Emanuelle in America (Part 5, 1977)

Character Name: Emanuelle Rogers
Actress: Laura Gemser
Actual Movie Title: Emanuelle in America
Known Aliases: "Brutal Nights," "Black Emanuelle en Amérique"
Country of Origin: Italy
Character Nationality: U.S.A.
Character Age:
Occupation: Photographer (news, nudes)
Zodiac Sign: Gemini
Religion:
Married:
Locales: New York
Release Date: January 5, 1977 (Italy)
Director: Joe D'Amato
DVD: Emanuelle In America (1976)
Stats: Third Black Emanuelle, 2nd with Laura Gemser

Story: Driving her car through New York to a jazzy soundtrack, Emanuelle makes her way to another nude shoot with Janet (Stefania Nocilli.) Emanuelle asked about Tony (Giulio Bianchi.) "He's terrific. Believe it or not, we were married two weeks ago... He's really changed. That's all he thinks about... He's so horny, the only rest I get is when I'm working." Emanuelle chirped "Maybe he's taking vitamins." The phone rang, and Emanuelle dismissed Janet to talk to Bill (Riccardo Salvino,) working with the Queen out of Buckingham Palace. Painfully lonely, Emanuelle demanded phone sex from her obliging lover.

The next day, a disguised Emanuelle was being driven to the pleasure island she'd learned about at the orgy. Her driver couldn't stop staring, and he explained that he had been born there, and saw his share of ladies come and go. "I drive t'the Chez Fabienne Singles Club every day. Have done for years. The ladies I bring out are filthy rich-- ugly as hell, so I think they ought to pay. But lady, that stuff's not for you, cause you're first class material." Emanuelle said that she was just curious about a new experience, steadily working her secret necklace camera.

At the club, Emanuelle introduced herself as "Laura Rogers" to Diana Smith (Maria Piera Regoli,) who ran the club. "Later this afternoon, you'll be able to choose your partner. Would you like something to drink? Go ahead-- I don't drink myself." Emanuelle was more interested in her penis-shaped cookies. "Oh no, not one of those. They're made with some rather special ingredients that can have quite an effect on you. I'd wait until later." Smith required a half payment down, which would cover any "accessories" that might be required. The price was steep, but between the discretion, security, and opportunities available, Smith felt it was justified.

Emanuelle soon found herself in a lounge amongst other guests, inspecting a gaggle of well-toned, nearly nude hunks wearing numbered collars. Cookies were eaten, covert photos were taken, and couples paired off into seclusion. Emanuelle overheard role-playing coming from a small hut outside, revolving around a Tarzan (Rick 'Ercolino' Martino) "eating" Jane (Marina Hedman.) Well, she ate him right back, performing fellatio to climax in the XXX European cut, along with brief penetration. Emanuelle took her shots, then progressed to another woman threading flowers through the bush of an uncircumcised male. Emanuelle then reentered the hotel, where she furthered her investigation by peeking into rooms. The first offered an older blond woman, a strapping black man, his white partner, hand jobs, finger bangs, snake tongue, dual oral, doggy style, and ejaculations. Emanuelle next spied a Sam Elliot lookalike "Zorro" and his fire-crotched cougar (Renate Kasché) on the stairs, she masturbating while he cracked a whip off-screen.

Still not satisfied, Emanuelle took advantage of a key left in a door to open it a crack and peer inside. Her first sight was a reel-to-reel film projector, then a platinum blond enjoying the movie and a man's mouth on a bed alongside. Emanuelle's eyes followed toward the screen, where she was disturbed by the sight of a screaming nude black woman bound with rope to a St. Andrews cross while being threatened with a blowtorch. Cut to uniformed militants shackling a bloodied woman to a table. Cut again to a woman with a pipe shoved down her throat, blood spurting out, her wrists tied behind her back and hair pulled. Emanuelle paused, seemingly on the verge of tears. A black militant on screen pushed a woman to the ground. Cut to mostly nude men in army caps raping a variety of women. One has an enormous phallus, which he forces into the bloody vagina of a victim, her legs covered in scratches. Several men hold her down, one choking her about the throat with his hands. Cut to the girl who had taken a pipe in her mouth, dazed as a soldier cocked a gun in her face. Through wide-eyed horror, Emanuelle returned to shooting pictures. A branding iron was pressed into the flesh of a girl's back. Emanuelle heard the moans of the couple, taking pleasure in this atrocity, and closed the door silently.

Emanuelle returned to her room to remove the camera from her necklace. Two burly hotel attendants rushed to her door, so she hid in a closet. Emanuelle at first seemed concerned, then smiled before her door was broken down. The necklace was found empty, and Emanuelle was escorted to Diana Smith. It seemed one of her "stallions" read Emanuelle's magazine all the time, so Smith deduced the real reason for her visit. Smith refused to return Emanuelle's clothes and other belongings until the roll of film she'd been spotted taking was handed over. Murderer wasn't on the table, as Smith was certain it wouldn't come to that. As this was a matter of potentially compromised reputations, Smith seemed inclined more toward having Emanuelle arrested on trumped up charges.

Emanuelle didn't seem worried, as she sensed sexual tension from the tightly wound Smith, who refused all drinks, smokes... and men? The lady dost protest to much, as Emanuelle very nearly got Diana to eat a ecstasy cookie with her feminine wiles. When Emanuelle pegged Smith as a lesbian virgin, it earned her a backhand with a slap follow-up. Slightly pissed, Emanuelle forced Diana to the ground, tearing at her clothes with her hands. After ripping off Diana's panties, Emanuelle forced Smith to drink alcohol, then initiated her in the Sapphic delights. Leaving Smith writhing on the floor, Emanuelle took Diana's clothes and claimed she was going to get the roll. Instead, she snuck out to the car of the overly-friendly driver who had first brought her to the "Singles Club." Emanuelle even bargained for airfare and a new dress, courtesy of gratitude sex...

...to be continued...

DC Challenge #4 (2/1986)

• Director Darwin Jones of the Department of Scientific Investigation in Washington D.C. was trying, like the readers, to make sense of DC Challenge #1-3. Having borrowed Bobo the Detective Chimp from Sheriff Chase to investigate the chimpanzee's extraordinary longevity, he was pleasantly surprised when Bobo determined a pattern in the unusual instances that circled Metropolis. Just then, Superman arrived to enlist the DSI's analytical help, as it was too much for S.T.A.R. Labs. Bobo had to "chee" at Superman to remind him his JLA signal device was going off, as the Detective Chimp couldn't talk back then, and Superman was still rattled by the beating Mongul gave him. Jones and Bobo then set out for Metropolis.


• Aquaman: In the Sahara Desert, the Sea King was surrounded by pointy-eared aliens. "We will indeed end the 'menace,' Aquaman-- and you will be one of the most important tools we shall use! ...Just as we took knowledge of the JLA from your mind to 'borrow' their shapes-- we used your signaler to call your comrades! There are several among them who can be important pawns in our game-- for they are traitors to our cause! ...Some of your comrades are no more 'people' than I am, Aquaman! Your purpose is concluded, human. You are now irrelevant, and may prepare to cease existence."
  
  Martian Manhunter: "Whoever you are, you can't kill a Justice Leaguer that easily!" The Alien Atlas flew into the aliens line of fire, shielding Aquaman with his own body.
  
  Zatanna: Teleported with Martian Manhunter. "You didn't think we'd ignore our leader's summons, did you, cutie? Besides, I haven't been to Egypt for years, and the sight-seeing's great!" Zee tried to apply her sorcery to the aliens, but it wouldn't work. "The power of magic is no longer so great, woman-- and soon will be gone entirely!"
  
  Martian Manhunter: Screamed "AYEEEIIIII!" when confined in an energy cage projected from an alien's ray gun. Spirited away through a portal in the sky with the other extraterrestrials. "We will let you live to ponder that knowledge-- for we have the traitor now-- and although your powers may be sufficient to allow you to survive, you are, as we said, irrelevant. Hardly worth bothering to kill."
  
  Aquaman & Zatanna: "Huh???" Left to die in the desert, again.


• Batman and Hawkwoman hung from a branch on the side of a Peruvian jungle cliff, until Adam Strange lept to grab the same. The limb snapped, but as Adam had planned, the trio just fell into the Zeta-Beam to Rann that brought Strange there in the first place. On Rann, the heroes met with the Viking Prince, the scientist Sardath and his lovely daughter Alanna in an open field. The mythological monsters had followed a crystal Sardath had left the city with, so Hawkman and Hawkwoman flew to the defense (even though Hawkgirl lost her wings to a monster last issue, hence the falling.) To compound the insult to reader's intelligence, Superman showed up out of nowhere, though it was claimed he too had ridden the zeta-beam after following his JLA signal device to the jungle. However, a magical monster quickly hypnotized and captured the Man of Steel. Then those pointy-eared alien guys showed up to take the crystal from Sardath and use it to barter with the monster for Superman.


• Darwin Jones and Detective Chimp were in Metropolis on the Daily Planet's roof as an alien invasion began. Our nuclear missiles bounced harmlessly off their ships, although Darwin learned from a phone call to Simpson that in countries still in the dark of night, they were more effective. Invaders burst onto the roof Darwin was on, so he whispered a simple plan to Bobo. The chimp drew fire, as Darwin escaped down a staircase.


• In New York, Jimmy Olsen enlisted the services of Dr. Terrence Thirteen, Ghostbreaker to solve the mystery of dead celebrities haunting the Daily Planet.


• Metropolis: Bobo reunited with Darwin Jones, showing him the demons that were also invading, this group in the Planet basement. Radiation the pair seemed to pick up on the roof again passed between them. Bobo pointed to a matter transmitter the demons were using for transport, and convinced Jones to join him in passing through its portal. The demons who remained were printing a newspaper headline declaring Clark Kent was Superman.


• Before Olsen and Dr. Thirteen reached the airport, aliens conquered New York, even though Floyd also appeared to be in town. The aliens had Supergirl, Superman, Martian Manhunter, Starfire and Jemm: Son of Saturn tied to poles for a public execution. "The independence of this planet has ended! You are now to be a part of the Greater Galaxies-- and these aliens who have lived among you shall be the first to feel our justice! For having dared fraternize with you-- for pretending to live among you in peace-- these traitors shall die!" Jimmy Olsen couldn't help directly, so he guided Dr. 13 through another matter transmitter portal that had appeared.


• In an energy spewing limbo, Darwin Jones was beyond incredulous regarding Bobo's intelligence. Jones demanded answers from an inarticulate chimpanzee, just as Olsen and Thirteen fell on top of him. After introductions were made, an armed alien invader appeared. "We had not thought any Earthmen had the resources to invade the Plane of Holes-- you surprise us." The alien stunned the humans to sleep, but as he prepared to kill their "pet," Deadman leapt out of Bobo's body. Surprisingly solid, Deadman socked the alien, though his previous host took a hit from the ray gun...


• Previous issue writer Doug Moench noted the literal Hawkgirl/Batman/Adam Strange cliffhanger was resolved as he imagined. Moench imagined Aquaman would have saved himself by leaping back into the oasis pond and controlling the algae to form either a giant SOS or reflective surfaces to deflect lasers. On the matter of Alanna of Rann being left to fend for herself, Moench said "Paul blew this one completely! Hah!" Instead, Alanna should have used the Projection Device to reverse shrink and imprison the monster in the gem Viking Prince was just released from. Maybe that happened between panels?


• "Atomic Nights" was by Paul Levitz, Gil Kane and Klaus Janson.

A Frank Review of "Slumdog Millionaire"(2008)

The Short Version? Dickensian Indians/Colonized Bollywood
What Is It? Melodramedy.
Who's In It? No Honkeys.
Should I See It? Yes.

My girlfriend had been wanting to see this Best Picture Oscar Winner since the days it was looking to be strictly art-house fare, so we caught the very tail end of the theatrical run before it hit home video. Since I'd heard for months what a crowd-pleaser it was, I assumed it was just the sort of opiate for the masses I usually have no taste for. In fact, the opening scenes are entirely too cartoonishly cute, but when the bitter hits the sweet square in the kisser with a baseball bat, I'll admit I had to reconsider my initial impression. As the film continued to offer subtitled Hindi dialogue from true life slum kids and some truly diabolical goings-on, I was drawn into this desperate, engrossing world. Orphaned brothers Jamal and Salim grow into a pair of teenage rogues as they brave exploitation, mutilation, and other violations that only enter the equation under the worst or most melodramatic of circumstances. These young child actors perform with all of their hearts and awkward bonafides, earning monolithic good will that carries the audience through the rest of the picture. In the middle third, the youths are replaced with less believable teenaged actors, and less quaffable circumstances. The children's existence is dire but transfixing and redemptive, where as teens they fall into hoary territory with painfully self-conscious acting. Still, you're already involved with these characters, and the film remains entertaining and affecting, so you forgive its shortcomings.

The picture had by this point been sewn together by a series of recollections from a young adult Jamal, as he was tortured by police during an interrogation. Jamal had performed more than a bit too well on the game show "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" for an ignorant guttersnipe, so the flashbacks served to explain how he was able to draw upon his incredible experiences to answer seemingly impossible questions. It's a clever device, and unlike some critics, I did not find it sapping of tension. Up until the last third, the flick remained riveting. However, the actor playing Jamal is clean cut and speaks perfect English. The skinny childhood love Latika had grown into one of the most beautiful women you can imagine, a cross between Rosario Dawson and Eva Longoria. Mobsters and double-crosses and starcrossed lovers and shitty MTV editing had invaded the space. In an imaginary sequence, the film had almost literally jumped the shark, and is utterly reliant on the goodwill engendered earlier to overlook a screenplay turn toward tripe.

I've never been a big fan of director Danny Boyle. I find Trainspotting to be one of the most overrated films of my generation, 28 Days Later... pathetically derivative, The Beach mildly amusing, and the less said of A Life Less Ordinary the better. Only Shallow Grave really worked for me, and Boyle's portions of this film continue my feeling that the director leans too much toward style and cliché as "homage." The influence of sillier, dated Bollywood fare is all over his portion, not to mention a full-on tongue kiss to old school Hollywood. Most egregious, if not outright offensive, is the closing credits dance sequence. Set to the tune of the remarkably stupid, inexplicable Oscar winner "Jai Ho," a "Macarena" for the '00s, this number is further marred with comic book hyperbolic credit text. I'd also like to take this moment to demand a indefinite moratorium on the use of M.I.A.'s "Paper Planes" on any film soundtrack. Co-director Loveleen Tandan seems the talent to watch, even after having suffered through her misguided interpretation of Vanity Fair. Let's leave the English to Boyle and the Indian to Tandan, and hope for the best in future endeavors.

Criticisms aside, and I do mean even in the face of much to complain about, Slumdog Millionaire remains a viewing pleasure that offers somewhat cultured comfort food for our troubled times. This is classic, heart-string-tugging cinema that works on any but the most hardened viewer. The returns may diminish as the roles rotated and the celluloid rolls on, but there's so much spirit here, you'll likely be carried along with a smile on your face at the closing. It's always big, it's often ridiculous, but it's truly worth your time.

A Frank Review of "Fidel" (2000)

The Short Version? Castro the idealistic revolutionary gone wrong.
What Is It? Biopic.
Who's In It? Gael García Bernal as Che.
Should I See It? Maybe.

A solid if somewhat typical biographical mini-series, originally presented by the Showtime cable network. The dialogue is, as expected, plagued by exposition and diatribe. Víctor Huggo Martin plays the infamous political figure as an inspired idealist, but also an opportunistic and deluded rebel leader turned paranoid dictator. A lengthy credit sequence in which an aged Castro marches through his palace makes clear the filmmaker's prejudice against the man, and as the story unfolds we find a womanizer whose trial-and-catastrophic-error path toward social uprising costs hundreds of dedicated lives. Still, Martin remains sympathetic through most of the running time, with devoted speeches and, eventually, clever strategy. Gael García Bernal delivers a quirky and passionate performance as Che Guevara, later to be reprised in The Motorcycle Diaries, and putting to shame Benicio Del Toro's ill-considered turn in Steven Soderbergh's Che. Cecilia Suárez is a cool and intense Celia Sanchez. Tony Plana, long typecast as "evil Latino," in no way endangers his niche as Battista. There's no shortage of strong heroines in the picture, well played by Alejandra Gollas, Margarita Rosa de Francisco and Patricia Velasquez. The direction of David Attwood is problematic, as there are stylistic flourishes and a laughable bit of dubbing at the end that drop kick the viewer right out of the movie. Still, surprisingly entertaining for a movie about the inequities of capitalist and socialist regimes.

1985 DC Comics Robert Bloch Hell On Earth Adaptation Ad

I haven't seen one of these adapted science fiction graphic novels in years, and never read any, but I'd like to. I'll have to order that Keith Giffen/Bob Fleming one the next time I mail order some back issues...

nurgh's Worst. Songs. Ever. #3: "Smoke" by Natalie Imbruglia

(Commentary for original music video, which got disabled. You can see it here or here.)

So you're an Australian soap opera actress who decides to cut a pop album. Nothing new about that. You pull off a hit single that features the lyric "I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor," and a video set on a soap opera set. You're in your element, so I guess that's fine. Then, your follow-up single features only your very attractive, dolled-up self against a white background, with occasional effects thrown in. Here's where you're starting to push it, but you might be okay if you stick with an epic love song instead of being fully relatable. But wait, you choose instead a dire pity party of a number, focusing especially on childhood emotional trauma, explored through some of the worst lyrics ever. Added bonus: pretty much just a retread of your first single, to boot. Now, I believe you've gone too far, and I personally don't recall her scoring any more hits. Having heard the album, I'd say a far wiser selection would have been "Leave Me Alone," a remotely daring dabbling into a 1920's sound. Otherwise the album was more "Left of Middling" than anything. Terrible, simplistic song to follow, as well as a favorite bit of audible masochism, "what's up with that...?"

My lullaby,hung out to dry
What's up with that
It's over
Where are you dad
Mum's lookin' sad
What's up with that
It's dark in here
Why bleeding is breathing
You're hiding , underneath the smoke in the room
Try , bleeding is believing
I used to
My mouth is dry
Forgot how to cry
What's up with that
You're hurting me
I'm running fast
Can't hide the past
What's up with that
You're pushing me
Why , bleeding is breathing
You're hiding , underneath the smoke in the room
Try , bleeding is believing
I used to
I used to
Why , bleeding is breathing
You're hiding , underneath the smoke in the room
Try , bleeding is breathing
I saw you crawling on the floor
Why , bleeding is breathing
You're hiding , underneath the smoke in the room
Try , bleeding is breathing
I saw you crawling to the door
Why , bleeding is breathing
You're hiding , underneath the smoke in the room
Try , bleeding is breathing
I saw you falling on the floor

Now that you've seen it, I ask if you were also wondering when she was going to stop twirling and go away. "You're smoke, damn it! Blow out already!"

"The Sand Pebbles" Cast and Crew on Marayat Andriane

In commentary, the actor Mako said of Marayat, "she was much of a, you might say, loner really. Plus, she and I were staying at different hotels."

Director Robert Wise simply said, "Isn't she marvelous?" He then began laughing to himself for seven uneasy seconds, followed by another gulped chuckle.

Candice Bergen elaborated more fully: "Marayat; who was married to the French head of 'Ceto,' or something; she lived in Bangkok, and I remember that when I left, I visited her there and-- and had a lovely dinner with her, and she was quite exotic. Very beautiful, and, um, very educated, and fairly mysterious, but-- but lovely."

Sir Richard Attenborough continued: "The actress who I played opposite, I don't think, was an enormously experienced young actress... On the other hand, she had a wonderful truth about her. There was a wonderful sympathy. There was a wonderful simpleness-- uh, uh-- about the character. You didn't feel she was world wise a'tall... She was enchanting, I might say. Absolutely delightful, and very gracious to me, as being the 'professional actor,' as it were. I found myself very fond of her by the end of the movie."