likely leave it frustrated. While gorgeously shot and in no way averse to sexual situations, the movie is constantly preoccupied with sexuality on an intellectual level. Even when the activity, whether in action or dialogue, involves couples, there's still a masturbatory quality to every interaction. Both Henry and June are far to deep inside their own heads for there to be any true intimacy between them, with the exception of recognizing in each other the same narcissistic drive. Little wonder Nin spent most of her life with Hugo, but was truly defined by a brief affair and lifelong friendship with Miller. Both would serve as pioneers of a sexual revolution not to come for another thirty years.

The film pivots on Maria de Medeiros' revelatory turn as Nin. Her beauty and presence are sublime, making me wish she'd made more films in my sphere, her most well known English language appearance being a supporting role in Pulp Fiction. The actress is in the unenviable position of taking a promiscuous, secretive, passively abusive figure and insuring she remains identifiable and even "innocent" throughout, and meets the challenge seemingly effortlessly.

Fred Ward is delightful if sometimes too cartoonish as Miller, selling lines as fantastic as "I wanna fuck ya, an' teach ya things. Humiliate ya a little."
A pre-fame Kevin Spacey embodies the flaky, unaccomplished, paranoid, envious bohemian. His every scene is worth at least a smirk, as he chews the scenery. Richard E. Grant serves the movie's role for him as clueless wet blanket Hugo, but he's the most pointed caricature. This is especially true when you take into account the real Hugo, Hugh Parker Guiler, became a surrealist engraver and experimental filmmaker in midlife until his death.

Uma Thurman performs heavy lifting of her own, including the thickest Brooklyn accent on Earth. Thurman plays June Miller, a lifelong muse to both Anaïs and Henry, and makes the interesting choice of making her overblown and facile in her feminine mystique. I've read reviews that questioned how such an obvious figure could be inspirational, but I think they miss the point. Thurman as June is like a fictional construct brought to life, and I think in context the writers are fascinated by this woman who so clearly wants to be personified by their writings, who is so defined, and yet neither is able to satisfy June's self-image in prose.

Director Philip Kaufman co-wrote the screenplay with his wife Rose, and not having read the source material, I can't speak to their fidelity to Nin's writing. I can say that the film is intelligent, beautiful, and an absolute must for sensualists and those interested in writing of any kind. At two and a quarter hours, it's probably much too long to hold the interest of a general audience, but a wise investment for fellow seekers.

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A Frank Review of "Rogue Male" (1976)

The Short Version? If you can't kill Hitler, kill time.
What Is It? Thriller.
Who Is In It? Peter O'Toole.
Should I See It? Maybe.



Aristocrat and game hunter Sir Robert Thorndyke appears to be on a sporting stalk when he takes aim at Adolph Hitler. He is caught by ze Nazis and tortured. This was done in hopes of yielding a confession that he was acting on orders from British Foreign Office Intelligence. The year is 1939, when appeasement was the name of the game, so such a confession would have political capitol. Thorndyke toughs it out, and his "accidental" death is engineered, but also unsuccessful. The rest of the movie is spent with Thorndyke on the run, finding allies where he can.

Rogue Male is based on the 1939 novel of the same name by Geoffrey Household, which also spawned the previous film adaptation Man Hunt and heavily influenced the creation of David Morrell's "John Rambo" character. As one would expect, there's plenty of cat and mouse games to be played, but this adaptation is troubled from the onset. If the hunter intended to assassinate Hitler, he failed, and the more immediate villains Thorndyke comes into conflict with afterward are progressively less compelling. The movie is frontloaded with its premise, leaving the lion's share of the film feeling like an epilogue, or worse, an afterthought. Fritz Lang's Man Hunt dealt with this problem by offering a love interest and a constant pursuer, not to mention an exceptional supporting cast. Here, Thorndyke remains a defeated man throughout, despite the repeated accomplishment of maintaining his composure and very life, but to no clear end. His attachments rarely last past a single scene, leaving the entire film to rest on Peter O'Toole's shoulders.

Here lies the argument to see this picture: Peter O'Toole has called Sir Robert Thorndyke one of his favorite roles, and he displays more range here than in just about any other production he partook of. It's a showy performance, and O'Toole clearly relishes the opportunity to strut. If you can overlook the plodding pace, awkward directorial flourishes, low rent BBC-TV production values, anachronistic hair and lack of real tension, Peter O'Toole makes the film worth the bother.