Written By: Glass Candy
Released: 2008
Album: Deep Gems
Single?: Not Charted.
Lyrics:
Feeling without touching
Oh, feel us, we're all laughing
With the angel clowns
Oh see me, see me laugh
Laugh, laugh myself away
Away, away from doubt
My crown is tipped up
My world is zipped up tight
That's how I'm sane and sound
With touchable ornaments placed around
Like eyes, and teeth
We shine like gold and diamonds, oh
We smile, we smile
We smile, we can't be ruined, no
Feeling without touching
Oh, feel us, we're all laughing
With the angel clowns
My crown is tipped up
My world is zipped up tight
That's how I'm sane and sound
With touchable ornaments place around
Like eyes, and teeth
We shine like gold and diamonds, oh
We smile, we smile
We smile, we can't be ruined, no
Feeling without touching
Oh oh, oh oh
Feeling without touching
Oh oh, oh oh
Feeling without touching
Oh oh
Bonus Track: "Digital Versicolor" from 2007's B/E/A/T/B/O/X
Lyrics:
This is red, red, red, red, red
This is orange, orange, orange, orange, orange, orange
This is red, red, red, red, red
This is orange, orange, orange, orange, orange, orange
This is yellow
This is yellow
This is yellow
This is yellow
This is yellow
This is yellow
This is yellow
This is green, green, green, green, green
This is blue, blue, bluuuuue
Green, green, green, green, green
Bluuuuuuue
This is violet
This is violet
This is violet
This is violet
This is violet
This is violet
This is violet
This is the brilliance of white light
White light
It shines on roses and gardenias
White light
It shines on stars and houses
White light
The brilliance of white
White light
White light
White light
The Short Version? Evil Dead 4: Buffy by Dawn What Is It? Horror-Comedy Who Is In It? Thor Should I See It? Yes
I saw two movies last weekend, one on Friday, and the other Saturday. The Cabin in the Woods was filmed three years ago, and then shelved during the MGM bankruptcy. It's a thirty million dollar horror-comedy by the makers of Cloverfield and Buffy the Vampire Slayer that skewers slasher movies and the (now largely past) trend toward "torture porn." The Hunger Games is the hotly anticipated film adaptation of a teener science fiction book series that cost 2½ times as much while targeting the Harry Potter and Twilight audiences.
They're kind of the same movie. Both were ultimately released by Lionsgate, and feature a slew of trailers for the distributor (or in Cabin's case, every single trailer screened.) Both involve female protagonists left in a wooded battleground to kill or be killed by stalking antagonists with the help of weaker male counterparts. Both involve a conspiracy in which young adults are doomed to die for the greater good in order to satisfy the demands of a sinister power. Each includes a lottery system to determine who and in what ways the people will perish. Both involve jaded, almost inhuman facilitators in a high tech bunker manipulating the subjects and triggering automated attacks. Both films feature a healthy amount of cameos, a Hemsworth brother apiece, and involve massive stakes. Both involve impromptu murder/suicide pacts. Nobody wins these types of games-- they only survive, as long as they are able. Of course, the devil is in the details, and where their core premisses are surprisingly similar, the executions (pardon the pun) are anything but.
The Cabin in the Woods, despite being co-written and directed by Drew Goddard, is very much the fruit of co-writer/producer Joss Whedon's loins. It is cynical, satirical, and self-aware to a metatextual degree. It mashes up The Evil Dead with Scream, and stars the Scooby Gang without Scooby. It is a great deal of fun to watch, especially for horror flick aficionados who will appreciate the tweaking of tropes and the very many in-jokes. On the other hand, Goddard doesn't have Whedon's heart or eye for casting. There's a real TV quality to the performances. It's hard to divorce Chris Hemsworth's dubious American accent from his (later) star turn in Thor, or ignore Fran Kranz's perfect/painful Shaggy Rogers impersonation. Given that this is a Mutant Enemy Production, it's weird how flat Kristen Connolly's character is, as is her "nerdy" hardbody beau Jesse Williams. Sexpot Kristen Connolly steals her scenes, but I'm guessing everyone's favorites when the lights come up are Richard Jenkins and Bradley Whitford as the chief engineers behind the madness.
Cabin has a brain and a wicked sense of humor, but it takes part of its glee from playing fair with the audience. All of its jokes are telegraphed, especially to a knowledgeable audience. I saw the film on opening day because I was afraid its twists would be spoiled for me secondhand, but the truth is that there are no twists. There is a central conceit that is laid out in the opening minutes of the flick that plays out throughout its running time in a natural progression. You won't know everything going in, but if you spare half a thought, you'll figure everything out well before the movie blatantly reveals it for the slower audience members. Further, while the characters are nice enough, I didn't find myself rooting for anyone specifically. I was excited and I got my kicks, but everyone in this movie was a disposable pieces in service to circumstances and the games the filmmakers are playing. The whole thing feels like a bit of a joke, and it pays off, but it doesn't really linger in the mind after its telling. Great horror movies challenge and haunt. Others are bizarre in their construction and choices, with the Tobe Hooper one-two punch of Lifeforce and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2 coming to mind, and their genre aberration causes then to linger in your thoughts. They go where angels and common sense fear to tread, while this movie is comparatively conventional, even in its final act bids for the outré. The movie clearly wants to make a statement about the sadistic voyeurism inherent in watching horror movies, but despite its gore, the movie isn't remotely horrifying, and doesn't take itself seriously enough for anyone else to be bothered. Cabin is crooked like the Rubik's Cube its poster references, holding your attention fiercely for a time, but ultimately cast into the drunk drawer as an occasional novelty to revisit.
The Short Version? The Running Girl What Is It? Action-Drama Who Is In It? Mystique and an all-star cameo cast Should I See It? Maybe
The Most Dangerous Game is probably the earliest incarnation of The Hunger Games formula of a relative innocent forced to fight for survival as game in a hunting contest, but the film adaptation of The Running Man is its most obvious influence. Totalitarian government, forced participation in a televised death match, commentary on class strife, a pervasive and increasingly immoral media "reality," blah blah blah. Nothing you haven't seen somewhere else better. Even the teen lit angle had been thoroughly played, from Koushun Takami's Battle Royale to elements of O. T. Nelson's The Girl Who Owned a City, or hell, even friggin' Lord of the Flies. The wheel is safely in its garage under the original schematics.
That having been said, and not to damn with faint praise, but I'd much rather watch The Hunger Games than its teen-and-like-minded-baiting contemporaries. For starters, it's an actual film. Gary Ross' direction is practically avant-garde when compared to the likes of Chris Columbus and Catherine Hardwicke. Lead heroine Katniss Everdeen has flashbacks that are full of emotion and imagery that convey enough of her experiences for audiences to understand without being fully, properly told. When Katniss is poisoned, you feel her disorientation without being nauseated or literally confused. When she walks on a stage and is surrounded by a grotesque menagerie of overly painted aristocrats, you comprehend her stage fright and the necessity of pleasing the lot. The movie is worth seeing for Ross' sure hand at telling a story intelligently and with the necessary affect. In direct opposition to Cabin, this is a movie that you feel first, then process intellectually.
The performances are also much more confident and potent. While a bit... maturely developed for an underfed adolescent, legal drinker Jennifer Lawrence possesses the conviction and earnestness to sell herself as Katniss. Josh Hutcherson manages to balance nobility and weaseling well as her partner, Peeta. Woody Harrelson, Lenny Kravitz, Stanley Tucci, Wes Bentley, Toby Jones, Paula Malcomson, and Donald Sutherland are all swell in supporting roles of various sizes and sides. Elizabeth Banks is completely unrecognizable as tool of the state Effie Trinket. The kids are all alright. The sets and costumes are well realized, and most of the special effects are solid. Getting to know these people and their environment is the best part of the movie.
Things devolve once the actual games begin. One problem I had with both movies was the effect of video games on the narrative. Each features an indefatigable array of deadly threats appearing from out of nowhere to plague our heroes, as though they were ascending levels to a big boss. It's especially true in Hunger Games, which following several hours in a relatively low tech future allowed designers to manifest critters from out of the electronic aether for the final (and very arbitrary) battle. You feel every bit of the movie's 142 minute running time, and while I didn't particularly want it extended nor saw anything that could be taken out without detriment, the finale was deeply unnatural and abrupt. Key characters come and go too quickly, and there's an inescapable feeling of having viewed an outline rather than a completed journey into this world. While I'm happy to see an action movie with a female lead performing well, with all the racial controversy surrounding this movie, I can't help but notice how white everybody ends up being in the end. I also can't help but notice how dependent Katniss is on help, in ways her male counterparts in similar roles would never be. Kind of queers any feminism in the message, and recalls some of Twilight's throwback sexual politics.
I suppose the movie is an excellent trailer for the novel, but when Katniss is forced to consider her love triangle with young David Boreanaz (Liam Hemsworth,) I realize my y-chromosome prevents me from exploring it any further. I won't whine too much when the girlfriend drags me to the sequel, but I still wouldn't get there of my own accord.
You have a song that's literally revered. It's a watershed moment in popular music, as its lyrics about depressing lives lived by rote in isolation somehow made it as a #1 single. Some feel it transcends pop music altogether with its symphonic backing. There have been dozens of faithful, feeling covers recorded, and it has been cited as one of the greatest somgs in modern music history.
So why not a soulless, clueless, emotionally blunted industrial rock cover? This is why not. This right here is exactly why not. And the worst part is how pathetically, obviously cynical the spectacle is. The band was after all signed to Marilyn Manson's Posthuman Records, who rocketed to fame covering the Eurythmics, Soft Cell, and Depeche Mode. Actually, there are so many worsts, I'm not sure which to choose. The grunge guitar riff at the chorus? The isolated "ahhh" toward the end, as the band appears for the final rawking? The distorted spoken word finale? The overwhelming narcissism of the singer only acknowledging his surroundings when confronted by his own self manifested in a "straight" body? Each deserves someone getting a whack somewhere tender with a tire iron.
The Short Version? Men Who Hate Women What Is It? Thriller Who Is In It? James Bond, Captain Georg Ludwig von Trapp, the Princess Bride, Alex Skarsgård's dad, the Exorcist, Warlock Should I See It? Maybe
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo was produced by an award-winning creative team that includes the screenwriter of Schindler's List and the director of Seven, all based on the international best-selling series of novels that got a Swede racked at Wall*Mart. The acting is strong, with an exceptional turn by the previously unknown Rooney Mara as the otherworldly Lisbeth Salander. Jeff Cronenweth's cinematography demands the attention of the audience's eyes, the score by Trent Reznor is potent, and the credit sequence is fascinating.
It's a fucking cartoon.
Mikael Blomkvist has pussy flying at him, but have you seen Daniel Craig? Someone somewhere thinks he's handsome, I guess, but I don't know those women. Guy's face looks like a clenched sphincter. I don't think the dude who edits your local left-wing newspaper is a hit at the clubs either, especially if he's broke from losing a libel lawsuit. Meanwhile, Lisbeth Salander is crazy and violent, but despite trying her best to look like a punk rock Ziggy Stardust thirty years late (because of it?) everybody notices and wishes to have crazy violent non-consensual relations with her. We get to see that happen, because this is one of those Japanese cartoons, or a '70s rape-revenge exploitation flick, except with way too much money invested.
The two lead characters don't even meet in the first (second?) act. They just go through episodes in a parallel, connected narrative. When they do finally get together, it's to investigate a decades old Father Dowling Mystery with the modest CSI twist of shoving Biblical crap up fifties girls coochies. Aside from all the gross, creepy elements, it's kind of a quaint, Agatha Christie, locked island whodunit. By the way, spoiler, the guy you think did it totally did it, except the part he didn't. Christopher Plummer, Joely Richardson, Max von Sydow, Stellan Skarsgård, and Robin Wright are people you've heard of that are in this movie, with Plummer being the most noteworthy.
You can tell this is an adaptation, because there are oodles of characters and plot elements introduced without being properly developed, and the economics of storytelling dictate their relevancy, so there's a good chance you'll figure the whole damned this out an hour before the investigators (unless you apply too much logic, because the resolution requires for a moronic development where a character leads the dicks in a direction they never should have been allowed near.) The movie is too long, especially since most of the fun stuff is front-loaded, and things degenerate to ridiculous extremes of perversion and hobby room decor by the fourth act. Yes indeed, you did read that right. Everything comes to a head an act after it should conventionally, and then there's a fifth act where Lisbeth Salander breaks into a prison, tortures Bernie Madoff to death, then hacks Bin Laden's internet carrier to guide SEAL Team Six to ultimate victory. The movie ends on a dour note though, when Lex Luthor weakens Salander with kryptonite and traps her in the Bottle City of Kandor with Frodo and Samwise.
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is a solid enough movie if you're hankering for Murder, She Wrote mashed-up with super-heroine torture porn, but don't try to tell me this was more than a mass of talented people putting great artistic effort into cashing phat residual checks.
The Short Version? How dare you evict the Count Dracula? What Is It? "Horror" Who Is In It? John Carradine, Alex D'Arcy, Paula Raymond, Robert Dix, Ray Young, Barbara Bishop Should I See It? No.
Some old guy dies and wills his Arizona desert castle to a young relative and his new wife. The pair are selfish and I suppose independently wealthy enough to decide to live in the castle while evicting its tenants of the last sixty years. Turns out the tenants are much younger than expected, because they're vampires. Not just any vampires mind, but the laziest, lushiest, most George and Marion Kerbyest of vampires. Poor old John Carradine takes care of the house and human sacrifices, while a hulking deformed creature named Mango procures for them the finest source of blood, nubile girls. The vampires don't have fangs and are far too couth to actually bite anyone, but even though no one can resist the Mango, the Mango is indiscreet. That's why the vamps paid a whole five thousand dollars to help their former assistant, a serial killer, break out of prison to renew his employment... starting with the asshole couple trying to evict everyone.
By no stretch is Blood of Dracula's Castle a good movie, but it isn't really a terrible one, either. It's this inoffensive thing that can play in the background until your attention is temporarily drawn by the antics of Gomez and Morticia or the attractive half-naked girls who peek in from time to time. At full attention though, it is boring, cheap, and lame-brained.
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