A Frank Review of "V For Vendetta" (2005)

The Short Version? Nutty super-hero & cute chick vs. totalitarian government
What Is It? Action/Political Intrigue
Who's In It? Natalie Portman, Hugo Weaving, John Hurt
Should I See It? Maybe.

I caught "V For Vendetta" with some friends when it was first released. I'm not a huge fan of its author, Alan Moore, and changes were certainly made. All told, I think it was about as good as could be expected given the source material. Hugo "Agent Smith" Weaving was far more riveting as "Crazy Guy In Inexpressive Mask" than anyone who's ever played Jason Vorhees. Natalie Portman's English accent was vastly superior to the American accent of her genetic duplicate, Keira Knightly. John Hurt, supposedly ironic as the fascist leader given his role in the film adaptation of "1984," actually turned in the single worst performance of his career. Given the ink slung over the parallels between the movie's vision of Britain's future and Post-9/11 America (the original book riffed on Thatcher's government and pre-Glasnost relations with the U.S.S.R.,) one would think the de facto Emperor of England would be more charismatic in a Bush vein. Instead, he had all the appeal of Hitler, right before he ran off with Eva to the bunker for a Luger breath mint.

What I really liked was the torture sequence, which lifted Moore's monologue for the heroic lesbian prisoner wholesale. It played very well, and its straightforward nature puts shame to Bryan Singer's more subversive, yet mostly toothless, homosexual metaphors in the X-Men movies (and likely "Superman Returns" as well.) The final knife fight was also bitchin', and likely guest directed by Los Bros Wachowski in a flavor missing from the "Matrix" sequels.

Obscure Character Handbook: Martika

Super-Hero Feast

The ...nurgh... has a lifelong love of the super-heroes, but addressing that adoration can become a bit random at times. This index will thus be a nearly all-inclusive look at posts related to comic books! Check these subdivisions to optimize our geekitude:

The Unofficial Obscure Character Handbook of the Multiverse
Abel Carmody (DC)
Ace Harlem (All-Negro)
Baron Death (DC)
The Book of Fate (DC)
John Henry (DC "Silver Age")
Kishana Lewis (DC)
Lion Man (All-Negro)
Martika (DC)
Mr. Gargoyle (DC)
Madam Fatal (Quality)
Muhammad X (DC)
Pierce (DC)
The Wonder Man (Fox)
Wyldheart (DC)

The Super-Hero Books:
(The many discussions of comic books appearing in proper books.)
"A": Things I learned from "The Superhero Book"
Amazing Heroes #202: Aborted Titans/Nightwing Plans (June, 1992)
"B": Things I learned from "The Superhero Book"
Chuck Patton Profile
The Comic Book Heroes: The First History of Modern Comic Books from the Silver Age to the Present
The Comic Book Heroes: The Marvel Age of Comics
The Comic Book Heroes: "The Other Guys"
The Comic Book Heroes: The Return of the Heroes
"C": Things I learned from "The Superhero Book"
"D," "E" & "F": Things I Learned from "The Superhero Book"
"G" & "H": Things I Learned from "The Superhero Book"
The Great Comic Book Heroes (2003 Edition) by Jules Feiffer
The Great Comic Book Heroes: Batman, Fox & Fiction House
The Great Comic Book Heroes: Captain Marvel & The Spirit
The Great Comic Book Heroes: Superman
The Rehabilitation of Eel O'Brian by Don Thompson
The Yellow Peril & the Yellow Claw!

Four-Color Philosophy:
Baby's First Comic Book Writing Principle
The Obligation of Renovation
The Bane of Multiversalism
The Absence of Origin
The Delano Theory of Seminal Integrity in Super-Heroic Fiction
Secret Origins Matter (or How Hawkman Got His Wings!)

Political Musings in Metropolis:
The Grand Old JLA
Justice Liberals of America
The Super-Hero Registration Act and the Common Good
Super-Heroes On Gay Marriage
Superman Red State/Superman Blue State
The Two American Avengers

The Trouble With Super-Heroes:
(Even beings with powers far beyond those of mortal men can be boring if they're not handled correctly.)
The Trouble With Aquaman
The Trouble With Nightwing
The Trouble With Wonder Woman

Leftovers
NEW CAP! Like New Coke, but shinier...
Huntress/The Question: Conquest '52
Defending "John Henry" in "New Frontier"
Conquest '07: Huntress vs. Black Canary & Co.
Why I Don't Hate Iron Man
FLD's State of the Marvel Universe Address for 2008
Ms. Empowered
Matthew McConaughey as Captain America? F*** NAW!
Ineffectual Video Commentary
Jordan League of America
Whatever Happened to the Negro League?
San Diego ComiCon 2008 Analysis
Sexual Harassment @ ComiCon
Virgin Sacrifice
Empire Magazine's 50 Greatest Comic Book Characters

More ...nurgh... Indexes for when Super-Heroes come to feast...
Comic Box Trot Index: Lengthy Synopses of Interesting Issues
The Dirty Trader Index!: Paperback Reviews
Smelly Brown Paper (Scans of Yore): From the pages of your favorite periodicals come ads and miscellanea.
Wednesday Is Any Day For All I Care: Another damned comic book review column.

Current as of 4/4/09

Emmanuelle Index

The following pages are devoted to Emmanuelle Arsan's most famous creation. With all the sequels and imitations, Emmanuelle became synonymous with Euro-centric Softcore Erotica, and so we'll also look at other examples of her genre.

What is Emmanu-Wednesday?

Marayat Andriane/Bibidh/Rollet-Andriane Pages (the "real" Emmanuelle)
Marayat Andriane Bikini Pin-Up
Marayat Andriane Bikini Beach Pictures
Marayat Andriane Black & White Head Shot
The Sand Pebbles (1966) Synopsis
The Sand Pebbles (1966) "Frank" Movie Review
"The Sand Pebbles" Cast and Crew on Marayat Andriane

Emmanuelle Movies (Based on Emmanuelle Arsan's original characters)
Emmanuelle (1974, Sylvia Kristel) Synopsis
Emmanuelle (1974, Sylvia Kristel) Movie Review
An Erotic Success: The Making Of Emmanuelle (2007, Sylvia Kristel)
Emmanuelle: The Joys of a Woman (1975, Sylvia Kristel & Laura Gemser) Synopsis & Review

Sylvia Kristel Emmanuelle Custom Barbie Doll
1995 Korean Emmanuelle Television Series Ad

Black Emanuelle / Emanuelle Nera Pages
Black Emanuelle 2 (1976, Sharon Lesley/Shulamith Lasri)
Emanuelle in Bangkok (1976, Laura Gemser) Part One, Part Two
Emanuelle in America (Part 1, 1976)
Emanuelle and the White Slave Trade (1978) Part 1: Black Emanuelle in Afrika
Emanuelle and the White Slave Trade (1978) Conclusion: The Girls of Madame Claude
Emanuelle in America (1977)
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Epilogue
"Emanuelle Nera (Black Emanuelle)" by Bulldog
Emanuelle in America Theme (Instrumental Version)
Laura Gemser Head Shot Pin-Up #2
Laura Gemser Interview Excerpts from "A Hard Look" (2000)
Understanding "Emanuelle in America" (Part 1)

Pseudo-Emmanuelle (Name Only Rip-Offs)
Black Emmanuelle, White Emmanuelle (1976, Laura Gemser & Annie Belle) Synopsis & Review
Emanuelle on Taboo Island (1976, Laura Gemser) Synopsis & Review
Emmanuele 3 (1980, Silvia Castell/Sylvie Cointre) Synopsis & Review
Emmanuelle Goes to Cannes (1980, Olinka Hardiman) Synopsis & Review

Emanuelle Bianca e Nera Videos

Current as of 6/26/09

A Frank Review of "The Hills Have Eyes" (2006)

The Short Version? Neo-Con Propaganda as Cannibal Feast
What Is It? Horror
Who's In It? Umm... Billy Drago?
Should I See It? No.

When I caught this remake, it had been so long since I saw the original movies, I'm not even sure if I'd caught them all. As I remember, it was basically The Texas Chainsaw Massacre transplanted to a Southwestern desert locale, and most memorable for the body count and Michael Berry's naturally jacked-up features. I tell you this because I hated the 2006 edition, and not on the grounds of nostalgia. Now let me tell you why...

I saw director Alexandre Aja's previous film, "High Tension," on DVD previously. It was initially plodding and excessively violent, but the murders were hard core, and once the story got moving it held up on the suspense end. Most people had trouble with the big reveal in the final reel-- whether it was too soon or just wrong depending on the person. I agree with the former, but still saw potential in the work, especially thanks to the film's truly haunting final image. That's why I gave the new "Hills" a shot, but frankly, it just wasn't half the movie. Once again we have a very slow build leading to a relatively brief sequence of overwhelming brutality, followed by the survivors skulking around and having close calls with grim fate for the rest of the flick.

I was with the movie up until the main bloodbath, but then began to wonder about the point of it all. In a sense, I as an audience member was experiencing survivor's remorse, except in my version, I wondered why a just God allowed survivors. In another recent movie of the same stripe, "The Devil's Rejects," it was made clear that we had victims who, while hardly innocent, in no way deserved the sadistic torments inflicted upon them. In that film, due in equal parts to direction and the actors' performances, you were sympathetic to both the hostages and their captors, who seemed at times driven to kill despite themselves. In "Eyes," you only feel for the lost family what you project onto them, because they're damned near stock characters, and their reactions are typical horror movie melodramatic cliche. The killers' motivation isn't far off from Chevy Chase & Dan Ackroyd's parody of the genre "Nothing But Trouble," except with less dimension. In fact, the film is muchly a third generation copy, from a near perfect replication of the credit sequence from the "Dawn of the Dead" remake, to moments and directing cues from the "Texas Chainsaw" remake, to the cartoonish excesses and mutant redneck cannibals of "Wrong Turn." Like Eli "Cabin Fever" Roth, director Alexandre Aja cheerfully wore his influences on his sleeve in his previous film. Here, he waves a banner reminding seasoned horror fans from whence he swiped. Hell, the aftermath of a nasty gunshot wound to the head even had me thinking of what we missed after the opening sequence of "Kill Bill."

Speaking of waving flags, it took me until the final reel to figure out the point of all this seemingly random and unoriginal viscera: I think I just watched the first true Neo-Conservative slasher flick. Oh sure, Jason Vorhees' fixation on dispatching promiscuous, refer lovin', left-leaning camp councilors may be worth examining in this light... but we all know that was just an excuse to show doped up chicks' titties. Let me break down down this movie's overt text for you:

The U.S. government seizes control of land held by poor miners for bomb testing. These crusty desert types refuse the feds orders, hide out in mines, and are thoroughly irradiated for their stubborn ways. A half century later, a modern "nuclear" family, innocent of whatever crimes you might choose to lay at the feet of their government, are lured into the desert to be raped and butchered by the miners' amoral mutant offspring. A liberal who married into the conservative family is then forced to recognize the need to take up arms and protect his family and way of life from these desert savages. In a particularly transformative moment, our newborn hero even feigns returning to his bleeding heart, lily-livered pinko ways before skewering a terrorist with (are you ready for this?) a handy American flagpole (as inspirational music soars.) Our Dustin Hoffman shoots right past "Straw Dogs" into "Braddock: Missing In Action" territory.

Guided by the eye of a French creator, one has to wonder if this was actually intended to be the comically over-the-top vindication of Bush's overseas adventurism that Parker & Stone were shooting for in "Team America: World Police." I'd guess I felt the same as a Republican walking out after the ham-fisted politics of Romero's "Land of the Dead." Both films were amateurishly bad about allowing their subtext to overrun the the plot of the film to the point of negating it.

In summary, the movie is overly political, terrifically violent, disturbing in a variety of ways, highly derivative, and filled with lousy performances. I should point out that after the chief massacre, the movie starts dragging again, except when it launches into (literally) dizzying, nonsensical action sequences. I'm trying to avoid specifics in the film, but one of these portions sees a villain dispatched in a spectacularly wasteful Pyrrhic victory that once again makes me ask, why did you do that, and why exactly are you one of the survivors again? Oh, and why waste Billy Drago's naturally creepy features by burying him in latex? He's one of the only "name" actors in this mess, and let me repeat, I'm talking about Billy Drago here. Have you ever heard of Billy Drago? I figure he's going to be part of the next obscure reference wave, perhaps after Chuck Norris has been exhausted (with whom he shared screen time in, I believe, "Delta Force II". I'm more of a "Vamp" fan myself.)

1987 Marshal Law Promotional Sticker

1968 Action Comics #360 "You Too Can Play The Game" Supergirl Ad

An inventive cover and dynamic ad featuring a Supergirl board game. 1968 ad for Supergirl's appearance in Action Comics #360. The art is credited to Curt Swan, but man, I can't see him at all in the Supergirl images. I can only assume George Klein inked the heck out of those, and rightly so. Contrast her pretty face with those stiff Swan figures at the stating point.