- Obama "endorsing" Betty instead of Archie, just to fuck with the rednecks.
- Palin "endorsing" Betty instead of Veronica, after Betty rebuffs Obama and turns out to be a closet case opposed to mixing with coloreds, illegal aliens and non-incestuous abortions.
- Veronica revealing to her father that she was secretly Obama Girl, and hopes to join the Liberal Media Elite after attending college at UC Berkeley.
- Dilton Doiley criticized as an intellectual elitist and drummed out unfairly from the Math Club on accusations that advanced calculus is witchcraft.
- Pop Tate breaks down after realizing Jughead Jones has put the Chocklit Shoppe so far into the black that he'll be taxed in the rich man's bracket.
- Willow Palin calling Kevin Keller a faggot on Facebook.
- Chuck Clayton revealed to be Obama's love child. Michelle throws Barack out of the White House. Hillary consoles.
- Reggie Mantle grilled by the media after applauding the peaceable negotiations skills of Riverdale's Spire Christian Purity League during the desegregation process.
- Bristol Palin puts lipstick on Ethel Muggs; enters her in Dancing With The Stars as a partner for Dustin Diamond.
- The Archies furious to learn Miss Grundy was denied necessary treatment by a Death Panel.
- Sarah Palin fills Moose Mason's face with buckshot.
- Midge Klump immediately impregnated by Levi Johnston.
Friday, December 31, 2010
My Disappointments in Archie #616
I was very excited about the prospect of Barack Obama and Sarah Palin joining the Archie Comics stable of characters, but so many of my expectations were dashed in the debut, I must count the ways...
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8 comments:
You really are one sick puppy, my friend.:-)
So long as I got a grin...
Speaking of Archie Comics, any thoughts on the apparent failure by DC Comics to successfully launch the Red Circle stable of heroes for the second time around?
An internet buddy of mine who's a right winger swore by the line, but he's the only person I've ever known of to buy any of those books. In fact, I was trying to buy an issue on the cheap just to see the copyright information (Archie still holds all the right,) and the proprietor of the shop didn't know what I was talking about. I finally bribed the guy with pocket change to look at the indicia on one of the back issues the guy didn't know he had.
In an early indication of his commitment issues, when JMS abandoned the line after the initial couple of introductory specials, I knew it wasn't worth fooling with. The characters haven't sold since the Golden Age, and aren't that great to begin with (except maybe the Shield,) so the whole thing was stillborn.
DC has traditionally minimal success at incorporating characters that start out at different companies into their universe. The Fawcett, Charlton, and Quality characters to this day still seem like step-children to me. I'm wondering if the THUNDER Agents will buck the trend.
You speak truth, sir. Remember how exited I was about DC acquiring Wildstorm, only to see them geld the line and run off any talent they couldn't embezzle? Are you enjoying Nick Spencer's Agents?
I have to admit that I was initially skeptical over the launch because they were using different characters than the originals in the roles of the Agents. But I believe in giving a fair chance, and I have to admit that Spencer is winning me over. Time will tell whether he's winning over the rest of the comics buying audience as well.
After so many disappointments, I passed on the floppies, but previews and good word of mouth indicate Spencer has the spirit down. Wally Wood was like the Mark Millar of his day, so I think there's room to jerk the T.H.U.N.D.E.R. Agents around. I see a trade paperback in my future...
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