Tuesday, May 22, 2012

A Frank Review of "Blood Mania" (1970)

The Short Version? I wish. Fifteen minutes tops would have been nice.
What Is It? Crime Drama.
Who Is In It? Alex fuckin' Rocco, for a minute or two.
Should I See It? No.

On paper, this sounds like an interesting movie. A personal physician with a past in back alley abortion becomes tied up in a murder-for-inheritance scheme when a blackmailer shows up demanding 50K. There's madness and supernatural imagery and unnecessary nudity every ten minutes. What's not to like? Pretty much everything. This flick is dull as watching shit dry. Almost every second worth seeing is in the trailer, minus a few boobies. The script is an aimless mess, the dialogue is garbage, characters disappear without much reason for ever being introduced, and it finally stops more than ends. While there's quality skin in terms of the ladies baring it, their demonstrations are frustratingly obscured or rendered ridiculous by its use. The absolutely highlight of the film is a purely perfunctory cameo by Alex Rocco, but hey, it's Alex Rocco. It's a small something; a life preserver amidst the fatiguing ineptitude and anti-eroticism, like a peanut in the poop. Do not reach for the peanut.

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