- Obama "endorsing" Betty instead of Archie, just to fuck with the rednecks.
- Palin "endorsing" Betty instead of Veronica, after Betty rebuffs Obama and turns out to be a closet case opposed to mixing with coloreds, illegal aliens and non-incestuous abortions.
- Veronica revealing to her father that she was secretly Obama Girl, and hopes to join the Liberal Media Elite after attending college at UC Berkeley.
- Dilton Doiley criticized as an intellectual elitist and drummed out unfairly from the Math Club on accusations that advanced calculus is witchcraft.
- Pop Tate breaks down after realizing Jughead Jones has put the Chocklit Shoppe so far into the black that he'll be taxed in the rich man's bracket.
- Willow Palin calling Kevin Keller a faggot on Facebook.
- Chuck Clayton revealed to be Obama's love child. Michelle throws Barack out of the White House. Hillary consoles.
- Reggie Mantle grilled by the media after applauding the peaceable negotiations skills of Riverdale's Spire Christian Purity League during the desegregation process.
- Bristol Palin puts lipstick on Ethel Muggs; enters her in Dancing With The Stars as a partner for Dustin Diamond.
- The Archies furious to learn Miss Grundy was denied necessary treatment by a Death Panel.
- Sarah Palin fills Moose Mason's face with buckshot.
- Midge Klump immediately impregnated by Levi Johnston.
Friday, December 31, 2010
My Disappointments in Archie #616
I was very excited about the prospect of Barack Obama and Sarah Palin joining the Archie Comics stable of characters, but so many of my expectations were dashed in the debut, I must count the ways...
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