Baron Death

I can't write a comprehensive history of Steel, The Indestructible Man's first villain, as I only own his first appearance. Still, good luck funding reference anywhere to Baron Death, absent from the web when not confused with Commander's Steel's other major foe, Baron Blitzkrieg. As I understand it, Steel supplied the acid the concentration camp prisoners of the sadistic Nazi commandant Reiter eventually used to blind and scar the future Blitzkrieg. That Baron in turn brainwashed Steel into an assassination attempt against FDR, and one wonders if perhaps there were after-effects, given Heywood's troubled later life. Regardless, that was another baron.

Baron Tödlich and his henchman Bruno attended the German medical conference in August of 1939 where Doctor Gilbert Giles and his student assistant Henry Heywood mounted a disasterous presentation. Heywood had developed a biological "retardent" that allowed damaged limbs and organs to be replaced surgically without rejection. No, the rejection instead came from the German scientific community. "How may you Americans accomplish what the Reich's finest surgeons cannot?" The men were declared frauds and were demanded to leave the country. Tödlich however was not so blinded by nationalism. "I believe Doctor Gilbert Giles... He may prove useful to us, someday-- when we make our-- visit-- to America!" Heywood noticed Tödlich as well, but didn't care for the sight.

A few months later, off the shore of Long Island, a black U-Boat fired a torpedo-shaped missile at the shoreline. A hulking figure rode atop it, then drug the device with him onto the beach, where he met with three Fifth Columnists. "We were told to expect a weapons drop from off-shore... but nothing was said about a new saboteur... Particularly one dressed as flamboyantly as you!"

"Ignorance excuses your insubordination this time, schwein. No warning was given of my arrival because my mission is an ultra-top secret... known only to Hitler and Göring themselves! As for my costume, it will prove necessary! And as for my name-- IT IS BARON DEATH! You will find the name most appropriate once you have used-- these! Experimental weapons to be tested here in America for their effectiveness against the U.S. military machine! Each machine gun may fire up to two hundred rounds a minute-- four times as fast as the fastest American gun! If these weapons work, Germany will use them to smash America-- and then the world! Heil Hitler!"

That same night, Hank Heywood uncovered saboteurs while in boot camp, and was caught in a near fatal explosion. Months later, he had transformed into the cyborg super-hero Steel, and his first tussel was with some of Baron Death's men. "We have a mission, to steal American weapons for comparison with our exprimental ones..." These men carried only conventional machine guns, whose bullets bounced right off Commander Steel. Essentially defenseless, Steel made short work of the trio, and left them for the MPs. Baron Death would have to be dealt with at a later date.

Steel, The Indestructible Man Vol.1, No.1 (March 1978)

The story was titled "From Hell Is Forged ...A Hero!" I was wondering "what the hell" myself, so at least that's one question sorta-kinda answered. I mean, not only did this nostalgic World War II patriotic throwback arrive too late to cash in on the Bicentennial celebration, but coming after Watergate, he just seemed naively trite. Heck, even "The Six Million Dollar Man" had been cancelled the same month as this first issue's cover-date. Maybe Conway's prior run on Captain America was too brief for his taste, or perhaps Commander Steel was intended to be the first dedicated super-hero of Earth-1? Regardless, he saw cancellation after a scant five issues, based as much on lack of creative merit as the general casualty of all "DC Explosion" titles that were snuffed by economic reality.

As depicted by Gerry Conway and Don Heck, remarkable Princeton biology student Henry "Hank" Heywood visited Munich, Germany, a city and nation he spends four panels venting against. Comparing Nazism to the Black Plague, and rightly disparaging Prime Minister Chamberlain's appeasement policy, Heywood moaned in his journal "God, I wish I'd never let Doctor Giles talk me into coming with him to this German medical conference... Why did we ever bother? The Germans won't even listen to the Doctor's discoveries..." As one, the German doctors decried Giles as a fraud... or actually, as five, their balloons somehow more hateful than Heywood's journal entries. Heywood and Giles exited the auditorium as German professionals pumped their fists and demanded their departure from Der Fatherland.

On their way to the airport, Heywood spied a pair of Brownshirts beating an elderly "Juden pig!" Hank let his own fists do the talking from there: "Forget the old man, Ludwig-- WHY DON'T YOU TRY STARTING WITH ME?" The Jew thanked Hank for his foolish bravery, then pulled a Yinsen, drawing Goosestepper fire while the hothead escaped.

The pair returned to the States in August of 1939, where Doctor Giles was met by his daughter, Hank's horse-faced girlfriend Gloria. The fiery mare presented Hank with a newspaper announcing Hitler's invasion of Poland. "Then that madman's going to spread his hate across Europe... maybe the world! There'll be more old men like that Jew in Munich... Perhaps... millions!" Dr. Giles didn't feel this needed to be America's war, but Heywood's vision of the future compelled him to enlist. "Why I chose the Marines, I'll never know. Maybe because they were the toughest... maybe because of old Victor McLaughlin* movies... or maybe because the young intellectual had something to prove to himself." Gloria Giles neighed heartily at this turn, "Play soldier if you want-- but don't expect me to be waiting when you're finished with your toys!" In her defense, Heywood was quoting scripture at her to validate his decision.

Heywood drowned his sorrows with his boot camp buddies at a local bar, but was gripped by self doubt on the lonely walk back to base. "Maybe Gloria's right. I have been playing this like Gary Cooper playing Sergeant York... Am I kidding myself? Grand-standing-- for my own ego? NO! This is something I believe in!" Just then, Heywood spied Ratzi saboteurs planting dynamite along the base perimeter, and introduced one's face to his knee. Another was dealt a hay maker right into an explosive plunger, blowing the lot of them to kingdom come. Oopsie-doodle.

Investigating troops scraped up what was left of Heywood, who miraculously survived. "Regaining consciousness was like slipping into a vat of boiling oil. Everything hurt so much, I could barely see straight... until I saw Gloria..." The poor thing was in tears over her hurtful parting words, while her father discussed with Hank the pseudo-science the pair specialized in that would make Heywood whole again. "Every day, there were operations... and more operations! Using the bio-retardent[sic] we'd developed together during my years as his student, Giles rebuilt my ravaged body from the skeleton up... First there was steel alloy tubing to replace pulped bone in my arms and legs and ribcage... Then a metal casing to protect my skull... and micro-motors in all my joints to help me move all that steel... Then more substitutions-- an artificial lung for the ruined one... and back-up devices to aid my damaged heart... and finally, most-- most painfully, the bio-retardant was used to induce skin-regrowth over the burned areas... covering the whole patchwork contraption with a flesh that made it my own..." By November on '39, Heywood had gone from invalid to superman. The new lung could sustain Heywood for a half hour underwater, he was super-strong, and nigh impervious. These breakthroughs remained a secret.

"I returned to duty, but with a hitch. Because of my recorded 'medical disability,'
I'd be a desk jockey..." Gloria continued to fume and threaten Heywood; "She hates war-- and so do I. But I'm still going to do my part somehow--" Heywood fashioned a uniform and dubbed himself Steel, The Indestructible Man! "This outfit may be colorful, but it's also far more-- flexible steel alloy, not strong enough to protect an ordinary man from gunfire-- but just tough enough to give me a crucial edge!" Steel then stole weaponry from the Westchester Federal Armory that he could later modify for his own purposes. First though, he happened upon yet another group of Fifth Columnists on his way out. "It's no movie, Nazi-- and I'm no Clark Gable!" Steel chuckled as he brutalized the baddies, going so far as to use the body of one to strike another. "Ever go bowling, friend?"

"Slipping away was easy-- a ten foot leap, and a 50MPH dash into some convenient foliage... Maybe this is why I survived the bomb-blast, to fight rats like the boss of those saboteurs... Baron Death! ...I'm going to use those powers and abilities in my own private war, until America wakes up to the menace of Hitler and Stalin and Tojo and Mussolini. It may be a lonely war, it may be unpopular just now-- but it's got to be done, and I'm the guy cut out to do it!"

Also of note, an interesting article on the anachronistic costumes of 40's retconned characters, including Steel, Baron Blitzkreig, and more.

* Presumably, he meant Victor McLaglen.

A Frank Review of "The Fountain" (2006)

The Short Version? Love transcending time and adversity.
What Is It? Sci-Fi Drama.
Who's In It? Hugh Jackman and Rachael Weisz.
Should I See It? Yes.

The Fountain was intended to be a $70 Million epic starring Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett. That movie would have been lame, so I'm glad Pitt killed that incarnation of the project. Instead, it was made for half that price with Hugh Jackman and Rachael Weisz, and earned back only half that amount again. I'm sure the producers weren't thrilled, but I can't say as I mind, as I think the end result was a masterpiece. Unable to afford CGI, the visual effects relied heavily on creative lighting and angles, as well as the filming of chemical reactions, a process little used outside of science films and "head" pictures. The effect, however, is stunningly beautiful-- something clearly more alive than processed. In place of the numbing spectacle of a cast of thousands is a cast of dozens on a sound stage. At times things look a bit low-rent, but the artifice is more akin to a stage play, lending it a intimacy routinely lost amidst the hubbub of more grand productions.

The film was written as a response to "The Matrix," delving less into science-fiction than philosophy, the organic and indigenous rather than otherworldly cybernetics. Also, it is at its core a tearjerker, but there should be enough bloodshed and heart to earn a pass from men. The film takes place in three separate time periods, casting the lead actors in five roles between them. Both are outstanding in each incarnation. Hugh Jackman shows incredible range and depth, masterfully affecting changes in posture and tone to inhabit three distinct manifestations of one soul. Weisz suffers from the same English actress disease as Kate Winslet and Helena Bonham Carter, which turns their American accents into a hoarse East Coast hash spoken by no one ever. However, she's redeemed by her sensitivity and accessibility in her roles, gently but irresistibly forcing the audience to feel for her.

Clint Mansell's score was six years in the making, is ever present, and is endlessly touching. The story works on multiple levels, and allows for many interpretations. Fans of comparative religion and mythology are given much to chew on. The film received mixed reviews on release. Some people find it abrupt and pretensions. It certainly isn't for everyone, but I can't imagine anyone not finding something to love here, if only with the sound down and the closing sequence on a loop. The whole of the film won me over though, and I'm notoriously picky.

The Grand Old JLA

Not so long ago, I gave my opinions on the political affiliations of The Avengers and The Man of Steel. With DC Comics now releasing a mini-series called "Decisions" openly exploring the same themes with their characters, I thought it would be a good time to handicap the positions. I'm a Liberal myself, so I started with the Republicans, since I like to think I can detect "otherness" in these characters...

Green Lantern (Hal Jordan): Ollie Queens's counterpoint, but since he was being written by Denny O'Neil, that only went so far as moderate Republicanism. He's a space-cop who works for a legion of blue-skinned David Ben-Gurions. Sure he has issues with authority, self-doubt and is a bit flighty, but when it comes right to it, Hal knows what side his bread is buttered on. He helped pull the original Angry Black Superman, John Stewart, from the militant left to a more moderate position, and his return to form included reconciliation with Reagan-loving Guy Gardner. Still, Hal's moderate enough to get along with artboy Kyle Rayner.

Hawkman & Hawkwoman(Carter & Shayera Hall): Hawk, man. Sure the Ostrander take dabbled with liberalism in the early 90's, and the current Hawkgirl has been hanging out with Roy Harper lately, but we're talking about brief bouts with juvenile rebellion here. They say everyone becomes more conservative as they get older, and you don't get much older than this reincarnation of an Egyptian prince.

The Atom (Ray Palmer): I know what you're thinking... a college professor created by Gardner Fox and Gil Kane, who's arch-enemy was the spitting image of Richard Nixon? Well, let's not be too hasty. This guy spent the 1960's fighting other scientists-- sure notable nutjobs like Jason Woodrue and Dr. Light, but still. Ever see Atom in a lefty PSA? Didn't he spend a lot of time with Hawkman without the slightest squawk of dispute? When he found out his wife was cheating on him, what did he do? Fly off to the Amazon to live out his fantasy as a sword and sorcery hero. It's not like Ray tried to lift the yellow-skinned natives out of barbarism. He just wanted to poke their men and women with one sort of sword or another. Didn't Bill O'Reilly write a book like that? Maybe not, but Ray sure did, outing his secret identity and leaving his trifling ex vulnerable to reprisal while he returned to the jungle! What does he do when he returns? Start using his body like a living bullet through the bodies of alien invaders. Lend out his powers to clandestine government operations like Amanda Waller's Suicide Squad. Work with the C.I.A. And when he commits his now crazy, murderous ex to, of all the hellholes on Earth, Arkham Asylum? He disappears to another, simpler Earth while assigning a Chinese national his abdicated role. I'm telling you, Ray Palmer is one of those quiet, objectivist Libertarian types you do not want to serve jury duty with. He was after Tricky Dick for being too soft.

The Flash (Barry Allen and Wally West): Barry strikes me as one of those salt of the earth Midwestern types who can't understand the objection to prayer in the school, or even Intelligent Design. West, meanwhile, has a long history of Red-baiting self-righteousness. That kid blew through a fortune, and happily traded on his celebrity for perks and his share of (occasionally adulterous) bed-hopping. None of that would separate him from a democrat, except that he decided to put that all in the past and lord over other heroes with his moral superiority, a decidedly Republican inclination.

Elongated Man and Sue Dibney: Comfortably rich amateur super-sleuths with public identities? Moderate Republicans, I assure you.

Firestorm (Ronnie Raymond and Martin Stein): A nuclear scientist and a jock who only protested a nuke plant in a bid to get laid? Yeah, Red Staters.

Blue Beetle II (Ted Kord): A genius inventor, athlete, and industrialist vigilante created by Steve Ditko? Also able to hang with Ditko's Question and Captain Atom? Even his latter-day mismanagement of Kord Industries and pursuing super-heroics with a heart condition point to this guy being a friend of the Bushes.

Booster Gold (Michael Carter): An unapologetic capitalist and best friend of Blue Beetle.

Captain Atom (Nathaniel Adam): Leaned Democrat immediately Post-Crisis, but this is another Ditko creation with a military background, so he inevitably swung back far right. If nothing else, his recent power and war mongering as Monarch seals the deal.

Huntress (Helena Bertinelli): Can't you just picture Helena at a Young Republicans rally with Shannon Doherty circa 1993? Is it just me, or does Helena share much of Ann Coulter's demeanor? Batman pretty much hated her on sight, Dick still feels guilty for sleeping with her, and Chuck Dixon claimed her for himself for most of the 90's. All signs point to Neo-conservative.

Metamorpho (Rex Mason): I'm mostly going with my gut here, although his famed adventurer shtick and association with the Staggs play into that. I don't know about the comics, but in the cartoon he was also ex-Marine, as far as that goes.

Power Girl (Kara Zor-L): I'll be the first to admit this one seems a stretch, with PG being such a vocal feminist. On the other hand, association with the JSA always bestows an air of Conservativism, and she always seemed more out of place among the Left Coast Infinitors and even the JLE. She's pro-interventionist, happily uses her sex appeal to her advantage, and was even an industrialist at one point. She feels right here.

Big Barda: Born and raised on Apocalypse. 'Nuff said.

Faith: Ex-Military Black Ops. Do the math.

See also: Steel II (Hank Heywood the Third) Dr. Light II (Kimiyo Hoshi,) Orion, Maxima, Agent Liberty, Triumph, Antaeus, and Jason Blood.

A Frank Review of "Aeon Flux" (2005)

The Short Version? Spandex heroine versus totalitarian regime.
What Is It? Sci-Fi/Action.
Who's In It? Charlize Theron.
Should I See It? No.



I remember when the credits began to roll on my first viewing of "The Matrix." A triumph number by "Rage Against The Machine" played, inciting rebellion and leading into the bludgeoning nihilism of Marilyn Manson's "Rock Is Dead." That's how you ended a great counter-culture cyberpunk movie in 1999. I don't know offhand how one should have done the same thing in 2005. Neither did the Wachowskis, based on their lousy sequals to "The Matrix." The same would seem to apply to "Aeon Flux" director Karyn Kusama, who played out her epic with a low-key, droning electronica number. It perfectly encapsulated her movie, however.

The "Aeon Flux" animated short for MTV's "Liquid Television" were high on imagery, short on narrative. A nearly nude woman in shiny vinyl killed hosts of masked troops in her dogged pursuit scientist/tyrant with fashion model looks, which might explain the frequent sexual tension between the two. In fact, the whole series seemed more than anything to be about sexualized violence and victimization through circumstance. All the characters were anorexic, with predatory eyes and obscure motivations. It was like the distilled essential appeal of the 60's spy thriller, untroubled by the particulars of purpose and recontextualized as sci-fi for modern consumption.

"Aeon Flux" the movie tries valiantly to retain the off-kilter orientation and intriguing visuals of the shorts, but marries it to a somber, sexless engine that ultimately owes more to melodramatic 50's Hollywood tearjerkers and the cold dystopic speculations of 70's films like "Soylent Green" and "THX 1138." The action choreography is serviceable, but veers too close to "Charlie's Angels" flaunting of physics without going far enough over the top to accurately reflect the cartoons. The vivid production design and Berlin location shooting was chosen to steer the visuals far from the terrain of the many "Blade Runner" imitators, but at its heart it is as dour as any of them. Perhaps this was a conscious choice, as the film's characters are existentially conflicted through most of its running time. Regardless, the audience is tortured by quirkty CGI and wonderful costumes in service to an idling story with lifeless performances.

A Frank Review of "The Running Man"

Truth to tell, I probably haven't seen "The Running Man" in twenty years, and I expect to wait that long until my next viewing. It isn't so much that the movie's bad as I need such a broad span of time to forget Arnie's constant, loathsome puns. Beyond the disregard for human life that comes with making light of the gruesome fare this film serves up, the jokes are just obvious, "Batman and Robin" caliber duds. If you can set these pathetic attempts at Connery Bond gallows cool aside, and for me that takes decades, it remains a fine romp. Richard Bachman's (aka Stephen King's) story allows for plenty of Orwellian allusions and criticism of the media, which seem odd in a Arnold Schwarzenegger film, unless you imagine his character's battling Left Wing bias. Hard to swallow, as the flick clearly served as the template for "American Gladiators," which was about as pinko as G. Gordon Liddy.

Set in 2017, its future seems more likely as the date nears, unlike the embarrassing lack of foresight assumed by most sci-fi action spectacles. Schwarzenegger plays a military man who, after refusing to fire on a crowd during a food riot, is framed for the subsequent massacre and sent to prison. After effecting an escape with fellow political prisoners Yaphet Kotto and Caucasian Cannon Fodder, Schwarzenegger tries to leave the country with hostage Maria Conchita Alonzo. Failing that, Schwarzenegger is conned into taking part in a reality show pitting him against "Stalkers" in a bombed out ghetto, with freedom as his prize. Richard Dawson of "Family Feud" fame was so deliciously convincing as the shady host of the program, I'm amazed he was able to return to his game show duties. Schwarzenegger runs a gauntlet against the "Stalkers," who are basically sports-themed super-villains, while taking in to what degree the reality of his situation is warped for mass consumption in the editing room. What seemed far-fetched in 1987 isn't at all far removed from what the networks have been offering up for years now, which I would like to applaud as prescient but was more likely a dire inevitability.

Sadly, what is at times wicked fun becomes mired in action tropes by the final reel, as liberation comes through automatic weapons fire, Austrian muscle, and a not remotely credible command of the airwaves. Still, enough good will has been earned by this point to allow for some slack, at least so long as I've given myself enough distance to forget the few zingers left to offer.

Captain America "Fortitude" Inspirational Sign (2005)

I thought this would be an appropriate post for Memorial Day, although the sentiment is perhaps a tad severe. Yeesh! I couldn't find an artist credit on the sign, but it's by Boris Vallejo, originally for Marvel Masterpieces '96. The New York skyline from the painting has been Photoshopped out in favor of the Capital Building, which I actually prefer.