1984 The Elongated Man Postcard by George Pérez

I believe one of the first times I ever saw the Elongated Man, not to mention the whole of the Justice League (as opposed to "Super Friends,") was on George Pérez's magnificent cover to 1983's Justice League of America #217. I noticed this stretchy guy flinging his neck about in the background, and my response was, "oh, another one." Like most people, I never particularly liked super-heroes with that particular power set. What respect I have for Mr. Fantastic comes from his superior intellect, where I've had to unlearn decades of Plastic Man hate based on his cartoon show and lousy modern comic appearances. Turns out the Jack Cole originals are some of the best comics of the Golden Age.

Leading the discussion back to Elongated Man, I'm already fighting the urge for another tangent. Ralph Dibny was an okay guy, and I liked Sue quite a bit. That doesn't change the fact that as far as I'm concerned, the only interesting thing Elongated Man did in 2 1/2 years of Detroit League service was to pown Vibe in his final outing. His time with Justice League Europe was similarly misspent-- the hero most obviously suited to be in a "funny" League that never pulled any laughs. When your non-powered, unadventurous wife outshines you simply by providing decent supporting work to other characters, you should have your hero card revoked. The only time Elongated Man ever worked for me was as a straight detective, but he was rarely shown in that light, and that was Plastic Man's original territory to boot!

Poor Elongated Man. So little love for you. Many heroes gain a soul with their passing, but even in death, Sue Dibny upstaged him.

Sorry for the lack of flavor text and other details. I don't actually own this postcard, nor DC Comics Classic Library: Justice League of America by George Perez, a recent hardcover that reprints the art from this postcard set. However, I found a pair of pictures on eBay, and doctored them up to preserve here. I understand it's numbered P6197, and was part of a 14 card set, plus a promotional Batman piece. I bothered so that I could offer them up to my other super-hero blog, Justice League Detroit.

1984 The Martian Manhunter Postcard by George Pérez

I'm not 100% sure how I was introduced to J'Onn J'Onzz. I suspect it was either DC Comics house ads circa 1984, or my having bought a heavily discounted Super Powers Collection action figure. I loved that toy, and was given a more thorough feel for the character through his appearance in Crisis on Infinite Earths #7. A saleswoman at Waldenbooks thought I was just too cute in my raggedy Houston Oilers jacket, and gave me the comic for free just before I went on a trip to Colorado Springs. Not only did the Martian Manhunter come off well in the double-sized issue, but in my mind he would always be at his coolest when drawn by the master himself, George Pérez. Also, Supergirl died, but that stuff never takes. There must be something about the nomadic Martian, because a dinged copy of Justice League International #8 was one of the last comics I read in Texas, and a guest appearance in Action Comics #595 was among the first comics I bought when I arrived in Nevada. I'd tried Martian Manhunter#1 in 1988, and was not amused, so I tended to discount any further J'Onn J'Onzz solo reading. I followed the Martian Manhunter's appearance irregularly for years after that, mostly as a result of being a Justice League fan. Alternately, I started buying Justice League Task Force for its Nightwing appearances, and the post-Zero Hour J.L.A. for Wonder Woman and Hawkman. Despite lots of good stories and nostalgia for my action figure, I didn't truly become a diehard fan until 1996, through Mark Waid, Fabian Nicieza, Darick Robertson & Jeff Johnson's Justice League: A Midsummer's Nightmare mini-series. It was like a therapy session had unearth repressed memories. Something about the moment where J'Onzz's family is taken from him again hit me with a tidal wave of emotions related to years of accumulated stories. I was an old lady sitting on the bus sucking humbugs, finally realizing I was a Rider on the Storm. I was a J'Onzz Fan, man! JLA and my introduction to the information superhighway soon followed, and upon learning there were no Martian Manhunter fan sites on the internet, I resolved to one day build the first. It took me a couple of years to get started, by which time a few sites had emerged, but they're long gone now. My Martian Manhunter: The Rock of the JLA lasted a couple or three years, and was a major learning experience. A little over two years ago, inspired by Rob Kelly's The Aquaman Shrine, I decided I would reconstitute my old site material into a daily blog. The Idol-Head of Diabolu has, to this day, barely touched any of the old material. This is one part because I'm a dimwit masochist, another part due to my becoming a better writer, and yet another part due to the format freeing me to both deeper and broader exploration of the character than I would have otherwise considered. Above is one of my favorite images of the Manhunter from Mars, a lovely postcard I picked up on eBay about a decade ago. I used to feature it prominently on my old site, along with the two articles Who is the Martian Manhunter? and J'Onn & Me, neither of which have been restored to the net. George Pérez produced 16 postcards for the unnumbered JLA set. Also featured were the Sword of the Atom (Ray Palmer,) Aquaman, Batman, Black Canary, Elongated Man (& Sue Dibny,) the Flash (Barry Allen,) Firestorm (Ronnie Raymond,) Green Arrow, Green Lantern (Hal Jordan,) Hawkman (and Hawkgirl, of Thanagar,) the new Justice League of America (Detroit Era members Steel II, Gypsy, Vibe and Vixen,) Red Tornado, Superman, Wonder Woman and Zatanna. You can view signed versions of all the cards here. Card Back Text:

THE MARTIAN MANHUNTER Brought to earth by the ill-fated Professor Erdel and unable to return to Mars, J'onn J'onzz adopted human form. His powers include telepathy, super-strength, flight, and invisibility. His only weakness: vulnerability to fire.

nurghophonic jukebox: " Come Back When You Grow Up" by Bobby Vee

Written By: Martha Sharp
Released: 1967
Album: Come Back When You Grow Up
Single?: #3 on the U.S. Billboard Pop Chart



Lyrics:

Come back when you grow up, girl
You're still livin' in a paper-doll world
Livin' ain't easy, lovin's twice as tough
So come back, baby, when you grow up

You look real good like a woman now
Your mind hasn't gotten the message somehow
So if you can't take it 'n' the goin' gets rough
Come back, baby, when you grow up

I want you girl but your wide-eyed innocence
Has really messed up my mind, yeah-eah-eah
I'd rather you get your very first heartbreak
Somewhere else along the line

Come back when you grow up, girl
You're still livin' in a paper-doll world
Some day be a woman ready to love
Come back, baby, when you grow up

Come back when you grow up, girl
You've still got a lotta time left in the world
You'll some day be a woman ready to love
Come back, baby, when you grow up

Crisis On Earth Blog: DC Challenge Preview

Your regularly scheduled post has been preempted so that we may bring you a special crossover event. Today on comic book-themed blogs across the internet, DC Comics characters are being spotlighted in a trivia challenge. Your DC Challenge, if you choose to accept it, involves reading each question, and clicking the link assigned to the answer you believe to be correct. The correct answer will open up a new tab/window on your browser leading to another character's page. The three incorrect answers will do the same, but these pages will likely feature more questions. The fewer the questions, the more likely you will be directed to a goal page featuring a lush scan from an obscure George Pérez pin-up featuring every major character involved in this event. Also, a fifth "E" answer option will lead you to a page that will give you all the information you need to solve the question, and give you a chance to read up on a given site. We all hope you enjoy this holiday season scavenger hunt, and the new comics blogs you'll be exposed to!

SAMPLE QUESTION #1
The Blue Devil kissed which of the following members of the Justice League of America in an early issue of his 1980s solo series?
A) Mera
B) Hawkgirl
C) Black Canary
D) Zatanna
E) I don't know/Error Message

The Adventures of Mark Twain & The Mysterious Stranger

Background:
From around 1890 until his death in 1910, Mark Twain made numerous attempts at writing a story about morality and the failings of the human race. The first version to see print was titled The Mysterious Stranger, A Romance by Twain biographer Albert Bigelow Paine. After Paine's death, it was discovered that he had actually collapsed several of Twain's unpublished efforts into one, heavily re-editing and re-contextualizing the material. These other unpolished or unfinished variations include The Chronicle of Young Satan; No. 44, the Mysterious Stranger: Being an Ancient Tale Found in a Jug and Freely Translated from the Jug; and Schoolhouse Hill, the latter involving Huckleberry Finn and Tom Sawyer. Several film versions of these projects have come into being, including Will Vinton's 1985 stop motion The Adventures of Mark Twain, also called Comet Quest. The above is a clip from the claymation effort, in which Twain, Huckleberry, Sawyer and Becky Thatcher meet Satan. When it aired on cable-TV's The Disney Channel, this sequence was excised.

Blue Tale

Once upon a time, there was a wonderfully small village filled with the tiniest, most delightful beings on all the Earth. These Smurfs were just three apples tall, had blue skin, and did their very best to care for one another.



The Smurfs were active and enthusiastic. They typically lived in mushrooms, and took pleasure in the little things.



Sadly, one day, a terrible smurftastophy destroyed the Smurfs' entire community, as devastating swirling blades ripped their houses out at their roots.



The Smurfs were forced to make due in their surroundings, hunting temporary shelter, and fearful of malevolent humans who would pursue them in their most desperate times.



Gutters, dips, plumbing-- the Smurfs sought whatever shelter they could find. Refugees, they were in constant fear of discovery and consumption.



The Smurfs immediately began to work toward a solution to their problems, calculating their needs and abilities against their circumstances.



The mystic of the Smurfs quested after the cause of their problems, and learned they were to be permanently displaced by an air-conditioned shopping center.



Papa Smurf, the wizened leader and chief scientist of the the community, developed a formula to produce new mushroom homes. However, the development was too slow, too sparse, and too fragile for the Smurfs' needs. Also, chemicals had rendered the soil too toxic for farming.



Despite their inherent optimism, some Smurfs were terribly frustrated by their living conditions, and lashed out at their surroundings.



Papa Smurf called a town meeting, announcing his intention to lead his people to a better, more fertile land.



The Smurfs began to gather their most precious belongs; just enough to carry on their backs; for the lengthy journey ahead.



Wearing her garb of mourning, Smurfette baked rations for the sojourning Smurfs in her underground cave.



Lonely, heart-wrenching music could be heard as the village and life the Smurfs once knew was laid to rest.



All together now, the Smurfodus began.



Scouts were sent ahead to insure as best as possible the Smurfs' safety and advise on their direction.



More often than not, they found concrete, glass, steel-- nothing that could sustain their agrarian lifestyle.



With great trepidation, the Smurfs ventured further from the world they knew, and into the unknown wilderness.



Like a wee mazarine Valkyrie, Smurfette was more than equal to the task of defending her loved ones.



Again and again, the Smurfs found themselves in wholly alien landscapes, fending off predators in a path fraught with peril.



Recognizing they were now in a world not their own, the Smurfs did there best to adapt and make their way. Diminutive but industrious, they tried to integrate into the manners of man.



Their good nature was too often abused, as they struggled to find two pennies to rub together.



This urban jungle was a hard place, but the Smurfs maintained their composure, their dignity, and made do with what was provided to them.



A dark, foreboding portal to an entirely unknown sphere was uncovered.



Out the other side, the Smurfs trekked down a steep decline.



Only to find themselves staring over the edge of a treacherous cliff.



Some of the Smurfs raged against their poor luck, but all eventually collected themselves and continued.



Eagle eyes spied a watering hole and small farm ahead.



The Smurfs were jubilant about access to a clean pond and prospects for their future.



The Smurfs were delighted in their new garden, celebrating with much jubilation, and offering up their few possessions to share with their neighbors.



Whether through chores, treats, or merely their gentle company, the Smurfs did whatever they could to ease any concerns about their presence and earn their keep.


However, all was not well in the garden, as their good natures were met by pesticides and traps intended to shuffle them off this mortal coil.


Though they meant no one any harm, and in fact tried to improve every life they touched, the Smurfs were swept out of the garden and off into renewed exile.


Is there no place the Smurfs will ever call home? Must they forever wander this world, unwanted and unloved. Do you know someone who would open their hearts and hearths to these delightful creatures? Won't you...?

Pepsi Maximum Challenge: Mana Energy Potion

There was a time when it was a popular dismissal to say something tasted like medicine. Nowadays, medicine is actually pretty darned sweet, and if it were not for the unit cost, addiction, and disgusting side effects, I could see downing a smooth, thick bottle of cough syrup on a warm summer's day. I think it would be like a milk shake, only Jolly Rancherier.

Mana Energy Potion tastes like medicine from back in the days when a spoonful of sugar was required to help avoid bitter beer face in the underage drinker. Remember when Coca-Cola tried adding vitamins to its formula, and it tasted like Coca-Cola with vitamins in its formula? Now remove the Coca-Cola. Manna from Heaven, this ain't. Further, I drank it on a day when I was feeling really wiped out, and it brought me all the way back up to below average. True, its only 25 calories a dose, but when you're shooting something so vile, you'd just assume take the hit.