Friday, November 7, 2008

Justice Liberals of America

Long months ago, I gave my opinions on the political affiliations of The Avengers and The Man of Steel. I even speculated on the The Grand Old JLA, then blew off bothering with my own party until now. I haven't read "Decisions", but I figure I can still spot the members of the Justice League of America who helped carry Obama to victory a few days back...

Green Arrow (Oliver Queen & Connor Hawke) & Red Arrow (Roy Harper): Duh.

Black Canary (Dinah Lance): A left-leaning feminist moderate, partly through association.

Green Lantern (John Stewart and Kyle Rayner): A former black militant and a freelance artist with as many gay friends as straight? Duh duh.

Batman (Bruce Wayne): One of those scary, fascistic Democrats that gives Rush Limbaugh night terrors. The Joker is the new Willie Horton. Batman has devoted his life to combating amoral capitalists, while himself a liberal elitist with deep pockets. In favor of gun control, counciling over imprisonment, welfare programs, and has occasionally even taken over the media through hi-tech means.

Wonder Woman: A Hillary Clinton "It Takes a Village" type, perfectly willing to send the troops after WMDs, then personally investigate issues with child support payments for her low-income friends. The most inclusionistic leader of the JLA in history, without regard to race, creed, color, gender identity, power level, general lameness or planet of origin.

Aquaman (Orin/Arthur Curry): An unpopular reformer amongst his people, with some viewing him as a criminal and outsider. Victim of religious persecution from dangerous fundamentalists. Married outside his dimension, adopted a boy who turned to sorcery, soft on crime, and constantly struggles to keep his citizens and military from instigating conflict with neighbors.

Martian Manhunter (J'Onn J'Onzz): An admitted Communist, the second and longest-term inclusionist JLA leader, opposed to the death penalty in even the worst cases, and constantly at odds with conservatives Hawkman, Blue Beetle, Booster Gold, Captain Atom and Triumph.

Zatanna Zatara: A stage magician and member of the Detroit-based Justice League who practiced tantric magic with John Constantine. Didn't she shoot one of those "Don't Vote" viral videos with Shirley MacLaine and Tom Cruise?

Mister Miracle (Scott Free): After decades spent on Apokolips, you couldn't really call him a liberal. He's most concerned with the happiness of himself and those nearest to him, but even still, he can't rest easily when others are not as free as himself. A moderate.

Rocket Red 4 (Dimitri Pushkin): Was communist loving freedoms of assignment in Land of Opportunity! What a country!

Fire (Beatriz da Costa): You know she's a Hugo Chavez fan, right?

Ice (Tora Olafsdotter): Environmentalist. Animal right activist. Bleeding heart.

Blue Jay (Jay Abrams): Ditto, though I'd say less concerned about PETA than GLAAD.

Animal Man (Buddy Baker): As above, but less a bleeding heart.

Lightray (Sollis): He's from New Genesis. They're all about the Great Society.

General Glory (Joseph Jones): A New Deal/Yellow Dog Democrat, not unlike the Marvel Comics model.

The Flash (Jay Garrick): See above, without the Marvel aside. Slightly more metropolitan that Barry and Wally, don'cha know? Contrasts Alan Scott's conservativism.

Tasmanian Devil (Hugh Dawkins): An Australian poof. He'd damned well better be a liberal.

Crimson Fox (Vivian and Constance d'Aramis): French. Need I elaborate?

Nuklon (Albert Rothstein): He took a hard right turn for a bit there, but he's still a nice Jewish boy who spent most of his time in the JLA with Fire and Obsidian.

Obsidian (Todd Rice): An unsteady Dem, as he was raised by Midwestern sociopaths, but finally stopped being so emo and came out of the closet.

Amazing Man (Will Everett, III): Like Will Everett II didn't march and have a picture of Kennedy and/or Johnson on his wall?

Blue Devil (Daniel Cassidy): He's one of those "Hollywood" types. Not counting Jon Voight and Kelsey Grammer.

Icemaiden (Sigrid Nansen): A Norwegian lesbian with a thing for Fire. Do the math.

Plastic Man (Patrick "Eel" O'Brien): A reformed thief whose best pal/sidekick is also a reformed thief, and who had a child out of wedlock. Hoover must have been dyspeptic.

Moon Maiden (Laura Klein): Such a product of '60s Camelot, how could she not?

Ambush Bug (Irwin Schwab): A "Boll Weevil."

Black Lightning (Jefferson Pierce): Though part of the Luthor Administration, still a tireless social reformer focused on equal opportunity through education.

Geo-Force (Prince Brion Markov): Self-righteous Euro-twat.

See also: Steel (John Henry Irons,) Hippolyta

I have to say, the republican list was more surprising, and of a higher quality. Maybe it's about historically uptight DC skewing right wing?

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