A Frank Review of True Blood (1989)

The Short Version? Saving your brother from gang violence through regular violence.
What Is It? Action/Drama.
Who Is In It? Jeff Fahey, Chad Lowe, Sherilyn Fenn, James Tolkan, Ken Foree and Billy Drago.
Should I See It? Maybe.



Writer-director Frank Kerr isn't particularly good in either creative field, based on this effort. For starters, he cast 37-year-old cheese wiz Jeff Fahey as a teenage gangbanger. Raymond Trueblood is implicated in a cop killing, but miraculously vanishes for ten years into the military without anyone batting an eye. Since he failed to keep contact with the much, much, much younger brother he abandoned at a train station(?!?) during a police chase, Fahey returns to find him also in a gang. You know, the kind of mixed-race-but-mostly-white-boyz you only see in the movies. Led by cult creep Billy Drago, the only way this gang could be less credible is if they allowed Chad Lowe in... and they did. Rob Lowe's younger and much, much, much less talented brother plays Donny Trueblood as an overly emotive greaser in the James Dean mold. Cementing this picture as taking place in some anachronistic alternate dimension, the cops pursuing both Truebloods are played by Peter from Dawn of the Dead and Mr. Strickland from Back To The Future (sometimes sporting an unconvincing mullet.) Friggin' Robert LaSardo even gets in on the action as, what else, a tatted-up Latino punk.

The thing is though, while underlit, stiffly acted, and staged like a TV show with lousy dialogue, this thing is totally watchable. As bad as some of the performances and stunts are, everyone is approaching the material with a scene chewing zeal that's worthwhile. Mix in the lovely Sherilyn Fenn (and of course, some subliminally brief nudity,) and you've got a cast of colorful characters that get over in spite of the rickety framework. I dug this out of a dollar bin, and for that price, you just may dig it too.

Emanuelle in America (Epilogue, 1977)

Character Name: Emanuelle Rogers
Actress: Laura Gemser
Actual Movie Title: Emanuelle in America
Known Aliases: "Brutal Nights," "Black Emanuelle en Amérique"
Country of Origin: Italy
Character Nationality: U.S.A.
Occupation: Photographer (news, nudes)
Zodiac Sign: Gemini
Married: No.
Locales: New York City, Venice, Washington D.C., Caribbean
Release Date: January 5, 1977 (Italy)
Director: Joe D'Amato
DVD: Emanuelle In America (1976)
Stats: Third Black Emanuelle, 2nd with Laura Gemser

Story: On a tropical getaway, Emanuelle finished telling Bill (Riccardo Salvino) "...and then I just slammed the door and walked away from him." The couple laughed, and Bill proclaimed "Goodbye editor!" Emanuelle continued, saying farewell to her camera equipment and so on. Emanuelle joked about casting off her career and going native. "The people are beautiful and healthy here. We'll live like them and become even more beautiful and more healthy!" Bill discussed building a bamboo cabin, while Emanuelle thought she was the happiest girl in a world, but couldn't remember which. "...and I'm gonna forget everything else that isn't necessary in this paradise-- like words, success, poli--"

Emanuelle's escapist ramble was interrupted by her being caught in a net trap laid by villagers and left dangling from a tree. Emanuelle cried for help and release, but Bill smiled and looked on as she was carried off by tribesmen. The ladies of the village then seized Bill and drug him off.

In a hut, Emanuelle had lotions rubbed into her nude body by women of the village, as she rested regally on her knees. Bill, now wearing only a sarong and drinking, spoke to Emanuelle from outside. "Is everything alright, darling?" Emanuelle broke her poise, calling out with concern, "Bill! What's going on?!? Come in here!" Bill lazily replied, "I can't, it's forbidden. They're sort of-- ah-- preparing you..." Bill laughed, "I think I sold you... for a splendid collection of tropical shells and for a good cup of, ah, local beer. Good beer. Very very alcoholic."

Emanuelle was dressed and led to a tribal gathering. She was set beside the chief, who claimed her as his wife. Bill continued to egg Emanuelle on, telling her "his majesty" was a jealous husband who wished her to bear children and for Bill to leave the island after the upcoming celebration. Instruments were played and dancing began, while others knelt down and prayed. His Majesty claimed that thirty-two of those present were his children. Other wives needed him, so his majesty left the festivities in Emanuelle's hands. Emanuelle smiled and looked on, while Bill drunkenly snickered and bobbed his head about, until both danced.

Later, Emanuelle and Bill woke up in bed together, hearing orders shouted from outside their hut. A film crew was outside: costuming the natives, practicing dance choreography, setting up lights and so on. Bill determined that paradise was lost, and felt the pair should get out of there, before someone tried to cast them as extras. As the haunting sounds of Armonium and Nico Fidenco played, Bill and Emanuelle ran barefoot along the coast, the sun setting in the distance.

A Frank Review of "Live Free or Die Hard 4.0" (2007)

The Short Version? John McClane vs. cyber-terrorists
What Is It? Action.
Who Is In It? Bruce Willis.
Should I See It? Yeah.



This will be a short piece, because there isn't much to say. If you like big dumb action movies, this is among the least embarrassing options available. It has an appropriate lead, solid action set-ups, and comic relief that doesn't grate too much. It resembles the other movies in that it has a roughneck hero in an out-sized situation, a Eurocentric hands-off main villain, a long-haired chief chop-sockey lackey, and banter.

The movie varies from its predecessors in that, despite protestations during production, there's an excessive amount of obvious CGI. I don't recall any black people in the movie, though there's healthy racial diversity in minor roles. John McClane's everyman quality is strained by his going from a balding disadvantaged cop to the Übermensch with a glistening clean cranium. McClane doesn't feel much at all like the guy from the other movies in personality, but his shoehorned daughter/damsel-in-distress sometimes seems to channel him, so there's that. Everything's ridiculous and incredible, with no relation to anything resembling reality.

So hey, big booms, slight ha-has... Set aside the title "Die Hard," which hasn't exactly been a banner of quality since 1988 anyway, and enjoy this brainless fluff as best as you can.

Dusk

David Doub is a Texas-based comics writer whose fandom dates back to the 1980s. Widowed and dissatisfied with his career, Doub decided to focus his attention on finally getting the adventures of his heroine, Eve, into print. After two publishers folded on him and he lost his first artist, Doub decided to invest his efforts to a Print On Demand service. Thanks to this method, his 104 page graphic novel, Dusk, is available through Amazon and other book sellers.

You can read the first 32 pages for free online here, and read more about the journey to publication in an interview with Jennifer M. Contino at Comicon.com.

Description:
As a battered wife, Eve's only concern was to keep her marriage together. But when she is kidnapped into the sordid supernatural world of vampires and foul magic, Eve finds she doesn't want to leave. Her mysterious benefactor, the Vampire Lord Ash, wish her to have a normal life but Eve chooses to stay in the service of Ash. Dusk is the stories about Eve and her challenges living in the darkness. Dusk is a supernatural action/drama story done in a dynamic blending of the sequential art styles of American Comics and Japanese Manga. Several artists help tell these stark noir tales of Vampires and Unrequited Love.
100 Pages
$10 Retail
B&W Interior Art

Scapegoat in Four Colors by Charles Meyerson

This series of articles on Seduction of the Innocent and censorship in comics written by Chicago area radio personality Charles "Charlie" Meyerson was originally run in First Comics late in 1984. I was going to post my own scans, but I found superior ones at datajunkie, so I figured I'd just link to those...

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

nurghophonic jukebox: "My Girl Bill" by Jim Stafford

Written By: Jim Stafford
Released: 1973
Album: Jim Stafford
Single?: #12 on Billboard in 1974. Clearly, Katy Perry and Jill Sobule were latecomers.



Bill walked me to my door last night
And he said, 'Before I go
There's something about our love affair
That I have a right to know
I said, "Let's not stand out here like this
What would the neighbors think
Why don't we just...step inside
And I'll fix us both a drink"

My girl, Bill
My, my, girl, Bill
Can't say enough about the way I feel
About my girl
(My girl, my girl)
My girl, Bill

William's hands were shaking
As he took his glass of wine
And I could see we both felt the same
When his eyes met mine
I said, "'Who we love and why we love
It's hard to understand
So let's just sit here on the couch
And face this, man to man"

My girl, Bill
My, my, girl, Bill
Can't say enough about the way I feel
About my girl
(My girl, my girl)
My girl Bill

Bill, you know we just left her place
And we both know what she said
She doesn't want to see your face
And she wishes you were dead
Now, I know we both love her
And I guess we always will
But you're gonna have to find another
'Cause she's my girl...Bill

My girl, Bill
My, my, girl, Bill
Can't say enough about the way I feel
About my girl
(My girl, my girl)
Talkin' 'bout my little girl
My girl, Bill

My girl, Bill
My, my, girl, Bill
Can't say enough about the way I feel
About my girl
(My girl, my girl)
My girl, Bill

1984 First Comics Tim Truman Ad

Not to be confused with the '84 The First Choice Subscription Ad, which was just a collection of clip art from the comics. Here, a young Truman drew his then-signature characters from Grimjack and Starslayer in his own style, and then tried to ape the look of the other First artists on their books. His Mike Grell on Jon Sable is convincing, and the Warp heroes are mostly on-model. Truman pulls off Joe Staton on Mike Mauser, but his attempt on E-Man looks processed through Joe Rubenstein. He has in interesting take on Mark Hempel's Mars, but his style is way off on Howard Chaykin's American Flagg! Regardless, if Truman hadn't been the only artist to sign off on this, I'd've never taken this for the work of one hand.