NURGH! Greatest Songs Of Our Time!!!! #1:"Add It Up" by Violent Femmes (1983)

Ranked by order of appearance on the list, with no bearing on relative quality.
The Violent Femmes are one of your go-to bands for the sexually frustrated maladroit, and this would be the banner under which they falter in life. This song is so inherently nerd-cool, even Ethan Hawke performing it in one of his single douchiest roles in fucking "Reality Bites" can't tarnish its mystique. Twenty-four years later, I still can't help but drum spasticly at my steering wheel, veering into other lanes while shaking my head. Also, I'm just not a very good driver, but that seems appropriate here...



Why can't I get just one kiss?
Why can't I get just one kiss?
Believe me,
Somethings I wouldn't miss
But I look at you pants and I need a kiss.

Why can't I get just one screw?
Why can't I get just one screw?
Believe me,
I'd know what to do.
But something won't let me make love to you.

Why can't I get just one fuck?
Why can't I get just one fuck?
I guess it's got something to do with luck
But I've waited my whole life for just one

Day after day
I get angry
And I will say
That the day is in my sight
When I take a bow and say goodnight

Oh my my my my my oh my mum
Have you kept your eye
Your eye on your son?
I know you've had problems
You're not the only one
When your sugar left, he left you on the run

Mo my my my my my mo my mum
Take a look now
Look what your boy has done
He's walking around like he's number one
You went downtown and got him a gun.

Don't shoot shoot shoot that thing at me
Don't shoot shoot shoot that thing at me
You know you got my sympathy
But don't shoot shoot shoot that thing at me
Don't shoot shoot shoot that thing at me
Don't shoot shoot shoot that thing at me
You know you got my sympathy
But don't shoot shoot shoot that thing at me

Broken down kitchen at the top of the stairs
Can I mix in with your affairs?
Share a smoke, Make a joke
Grasp and reach for a leg of hope
Words to memorize, words hypnotize
Words make my mouth exercise.
Words all fail the magic prize
Nothing I can say when I'm in your thighs

Oh my my my my my mo my mother
I would love to love you lover
City's restless
It's ready to pounce
Here in your bed from ounce to ounce
Sayin' oh my my my my my mo my mother
I would love to love you lover
The city's restless
It's ready to pounce
Here in your bed from ounce to ounce

I've given you a decision to make
Things to lose, things to take
Just as she's about ready to cut it up
She says
Wait a minute honey I'm gonna add it up
Add it up (x8)
Day after day
I get angry and I will say
That the day is in my sig