1968 Transogram "You Are Under The Spell of Ka-Bala" Ad

You belly will be bountiful with children, and despite your best efforts, no harm will come to them! You hair will become fine, if brittle, like that of a doll or scarecrow! Your inane "reality" television shows will be picked up by the networks! You will have the body of a twenty year old at fifty, although still be severely off-putting! This is the power of Ka-Bala!

Funnily enough, a sidestepped many opportunities to take an interest in my Jewish heritage, until a book of excerpts from the Zohar turned me around. I know enough about archeology to realize it, like the Tanakh, is more book than holy word, but I still find merit in its teachings. That said, the only way you'd get me to even consider a $200 bottle of "Kabbalah water" is if I get to see Madonna treat it like the one in "Truth or Dare."